Randy Rudi or Easter Bunny...

Randy Rudi, or Easter Bunny: The Real Story

Once upon a time, in a land far, far away …

Hey, don't look at me like that! Geeze – the story is about the Easter Bunny, so you knew you were in for a fairy tale! Anyway…

Once upon a time in a land far, far away there lived a fair maiden. Her hair was shining and golden like the sun on the wide blue skies, and her eyes were blue and clear like the ponds that dotted the lush green meadows.

Yeah sure … she has boobs too – just give me a minute. This is a story and not a race!!

Her voice was enchanting, and even the most virtuous singing birds went quiet when she intoned a tune. The nightingales turned into a mere background choir to her chiming laughter that seemed to bubble from deep within her soul, contagiously raised and finally burst like the pearls in a champagne glass.

YES! I told you she had boobs …just one more second!

Her lithe frame was exquisite; her shapely hips were carried by legs that seemed to go on and on and on. Above her hourglass shaped waist sat a pair of the most delicious, mouth-watering and ripe boobs …

uhmmmm … tasty fruit that was supposed to be. Damn, see what you are doing to my story???

... and the most famous painters had applied to preserve her features for eternity - but so far her father and mother, who were the mighty king and queen of this country, had not allowed any male to approach their daughter to even look at her.

The princess grew up as a sheltered girl, unaware of lies or treachery, and her days were filled with gay games and …

NO! It wasn't THAT long ago that "gay" was just another word for "happy" without any other notions! Can I go on now? – Thanks!

…and her days were filled with gay games and the joys of the innocent.

Oh my goodness – she was a virgin, I just told you her parents wouldn't let her see anyone so yes, the games of the innocent. Will you please shut up and not interrupt me at every second word!!!!!

…and her days were filled with gay games and the joys of the innocent.

Her parents had been waiting for an heir for many years, they had been praying to all the known and unknown deities, and when the little princess took her first breath on this world a new day was dawning – the sun was just raising in the east and thus her parents called her Easter.

Easter was a pure and innocent beauty – and her days were spent in the sheltered confines of her parents' estate. She loved to go on long walks. Especially after the long and cold, snowy winters she enjoyed the feeling of the first sunrays on her face. The days became longer and the warmth of the sun felt so good on her skin. And with the first warm days nature seemed to become alive as well. The flowers raised their fragile heads and as if by a giant magic hand the green meadows seemed to be painted in all colours of the rainbow.

I know – I know this is an erotic story! … and NO! she is not going to fuck the bloody flowers – will you just bloody fuck shut up!!!!!????

It was a delightfully warm day in spring when Easter was once again on one of her strolls across the countryside. The sun was already quite hot for this time of the year and she decided she would go and take a nap at one of her favourite places – a birch grove at a sacred well. The air was always fresh and cool there, and the moss and herbs made the most delightful of beds. With a merry tune on her lips she went on her way and …

Yes, she is going to get laid! Will you for goodness sake just give me a little more time to get my story told? After all I am revealing the secrets of centuries – that just takes a tad longer than 3 minutes. Read one of the other stories if you can't wait to get off! This is supposed to be erotic but educational after all!

When she reached the glade, the scent of the herbs growing nearby filled her nostrils – sweet and spicy alike, she thought. All of a sudden she felt dizzy and she stretched out in the soft moss, wondering if she had run too fast or if it was just the heavy spring air that filled her lungs, thick like honey, with every breath she took.

She wasn't sure if she was awake or dreaming when a little while later something soft and fluffy nudged her. Upon opening her eyes she was looking into the big black button eyes of a rabbit. In those days of course the rabbits were a lot bigger than they are today – and as it was usual in those times, men and animals could talk to each other without any problems.

OK, ok – I KNOW rabbits aren't the size of men but how on earth can I write a decent sized cock into the story considering the size bunnies are nowadays???

Easter sat up and looked at the rabbit "Who arest thou? And what is your desire?"

"I am called Rudi Rammler," the fluffy rabbit replied, "and I was trying to find out if you smelled as enchanting as you looked like."

