The Asian Hooker Who Ate Out My Ass

It was a hot and humid summer night, just a week past my 28th birthday, and I was out drinking at a sports bar with Teddy, an old friend from high school who I hadn't seen in years. We'd recently reconnected through Facebook, and when business brought him to Baltimore, where I was living at the time, we made plans to meet up.

So there we were, on neighboring bar stools, slamming down brews, catching up on the good ole' days. Before long we started talking about our favorite subject then and still now- women. I was single, getting some here and there, but far from a Casanova. He'd gotten married to his college sweetheart, shortly after graduation, and had a boy with her, who's now two years old. Teddy said that ever since the kid came into the picture, well, the sex life with the Mrs. wasn't what it was before. Told me they didn't even do it for a year after she gave birth.

"A year? A whole year?" I asked, my eyebrows rising up in amazement.

"A year. A whole... year." He sorrowfully replied, putting special emphasis on the word "whole."

"Yeah," he continued, "I survive mostly through jerking off to computer porn. It's like I'm a teenager again. I'd probably fuck around with someone else if I could, but being out of the dating scene for a while has left me with serious lack of mack. Plus, I don't get out much anyway, so I can't imagine it happening. Though I'd kinda like it to, to be honest..."

"I wonder if she feels the same. She doesn't seem too interested in doing anything sexually. I mean, every so often she'll give me some, but it's like it's out of pity, like a mercy fuck. And instead of being the wild chick she once was, she'll just lay there, dead fish style..."

"I fantasize a lot about fucking other people, even during the seldom times when I'm with her. I'll close my eyes and picture myself fucking girls from work, one I saw on the street, Megan Fox, whoever. I think I really need a hot lay. It's been years since I had a hot, hair-pulling, ass-slapping, nasty type one. "

The four beers I'd totaled and consecutive whiskey double shots I'd just slammed down began to take their toll on me, and I half-drunkenly looked Teddy dead in the eyes.

"Listen," I said. "It's a total sausage fest in here, but I know a good pick up bar down the street that's crawling with dimes. Wanna go?"

"Ah, those places are meat markets. Look at this spare tire I'm packing?" He exclaimed, pointing down to the bulging beer gut hanging well over his belt, completely obscuring the buckle. And since he was now speaking with a slight slur, I knew the drinks were starting to affect him too.

"That and the tan line on my finger from my ring, nah, I'm rife to be shot down for sure. I hated those places even when I was single."

"Fair enough, but if you're really interested in getting some action, we could, well..."

I cut myself off because it'd been a while since I'd last seen Teddy, and I didn't really know how he'd react to what I was about to suggest. I must not have been as drunk as I thought due to the fact that I was still thinking before speaking.

"What, exactly, could we do?" He asked, leaning in closer to me, sporting that toothy, devilish grin I remembered from the time we snuck into the girls locker room during gym class, broke into nearly every locker, and stole nearly every pair of panties and bra we could find.

His devilish grin caused me to put on my own devilish grin and I nodded my head and went on.

"There's a place I frequent every so often when the dating's slow. It's an Asian massage parlor where you can get a little more than a massage, if you know what I mean..."

"Wait, I've heard about those places. Thought about visiting one but never got around to it... yet." He replied, really starting to perk up, his eyes bulging.

"Alight..." I got a serious look on my face and broke it down for him.

"It's only fifteen minutes from here by cab. Costs $50 at the door, then a girl'll give you a table shower. After that she'll massage your back for a few minutes and ask if you want more. 'More' usually costs around $120-140. But if the girl likes you, she might go lower."

"You in?" I asked, with an even more serious look.

"I'm 'bout it, 'bout it!" He slurred, drumming his hands on the bar counter.

That Masta P, late 1990s hip hop phrase sounded really stupid, I thought. I wondered what the fuck we were thinking back then, listening to such shitty music.

"Okay, I gotta take a piss first and stop by the ATM."

"I'm 'bout it with that too!" He yelled out, sloppily wiping beer foam off his goatee, then grabbing at his crotch, which let me know he's really pretty fucked up at this point. (He might be fucked up and he might be on old pal, but if he keeps on quoting Masta P songs the whole evening I might have to kill him, I thought to myself.)

After pissing and withdrawing cash, we stumbled out of the bar, laughing and backslapping, and hailed a cab over to the massage parlor.

The parlor itself is on the top floor of a four storey, narrow, nondescript puke green row house type building. On the first floor of the building there's a shady looking real estate company that's never open; on the second floor there's a grimy tattoo shop; the third floor is occupied by a fortune teller that's also never open; and on the fourth and final level sits the aforementioned massage parlor.

After our turban-headed, American flag t-shirt wearing taxi driver dropped us off, we entered the building through its front door that's never, ever closed at any hour of the day. We glanced over at each other without speaking and walked into and up the long, winding, rickety, dusty smelling staircase that ascends to the fourth floor. Teddy was all chatty in the cab, singing 90s rap songs (fortunately no more Masta P), and cracking jokes, but once we got to the puke green building he became dead silent. Must have been nervous, I guess.

