The Bar

Just another in the long list of diversions which keep me from finishing things I have promised. This time around, my sarcastic nature got the best of me, and I decided to take a look into the world of the characters in the stories some of us like to read and write. What do they do when stories aren't being written?

No sex, not really erotic, and meant to be nothing more than a light piece of humor.

*

I could say the lounge was dark and smokey, perfect for secret rendezvous, but that would be like saying it was a dark night out. There are only two types of drinking establishments, it seems. Either it is a family run bar with a couple of secluded booths and a waitress who will eventually sleep with you depending on the situation, or it is a lounge somewhere where office people go after work to drink, dance, and relax without their significant others. Lounges always have a place where one can hide while watching or listening to a cheating spouse. I guess that was the major difference.

Between the time I entered and when I made it to the bar, Sam had a beer waiting for me, and I grabbed it and walked to our regular Wednesday night table. I figured I was early, but Mary had beat me there. And yes, before you ask, Mary is one of my co-workers. And yes, I have had sex with her. A lot.

I settled at one of the empty seats at the far end, next to Mary. From where we were, we could observe the entire bar without being seen, and had a perfect view of the doorway. Just like I said earlier. She was dressed in a skimpy leather outfit, which showed off her round ass and new 38DD breasts to their fullest extent. No bra lines marred the smoothness of her top, and I assumed no panty lines were visible down below. If you are wondering how I knew her bra size, well, let's just say I have a knack for such things. I think you will figure out why soon enough. I could tell from the smell that she was drinking vodka, straight up. It must have been a rough day for her.

"Hey, Mary," I said, to the utmost of my wit.

"Hey, Bob," she replied. She wasn't in the best of moods, but at least I could tell it wasn't my fault.

"Looks like another dominatrix scene, eh?"

"Yeah. John is my wimp husband. We were working on chapter four today, so I am supposed to break out all the stops." She toasted me with her drink, took a deep sip, then said in a weary voice, "We're doing the gangbang later tonight, if you want to join in."

"Another gangbang? Didn't you do one just last week, in that 'housewife revenge on the bachelor party' gig?"

She took another hit of the vodka, and gave me a half smirk. "Yup. What I wouldn't do to get called in for one of those 'erotic coupling' bits. You remember the one we did for Halloween last year?"

"In the hayloft? Yeah, I remember. That was before your, um, enhancement."

She looked down at her gravity defying bust. "Yeah. Impressive, aren't they? It's really weird to have your boobs enter a room five minutes before you do. When I lie on my back, they point to the ceiling like missiles or something. You know, they never describe chest sizes in 'erotic couplings'. Not the ones I've been in."

"It could be worse. " I said. "I hear that they shrunk John to three inches, hard." She smiled in empathy at that. She had come up with his nickname, 'Bungee', after a run of stories last year where the size of his manhood was noted every time, and every time it was different. "Where is he, anyway?" I asked.

"Back at the set, refilling all the whiskey bottles with tea. After the gangbang, he is supposed to down half a bottle of Jack Daniels in order to drown his sorrows."

"That'll kill him!"

"Thus the tea. He hopes nobody notices, and he can sneak it through. With the drugs I use to knock him out so I can tie him to the chair, we figured that he should be careful with the alcohol."

Diane and Jill joined us, and brought another round of drinks with them. Diane was dressed casually in jeans and a sweatshirt. She didn't look a day over eighteen, and was always stuck in the role of babysitter, niece, daughter, or soon-to-be-deflowered-next-door-neighbor. Jill was in a nicely tailored black silk suit that emphasized her pale skin and bright red lips. She looked at me, then Mary, then Mary's tits. "Mind if we join you, or would the four of you like to be alone?"

I shot her a sarcastic glance, which she was fully prepared for and returned. Mary ignored the comment and piped up. "Wait, wait! Don't tell me - Jill, you are playing the 'mysterious woman in the bar who turns out to be a vampire, and..."

"Succubus."

"Okay, Succubus. Toh-may-toh, toh-mah-toh. I was close. And Diane, you are... 'the best friend'? Or maybe 'the woman the husband hooks up with when he discovers his wife is having an affair'?"

"Both," Diane replied. "And I have to give him my anal cherry, too. Again. You'd think some people never heard of straight coitus. It's always amazed me that anybody has any kids, what with all the anal sex people have. At least it's Dave this time, and we make love instead of the 'revenge fuck'. I always have a problem walking the day after those. Speaking of walking - Jeez, Mary, how do you stay balanced in those boots with tits like that? You need a license to carry those?"

"Gee, Di, I wouldn't know," Mary sniped back, looking at the 'innocent' girl. "If you want, I'm sure I could get you written in as the 'stripper with a heart of gold', and we could get you a set of your own."

Diane ignored the reference to her short term in the 'fetish' section, when she did a series of foot fetish stories. Everybody knew she couldn't walk correctly for a week after wearing those heels. She turned back to Bob. "How 'bout you, Bob. Anything going?"