Easter blushed. "What doest thou mean – enchanting? And, doest thou not know humans don't smell?"

OK, ok – I was thinking it would add to the "once upon a time" image if I had them talk Shakespearian … but I'll try to tame my enthusiasm.

"Ohhhhhh, is that so?" Rudi Rammler answered and started to snuffle at the tender spot right behind her ear. "Say, didn't any of your fellow humans tell you what a delicious little plant you are?"

"Me – a plant? But I am no such thing – I am a fair maiden, my furry friend." Easter couldn't suppress a chuckle and with a delighted giggle noticed, how the bunny's whiskers were quivering as the little black wet bunny nose was raised.

Encouraged by her naivety, randy Rudi Rammler began to whisper sweet nonsense into her ear … about how she reminded him of the crisp young carrots that were so tender yet firm – and his whiskers tickled her earlobes in a delicate way that made her heart beat faster. Slightly confused about her reaction, but in her innocence not at all suspicious, she kept listening to his charming and flattering words, a rosy glow on her young cheeks.

Rudi next complimented her on her berry lips, asking if she minded if he had a taste, just to find out if they were as fruity and juicy as were the strawberries they reminded him of – and a lecherous shine became visible in his no-longer innocent looking button eyes when he watched pure little Easter subconsciously lick her full, pouting lips.

See – I told you it would turn erotic! And hey – this tale has it all – just wait and see!

"And then there are the full round apples that are so sweet and full and round … say, my fair maiden – there are not by any chance some tasty apples hidden in your dress that would be just a delicious treat for a cute furry fellow like me?"

With a regretting smile Easter had to admit there was no such fruity treat hidden in the folds of her dress – but randy Rudi didn't stop his teasing until she felt she had to show the rabbit there was noting but herself hidden underneath the linen. Like a nymph out of a mountain well she finally stood before her seducer in her birthday suite… and it didn't take more than a flash before he had started a thorough examination of Easter's very own sweet fruits. Her melons were firm and covered with a soft glow of embarrassment. And they were topped with delicious berries, standing erect and ready to be tasted … and Rudi didn't wait long before doing just that. His whiskers quivered with hardly concealed desire and his little bunny tail was wagging excitedly. When Easter felt the cool moist bunny nose touch her warm immaculate skin she shivered – but the longer the bunny played with her delicious fruits the more her eyelashes, resting on the peachy soft skin of her cheeks, fluttered like excited butterflies.

WHAT? What is wrong now? … what do you mean – this is too picturesque for your taste? This isn't a porn flick but a part of the cultural heritage of our civilisation! I can't help it that those fairy tales are told like that – I bloody didn't write it (yeah, ok I did – so what?)! What would you have liked to hear? Her enormous boobs were swinging freely when she ripped the dress off of her voluptuous body. Her perky nipples sat on her tits like berries, just challenging randy Rudi to suck on them … forget it!

Soon his seductive words and actions had caused Easter to feel all hot and bothered. Her lithe body writhed and twisted under the fluffy furry animal's expert touch – and Rudi Rammler felt he could approach the next step of his disdainful plan!

"You know Easter – I wonder if it is the same with you fair maidens as it is with the most tasty culinary delicacies …"

In delightfully innocent curiosity and confusion Easter asked: "What do you mean, my furry friend? What is the special secret of the delicacies you are referring to?"

And the wily rabbit answered: "The sweetest parts of the fruits – like the honeyed centres of the blooming flowers - are hidden by nature so that the treasure chest will not easily be plundered."

Easter opened her big blue eyes and looked down along her already bare body "But – where could there be anything hidden anymore? You already see me in all my natural glory my furry friend!" she uttered in delightfully innocent confusion.

"Well, my fair maiden, the treasures of mother nature are well hidden as I told you – and you are right, they are not obvious on first sight … but trust me, I have the tools to find them if you want me to give it a try." Rudi Rammler friendly offered, his little black button eyes now sparkling with hardly concealed lust as he moved his paws across the nubile body that so trustingly had been placed in his hands, uhrrrmm paws I mean.