The staircase led us directly to the dark red painted, Oriental lettered, thick metal front door of the parlor, which I must say, there's something mystical about. Maybe it's just from the long walk up the stairs, but every time I see that door my heart starts to beat faster.

I rang the door buzzer and noticed Teddy staring up at the little black security camera perched over the doorway. He looked sort of pale, and I could see beads of sweat formulating on his forehead.

"Don't worry, dude. I don't think they have cameras in the rooms." I joked, chuckling, though I wasn't 100% sure, and I started to wonder if maybe they did and if I was on the Internet somewhere fucking a prostitute/masseuse.

He didn't laugh or respond at all to my quip and his lack of reaction made my smile crumble.

The parlor's door opened slowly, with a slight swooshing sound, and the Madam, a heavyset Korean lady in her 50s, who'd seen me a couple times before, immediately recognized me and welcomed me with a smile and low impact hug. She quickly smelled the liquor on our breaths, stepped back and made that hand waving over the nose motion, coupled with a "tsk tsk" head shaking gesture, then whisked us inside.

Seeing that Teddy was nervous, she smiled and rubbed his upper left arm and spoke to him in a maternal, heavily Asian accented voice.

"Don't worry, dear. We take care you."

Teddy remained silent and pale.

"50 dollar you both..." The Madam said, business-like, extending her right hand to us.

We promptly broke out our wallets and paid her. Then the Madam separated us and pointed us in the direction of adjacent rooms. There's only about 5 or 6 rooms in the whole place, so I knew we wouldn't be too far apart, and I wondered if I'd hear the sex sounds bleeding in through the walls of his room, or if he'd hear mine.

"See you later, man! Have fun." I said, waving to Teddy.

Saying nothing, he managed only a slight, non-toothy grin before disappearing into his room.

My room is small. All the rooms in this place seemed to be of diminutive size dimensions, but this one appeared smaller than the others I'd been in. Unlike the others that had plain white walls, this one had yellowish wallpaper with some type of nonsymmetrical floral patterns. The room contained only a single sized bed and a night stand in the corner with a cheap alarm clock/radio thing sitting atop it that had red digital numbers flashing 12:00 on and off.

I looked around the room for a possible hidden camera, didn't see one and figured "what the fuck" and proceeded to undress in military speed. I laid down, butt-naked, and stretched my legs out, my feet hanging slightly over the edge of the thin and short, futon-like bed. A couple minutes later, my masseuse arrived.

You never know what you'll get in these sorts of places, granted I'd only been to two such establishments, this one and another. The other I went to had fairly chubby and not especially good looking chicks, but this place, this place had only premium pussy. And what walked through that door was no exception.

She was hot. Smoking hot. Probably early to mid twenties, she was tall for an Asian chick, around 5-8 or so, and her longish, thin, leggy legs were planted in a pair of those thick heeled black fuck me pumps that drive me wild. She had a killer hour glass figure with tight abdominal muscles that indicated gym usage, and those tight abs led up to a set of perky breasts that were probably of B, maybe C cup proportions. And she was no "butterface" either. Her roundish face and chocolaty long eyelashed eyes were flat out gorgeous and told me she was probably Korean. She had absolutely ravishing hair as well; long, straight, and jet black, it was parted in the middle, ran just a bit past her shoulder blades, and was all shiny and glimmering, even in the room's dim light.

Dressed in a tight, one piece red miniskirt, I could see that her butt was somewhat small, which is common for Asian chicks, but, although small, it looked tight and compact, and whatever she lacked in the rear department, the rest of her body more than made up for.

"Hi. My name Lina." She smilingly said with an Asian accent far heavier than the Madam's. As she sat down next to me, she appeared to be happy with the sight of my nude, gym chiseled body.

"You want table shower?"

"I sure do." I retort.

She took a white cotton bath robe from off the coat hanger on the back of the room's door and handed it to me to put on, then gently grabbed hold of my right wrist, opened the door, and peered out the doorway, looking in both directions. Seeing that the coast was clear, she led me down the hall to the table shower room.

Once in the room, I disrobed, and she laid me down, face up, on a large, elevated table, somewhat akin to a surgical table, although this thing was very comfortably cushioned (and really a much better place to be). She ran the faucet next to the table and took bucketfuls of steamy hot water mixed with a rosy-fragranced bubble soap and lapped it over me, scrubbing me with her hands and a large, scrunchy purple sponge. It was a bit like a bubbly sponge bath, I guess, and damn it felt good.

The rosy smell of the bubbly soap and the strong scent of her vanilla perfume were colliding and creating quite the unique, erotic aroma. And it was stimulating me greatly. I deeply breathed in the lovely scents and rubbed my fingers lightly along her silky smooth thighs as she bathed me, and we both let out quiet, pleasured sighs. I think I felt my penis move several times during the course of this.

Then she flipped me over, washed down my backside, and I noticed that she paid special attention to my ass, scrubbing it, inside and out, for what seemed like a minute or two. Not that I was complaining. In fact, all that butt scrubbing and rinsing was turning me on.

