Authors note. Although this story is in the humour and satire category I have also tried to keep it sexy, and have attempted to at least touch on most genres over the full series. That means if you don't like gay, lesbian, anal, transgender or any of the other categories within Literotica then there may be bits you want to skip over. Please give it a go and let me know what you think, I enjoy getting comments, even those with creative criticism. There are six chapters and they should be put up at the rate of one every week. Do not expect reality, it is a fairy tale.
The story is set way before condoms, so if you want a safe sex message then I suggest that if you are going to masturbate over the hot bits then you wear a condom while reading. Keyboards with sticky keys are no fun.
Please enjoy – BB1212
The Queen entered her private chamber and bolted the door behind her.
"Elsie." She called, and her tonguemaiden appeared. Elsie was a plain woman in her late twenties, with unruly hair and she was a little overweight. She was called the Queen's tonguemaiden because she had a remarkably talented tongue, which was much more useful to the Queen than her hands, otherwise she would have been a handmaiden. Another value she had to the Queen was that she was very quietly spoken and totally discrete.
"Yes Your Highness?" Elsie said softly. The Queen pirouetted in front of her full-length mirror.
"Bring me the magic dildo." Elsie's eyes narrowed briefly. If anyone had asked her she would have told them that the Queen spent far too much time riding the magic dildo, and not enough time riding King Dominic, but no one asked.
"Yes, Your Majesty." Elsie whispered, and she disappeared into a side chamber. The Queen smiled as she looked at her reflection. She was beautiful; there was no doubt about it. Her figure was strikingly feminine, her hair was long and shiny and her eyes held the kind of promises that brave men would go on suicidal quests for. She had married the King in a huge ceremony just over two years earlier, and had used her magic dildo every month or so to make sure she was still the most beautiful woman in the land. Elsie entered the main chamber again; she was pushing a large device on wooden wheels.
"Where would you like it Your Majesty?" Elsie asked, knowing the reply already. The Queen liked to watch this monster entering her body.
"Here girl," The Queen snapped, "in front of the mirror." Elsie nodded and pushed the device into position. The Queen smiled in anticipation, looking at the massive dildo. It would have been two feet long and, although it started at normal penis girth, at the base it was so thick that the Queen could not touch her fingers and thumbs of both hands together around it. And the Queen had very long fingers. The magic dildo was huge. "My clothes, Elsie." The Queen commanded, and Elsie tore her eyes away from the dildo. She would have loved to have tried it, but didn't dare, both in fear of the Queen's anger, and in fear of the damage that such a huge item could do to her.
Elsie had only ever had a man inside her once, and that was the King. After his first wife had died he had taken any woman in the castle he wanted when he was horny, and once he had been walking behind Elsie in a corridor when this happened. He had grabbed Elsie and bent her forward across a table, lifting her dress and exposing her virgin hole. Elsie had struggled at first, but when he had said 'Be still woman.' she had realised it was the King, and had meekly surrendered to his will. He had rubbed his cock up and down her slit to lubricate it, and then spat on his hand too, and rubbed that on the end. The King had entered Elsie to his full length in one thrust, making her yelp in pain and surprise. His cock had felt enormous, and Elsie had been amazed not only of the length as it filled her, but also the width as it had stretched her wide. She was whimpering as he started thrusting in and out of her, but the King had not slowed at all. He had fucked her for a long time, and Elsie remembered her embarrassment as some servants had passed them in the hall, politely averting their eyes as the King took his pleasure with the plain servant girl. Eventually he had started thrusting faster and then she had felt the warm liquid squirting inside her as he finally cum. All he had said to her was 'Nice and tight.' and then he walked off satisfied, leaving Elsie to rearrange her clothes and continue her work as if nothing had happened. Although some of the women that the King had taken during this period had become pregnant, this had not happened to Elsie, and she was secretly just a little disappointed that she didn't get to bear the King's baby.
"Elsie, my clothes." The Queen said impatiently, and Elsie jumped and hastened to her. She unlaced the Queen's gown at the back, and then unbuttoned it so she could slip it off her shoulders and down. The Queen stepped out of it and Elsie quickly hung it up to avoid creases. The Queen required her gowns to look perfect. Elsie then removed the Queen's under gown in the same way, and then her petticoats. Eventually the Queen stood naked and beautiful in front of Elsie. As usual Elsie was amazed, it was so easy to see that that the Queen was the most beautiful woman anywhere, and Elsie was surprised that the Queen needed any confirmation.
"You are beautiful, my Queen, there could never be one to match you." Elsie said admiringly. The Queen pirouetted again, looking at her reflection. She had shapely hips and beautifully long and elegant legs. Her tits were amazing too; they stood proudly, the semi erect nipples pointing naturally upwards.
"Yes," she agreed, "a more beautiful woman would definitely be something Elsie." She turned again and went to her bed. "I think I need some preparation." The Queen said, and Elsie smiled. The Queen tasted better than good, and this was a task Elsie enjoyed immensely.