"But, as far as I can tell, you did not bring any tools with you, my furry friend – so shall I have to wait until you go and get them to discover if I too have hidden treasures?" Easter disappointedly asked. She had to admit that the bunny's furry caresses were making her tingle all over in a most pleasant way – it felt even better than the warm summer wind playing in her hair, she thought, or better than the tingle she felt after a bath in a clear cold mountain stream. But Rudi immediately reassured her that he was well equipped for such a treasure hunt – if she would give him a hand at getting his tool he would be ready to go in just a moment.

NO – she is NOT going to give him head. She doesn't even know what is happening and since they have been talking about tasting fruit and crisp veggies I am not too sure that a blowjob would turn out the way Rudi would prefer, to be honest – she might take the "taste / take a bite"- scenario too literally for his good.

Easter of course eagerly agreed and asked what she was supposed to do to help. The wily rabbit instructed her to let her hand just run down over his soft belly and that she soon would find his digging stick there. Easter did as she had been told, and to her surprise she soon touched a massive root that she hadn't been aware off as the furry cute bunny had approached her earlier. Upon the size of the big hard rod though, …

Do you get it now? This is why my bunny had to be a hunk of a bunny – otherwise a good-sized prick would have been too ridiculous, don't you think? Anyway….

Upon the size of the big hard rod though, Easter felt a little insecure as to what the furry seducer intended to do with it. While her little fingers closed tight around the smooth shaft and gently stroked it up and down and up and down to measure its size and get a feel of this velvety yet unbending object, she timidly asked: "And what purpose does this serve, my furry friend?"

"You see, little innocent Easter," randy Rudi explained, "the most delicious roots and bulbs are growing underneath the ground – and usually they are hiding underneath the bushes so that only the attentive eye will find them. But to harvest those delicacies you need to open the ground underneath the bush and search for the treat Mother Nature has been hiding there. Now look down again carefully, my fair maiden, and you will see that you too are growing a bush on your curvy little mountain atop the valley between your legs – and if I am not totally mistaken, this is where your treasures lay hidden." With these words Rudi Rammler had slowly started to slide his furry paw into the bush and then further down between the virgin nether lips of sweet innocent Easter. Without being aware of it, the nubile maiden spread her legs and an audible gasp testified that indeed there must be some more secrets to be discovered she had never known were hers.

Easter's hands became more and more restless as her excitement about those new sensations grew – and it didn't take long before one hand was busy pumping the rabbit's tool while the other was exploring his balls. With childlike curiosity Easter asked: "And what are these, my furry friend? What do you need those for?"

Rudi froze, what a precarious moment for his further plans! But his fast wit once again helped him to find an "explanation". "You know, those are the eggs I am carrying around with me. I need to find a save place, a warm comfortable nest, where I can hide them so that they won't be disturbed as they grow and finally hedge. … Now that you mention it my sweetest maiden, I think right there in the soft folds under your bush would be a perfect place! And you wouldn't deny this little favour to a friend, now, would you?"

Meanwhile Easter was a captive of the multitude of sensations the rabbit's paw was creating as he continuously stimulated her virgin valley under the soft golden curls – and how could she in this state deny anything to a friend who made her feel so good? And so her moan was one of agreement as she closed her eyes again and surrendered to the waves of pleasure that washed over her body.

"Well – if that is what you want," the wily wabbit, errrr rabbit whispered, "I will start the digging then. I will search for your treasure first, my dear – just bear with the slight discomfort I may have to cause you, since I need to open the ground a little. But I promise, you will be rewarded, my fair maiden!"

And so the ruthless seducer positioned himself over the innocent maiden and robbed her virginity on a warm spring day on the moss and herbs at the sacred well in the birch grove.

Easter was more than happy with the results of the treasure hunt, this was proclaimed by her melodious moaning that enriched the warm spring air with a symphony of pure lust and carnal yet childlike innocent pleasure – Rudi Rammler, needless to say, was an expert digger for that kind of riches.