After the table shower/sponge bath was over, she toweled me off, put my robe back on me, again peered out the doorway to make sure no one was out there, and led me back to our room. The second she closed the door, I chucked off my bathrobe, laid facedown on the bed and she climbed on top of me, sat down just above my butt, and started rubbing my shoulders in circular massaging motions. I could feel the warmth of her pussy through her panties on my lower back whilst she sat on me, and that, plus the massaging, was starting to give me an erection. Before long, strands of her soft hair touched my neck and her breath tickled into my left ear as she whispered "want more?" to which I enthusiastically answered "YES!"

"$140." She whisperingly price quoted me.

I was sort of offended by that price, because I thought she liked me and would go lower. But oh well, I didn't care. She was well-worth the extra cash.

So I got up from under her, dug my wallet out of my pants, and picked out and stacked the cash on the nightstand, all of it in crisp, ATM produced twenties.

I laid back down on the bed, face up, and was pleased to see her standing beside the bed, rubbing her breasts and licking her lips at me. She then proceeded to remove her one piece mini with a single movement. To my surprise, she wore no bra, and her breasts looked far perkier than I'd imagined they would and had the thick, dark pink nipples I like. Very suckable nipples, I must say. Below the beltline, she had on some lacy black panties, not exactly thong, but close to it; you know, the ones with a thin V across the butt.

She stepped out of her thick heeled pumps and pulled her panties down and kicked them to the side with a swift left foot. They landed not too far from where my robe sat on the floor. With her panties now removed, I got a splendid look at her vagina, which was shaven bald. Just the way I like it.

"Yup." I cooed, sounding a bit like Hank Hill, bobbing my head in complete concurrence. At this juncture I was sporting a rock hard erection (which I will not lie about) was proudly flying six inches high.

Lina grabbed a condom from the drawer underneath the nightstand and climbed onto the bed. She ripped open the wrapper and slipped the rubber into her mouth. Then she grasped my erection in her right hand and lowered her head down upon it, encasing it in latex at a blinding pace as she began to work my penis in and out of her welcoming, warm and wet mouth.

But after only about twenty to thirty seconds, she released my unit from her mouth's grip and worked her way down lower, flicking her tongue tenderly against my testicles. Then she continued her descent, trailing her probing tongue down the length of my scrotum. At this point, though, she did something that I in no way, shape, or form expected...

She grabbed a hold of my buttcheeks, taking one in each hand, spread them apart, and buried her face in between them. Next thing I knew, she was licking madly at my anus, her tongue twirling around the entirety of its circumference.

I had never experienced such a feeling in my life. My toes curled up and tingling shockwaves of pleasure shot up my spine. I managed only to whimper and fumblingly groan but really wanted to scream out in delight. She continued to tongue around my nether region for about thirty seconds or so, and I felt as though I might ejaculate right then and there but did not.

She soon relented her tongue to anus assault, rose up to her knees, hovered over top of me, grabbed my throbbing penis and impaled herself upon it, my manhood sliding easily into her super tight, hot, Kung Pao, wah-yun-yun-yun-yah pussy.

She rode my penis like a pro and I arched my back up and licked, sucked, and nibbled on her thick nipples and clutched onto her tight little Korean ass as she bumped and grinded on my pelvis and made her sexy little moaning sounds. It was simply amazing.

I will not lie about the duration of the intercourse. I was so worked up and her pussy so tight that I was only able to supply her with the hot beef injection for about a minute before I prematurely ejaculated into her. My bone shaking orgasm so intense that I thought it might shoot the condom off my penis, straight up into her uterus.

Astutely noticing how fast my penis had become limp, she looked down at me, dismounted, and laughed, shaking her head and muttering something about "too excited."

Normally I might be disappointed about prematurely ejaculating with a hooker, because in a way it's like you're not really getting your money's worth. But this time, I was not. Because after having my ass eaten out, especially in such surprising fashion, I felt positively electrified, completely satiated, and the orgasm I'd had was like no other I could remember.

But I also felt a bit gay. I mean, she did eat my ass, and I enjoyed it. Did this make me a homosexual? I don't know... But if it's a woman eating your ass, doesn't that even things out? And it's not like I asked her to do that or anything (though I certainly didn't tell her to stop)... And if it's a surprise attack, does that absolve me from any possible homosexuality? I really don't know... A lot of these thoughts ran through my mind as I put my clothes back on. I definitely felt slightly awkward.

Lina and I hugged and she brought me back out front, where I saw Teddy having a glass of ice water and singing "U Can't Touch This" with the Madam, which was a horrifying sight. Heavyset Korean ladies in their 50s just shouldn't sing and MC Hammer dance. Really, no one should. But I was glad to see Teddy happy again. He had a big, ear to ear grin on his face.

I kissed Lina on the cheek (I surely wasn't going to kiss her on the mouth after what she'd done to me) and Teddy and I hugged the Madam goodbye and exited out to the stairs.

As we stepped back into the humid night, I glanced over at Teddy.

"So, you have a good time?" I asked.

"Oh yeah... What'd you and yours do?" Teddy shot back.

"Just... some stuff. The... usual." I said, demurely, pretending to scan around for a cab more intently than I really was.

"How about you?"

"Yeah... some... stuff." He replied, looking downwards at the ground, trying to avoid eye contact.