"I've got a 'common man hero' gig coming up, where I am doing a lawyer bit to Dave's computer geek revenge fantasy, and next week I play the husband who was actually an ex-special forces trooper, but kept the fact hidden from his wife for twenty years. That one was in rough draft this morning. There is a possibility I might end up being a wimp, though, and take it in the ass from another guy."

Jill smiled at the lawyer comment. "I did the lawyer thing last week. I'd never remember the whole list of things you have to go through now if I hadn't written them down. Videotapes and pictures to everybody, credit cards, bank accounts, lawsuits for alienation of affection, does your state do 'adultery' as a cause for divorce, yadda yadda yadda. I still have the notes if you want them."

"That would be great. Thanks. I think my writer is lifting the plot from somebody else, but a little help wouldn't hurt."

"What's the discovery motif?" she asked, as she reached for one of the recently delivered hot wings.

"Nosey neighbor sees the lover naked by the pool while I am out of town, and emails me pictures."

"Ooh, haven't seen the neighbor bit in a while," she said, excitedly. "Who's the lover? And has the wife been cast? And I thought you weren't in to other guys?"

"Nothing on the wife, yet. We are still working out the background paragraphs; my ex-college roommate seduces my wife while I am away, so we have to establish the whole 'college days' experience. I'm trying to get a stand-in from the Gay section for the anal scene, if it comes down to that, but they got a new union rep over there they call 'the professor' and she's being a bitch. 'Nobody' she says,'gets to give it to one of my guys unless he is willing to take it himself.' And I don't mean a strapon. As it isn't part of the storyline that the Bull gets it, too, I don't see the point, and the negotiations aren't going well."

Diane's ears pricked up at the mention of the open role. "So, the roommate has been picked?"

"Yeah," I said. "But you might want to reconsider auditioning. Alex got the roommate part, and he isn't too happy."

"Why not?" she asked innocently. Mary, who had a view of the bar entrance, stifled a giggle as she put two and two together.

"Here he comes now. You can ask him yourself," snipped the dominatrix.

Alex was a big black man, and was walking with a rather pronounced limp. In fact, he was dragging his right leg behind him as he walked. He grabbed a cold draft as he passed the bar, drank enough that he wouldn't spill any as he walked, and made his way to the table.

Mary stifled another giggle, but Diane hadn't caught on yet.

I broke the ice by standing and offering the man a seat. "Yo, my brother, what it be?"

Alex shot me a dirty look which faded into a smile. "You know, it almost sounds as ridiculous when it comes out of your mouth." He took a long pull on the draft, closed his eyes as he swallowed, and let out a contented sigh as he smiled in relaxation.

Diane couldn't wait. "Alex, Bob says you are taking the part of his roommate in a story next week? Is it true they haven't cast the wife part yet?"

"No, they haven't. But you don't want it." He took another draw and looked at the expectant faces staring back at him. "I see Bob didn't tell you; it's a 'wife becomes slut to black cock' story. It should be in 'fetish', or 'interracial loving', at least, but I think they are going to push for 'loving wives'. If they had a 'cuckold wimp' category, it would be in there for sure. New writer, and he doesn't have an ending yet. Bob may or may not wreak revenge at the finish."

A number of the group broke out in sympathetic laughter, but Diane still didn't get it. "What's not to want? About the part, I mean. A gig is a gig."

Alex took another drink, emptying his mug. He signaled for another round for the table, then turned to Diane. "First draft has me nailing my roomie's girlfriend while he is in class one day. She becomes a slave to my 'big black cock'. Why there aren't any black guys that want a black woman, I don't know. But once she's had a taste, well, you know she'll want a second helping sooner or later."

Diane caught on now. "How bad?"

"He wrote that I get hard at the drop of a hat, I have at least a foot of man flesh, and it is so thick that the girlfriend can't wrap her hand all the way around and get her fingers and thumb to touch. And when I come, I not only have enough to fill whatever orifice I am in, but extra squirts out around the sides."

Mary let out a guffaw at that one.

"Oh dear," Diane said. "Last week, weren't you 'as big as a textbook'?"

"Yeah. That guy really needed an editor, that's for sure. Worst part about it this time is trying to fit the damn thing down my pants leg. If the wind blows hard enough, I get an erection."

Well, I thought, that explained his limp.

Mary was laughing so hard she was in tears. He shot her a dirty look, then slowly returned her smile. He was still talking to Diane, but he stared at Mary as he spoke. "But I'll tell you right now, the writer is looking for the perfect wife to lose her anal cherry to my new cock."

Mary stopped laughing and her smile started to fade. "Er, um, that's okay. I think I got a line on another story. Really."

He continued, "One with '38DD tits that haven't started to go flabby despite her being in her thirties'. Somebody who 'gets opened up so wide that her ass echoes when I pull out' is what the current draft says. Preferably somebody that knows how to 'dominate her wimp husband...'" He let the intent finish the sentence for him.

"Shit," Mary said, as she emptied her glass. "Who writes this stuff?"

*end*