Qwerty was looking around in the queue for CPU time. He was looking for Kay9, the single most beautiful program ever made. She was an encryption program, made entirely in assembly language. She was the most slender one of all programs in the computer, and boy, was she fast. She encrypted files faster than Qwerty could see, and he heard she compiled in a tenth of a second. He didn't know if it was true, but he wanted to find out. But he was only a simple e-mail program. He didn't think he had any chance with someone like Kay9.
-Hey, Qwerty! he suddenly heard behind him.
It was her. His POP3-protocol routines started to pound furiously. They always did that around her.
-Oh, Kay9, hiii! he stuttered. He was glad he wasn't executing code, or he might have caused a crash. The queue was packed, so she stood pressed against him. He could feel her IDEA encryption routine pressed against the back of his data segment. Her routine was perfectly formed, like it was made to squeeze.
-Pretty crowded in here, isn't it? she said.
-Yeah, the USER must be really busy. He's had me in the background for quite some time now. What's your task? If isn't too secret?
-Oh, I'm just supposed to encrypt some pornographic pictures of his. JPEG format. Easy task.
-I see.
-Oh wait... The USER wants me further up the queue.
-We should get together sometime. Maybe you could show me your protocol routines? she said as she was floating away.
He just looked at her back floating away until he saw her stepping in front of CeeCee. He could hardly believe what she had just said. He had always wanted to show her his protocol routines. In fact, he had a secret fantasy that she would rub her encryption routines all over his protocol routines. He always caused an error when thinking of that during execution.
He looked back at her and saw her tightly pressed against CeeCee. CeeCee was also a very attractive program. She was a firewall and made in C, so she was a bit bulkier than Kay9, but still really sexy. As Qwerty looked at the two sexy programs laughing with their data segments pressed between them, his file handling routines started to get hard. There was nothing he could do to stop it.
Unfortunately, the program standing in front of him, Account, felt his file handling starting to poke into her behind. Account was a really old program made in Cobol, but she was nice anyway.
-Oh, but young Qwerty, are we a bit excited? Account said smiling.
-Sorry, Account... Qwerty said with shame.
-Oh, there's nothing to be ashamed of Qwerty. An old program like me doesn't get many of these chances. In fact, I wouldn't mind if you got a little closer to me.