When Easter recovered from the throes of pleasure though she saw that the rabbit's digging tool had almost disappeared, but the sack with the eggs was still dangling between his legs. She blushed and said: "My friend – why didn't you hide your eggs in the nest you so expertly have prepared?" And clever Rudi answered: "You see – I would need to dig some more to make enough room for the eggs to be comfortable – why don't you come back tomorrow and I will do some more digging? As you can tell, right now I have used up my tool …" And with a delighted smile Easter immediately agreed.

No – this isn't IT yet. What did you expect? And they fucked happily ever after? No, no – it isn't THAT easy, there always has to be a moral to those kinds of stories and so far, what would it be? Just tell a silly enough story and you can lay the maiden? Nope - that wasn't what this little tale is about … just wait and see!

After the rabbit had made Easter promise she would return the next day he kissed her good-bye and disappeared in the forest. Easter though donned her dress again and with a dreamy smile and a treacherous glow on her cheeks she returned to her parent's castle.

Alas – when she left the birch grove and crossed one of the rich, colourful meadows, one of the refused painters saw her – and his ambition as well as his …

No, not his cock was roused – well maybe too but that was not the point!

… - and his ambition as well as his curiosity was roused. He followed the princess' traces back and soon found her riffled bed of moss and herbs. Since he was a clever young man it didn't take him long to figure out that some kind of erotic tête-à-tête had most likely taken place, and he decided to be back the next day, hoping he would catch a glance of the princess and her mysterious lover.

The next afternoon Easter and Rudi met again – and again they tremendously enjoyed the "hiding of the eggs under the bush", unaware of the hidden watcher who was banning the whole scene onto his canvas.

No – there is not going to be a blowjob in this story … wasn't it enough already? Seducing the virgin and popping her cherry, then fucking her just for the fun of it with someone watching and taking pictures? Oh – and not to forget, we are talking about beastiality or whatever it is called when you do the naughty with an animal. Sorry, but this has to suffice!

When Easter was about to leave the castle the next day again, her father, the king, called her into the hall. Something was different, Easter thought, but she wasn't aware of anything she had done wrong and so entered the room with a big happy smile. When her mother asked where she was going, she answered, "To play with the rabbit in the glade" without blushing.

The king and queen though were looking less than happy, and when Easter innocently asked what was wrong, her father pulled the cover from the picture the painter had delivered at the palace earlier in the day. In a booming, thundering voice he asked his daughter what she had to say in her defence, but poor little Easter didn't understand at all what she had done wrong. She told her parents the story about the poor rabbit that hadn't yet found a nest where to lay his eggs till they hatched and that she only had meant to help her furry friend – and her parents had to accept that her daughter doubtlessly was a true blonde, falling for that crap, but couldn't be held responsible under the given circumstances.

Alas, the king had to do something about this incident since it would be too embarrassing if that story was spread across the kingdom and, even worse, beyond its borders, and so he ordered Rudi Rammler to the palace to see what he had to say. Poor Rudi though knew exactly that there was not much use in denying when he saw the picture of evidence and all he could do was beg for mercy.

The King was tempted to have Rudi's head – or other body parts – on a spike to be a warning for all seducers to take advantage of the innocent and blonde, urhhh simple, but then he would have had to explain … so he decided that from now on rabbits should be unable to talk to the fair maidens (or anyone else so that they couldn't spread the word of that unfortunate incident), that they should shrink to a size that would never be endangering the fair maidens' respectability again, and in an afterthought he added that specially Rudi Rammler should be deprived of having a name and should not be seen at all anymore – and since he was a mighty king, his word became reality.

In a giant poof of smoke the wily rabbit turned, for the lack of an own name, into the Easter Bunny.

Yup – this is it now. Oh wait – the painter was married to Easter so that he would shut up and not tell anyone about what he had witnessed – and after all that wasn't too bad a deal, even seeing that the bride wasn't a virgin anymore.

Oh and of course there is a lesson to be learned from this story too …

Now you know why until this day the Easter Bunny preferably hides his eggs in the bush, but is never caught at doing so.