The Queen lay down on her back on her bed and spread her legs, exposing her impossibly beautiful pussy. The hair was soft and curly, her lips proud and straight. Elsie followed the Queen to the bed and lowered her lips to meet the Queen's. As their lips met both women smiled. This was always good. At first Elsie just lapped gently, poking her tongue into the folds and creases, enjoying the nectar that was within. Her tongue gently probed the Queen's hole, just pushing in far enough to make the Queen squirm. Elsie slowly built up the intensity, occasionally licking the Queen's clit as it poked out of its hood. The Queen shuddered and moaned as the girl between her legs lit the fires of her desires, and then licked them into a blaze. This girl was a true tonguemaiden; she knew just what to do and when to do it. The Queen's hips bucked as the intensity rose, and she was running with the juices that she would need to pass the next erotic test. Elsie had slipped a couple of fingers into the Queen, and she gently added another. The Queen needed all of the stretching she could get. As the Queen's orgasm approached Elsie eventually managed to put her entire hand into the Queen's throbbing pussy. The Queen moaned in ecstasy, and came, her pussy clenching around Elsie's hand, pulsing as she bucked and moaned in delight. Elsie left her hand inside the Queen as the sensations subsided. The Queen smiled weakly.
"Is that four fingers this time Elsie, it feels like a lot?"
"No Your Majesty," Elsie smiled in triumph, "it is my whole hand." The Queen looked in surprise, and then looked at the mirror at the end of her bed. Sure enough the girl's hand was entirely inside her.
"You have excelled yourself my dear." The Queen said happily. "I will reward you, I think tonight I will allow my personal guards to take care of you." Elsie was suddenly worried. The Queen's personal guards were four men who had been chosen not just for their strength, but also for their endowment and stamina.
"You are too kind Your Majesty, I could not possibly..."
"Of course you could." The Queen said, dismissing any argument. "Now let's see how well we can do with the magic dildo today, I have a good feeling, although that might just be your hand in my pussy." Elsie smiled hesitantly and slowly withdrew her hand. Four men. Four very big and very horny men. She wasn't sure if she was going to enjoy this night or not, but she was afraid that it would be not.
The Queen walked slowly to the magic dildo, and climbed onto it. It was like a large chair, and she squatted over the head of the dildo, gently rubbing her wetness onto it, before using her arms and legs together to slowly lower herself onto it. Her eyes were open and she was watching intently in the mirror as it slowly entered her body and spread her pussy lips wide. Elsie watched in fear and envy as the huge item was slowly swallowed. The length was deceptive once it was inside the Queen, it was hard to know how deep it was, but Elsie and the Queen could both see the stretching of her pussy lips as it got wider. The Queen rode the device, working it in and out, and it warmed up with her body engulfing it. The Queen was moaning constantly as she was filled deeper and deeper, and opened wider and wider. Finally she screamed in pain as she reached the limit of her body. Elsie reached around and marked the spot on the dildo where it entered the Queen.
"A new record, Your Majesty." Elsie said in excitement.
"Bloody good effort love." The magic dildo said happily, and it suddenly throbbed with life, making the Queen moan even more. The Queen waited for a moment, to settle her feelings, and then she spoke.
"Magic dildo, huge and grand. Who's the sexiest in the land?"
"Do we really have to do that rhyming shit?" The dildo asked.
"You are a magic dildo," the Queen said reproachfully, "and that's the way it's done." The dildo sighed.
"OK, you win." It paused, tickling the Queen's inner depths absently, and making her gasp. "Magnificent Queen so very tight, the sexiest one would be Snot Brite."
"What?" Elsie cowered as the words sunk in; this was not going to be pretty.
"Magnificent Queen so very tight, the sexiest one would be Snot Brite." The dildo repeated. Snot Brite was the Crown Princess, and the daughter of the King by his first wife. She was the only child that he had ever Sired (Kings Sire children, the rest of us just sire children) legitimately, and she was the only woman even close to the Queen in beauty.
"Bloody dildo, wrong somehow, why do you just say her name now?" The Queen said in a furious tone.
"Literotica has this rule, and underage just wouldn't do. Snot Brite just turned eighteen today, her tits are better, I now can say."
"Arrrrgh." The Queen screamed in anger, tensing as she did.
"Arrrrgh." The magic dildo echoed. "Take it easy love, you might snap me off the way you are going."
"And so I should." The Queen said angrily, and she started to slide up the dido.
"Wait till I come." The dildo said desperately. "That's what keeps you so beautiful." Elsie's ears pricked up, she didn't know that. The Queen slipped off the dildo anyway.
"Maybe next time," she said shortly, "if you have better news for me. I'm off to fix this problem. Dress me Elsie." She commanded, and Elsie timidly did.
"Can I help any more, Your Majesty?" Elsie asked as she finished.
