Peter Priper Ch 10

Lily and Violet were standing over a naked man. He lay on the ground, battered and bruised, covering his crotch. He was also staring up Violet's skirt, and smiling at what he saw.

Lily was drinking from a bottle of Gatorade, and Violet was finishing a can of beer. "You're not going to hydrate properly drinking that stuff," said Lily.

"I know," said Violet. "I'm just going to piss it all out. That's the point."

"Oh, I'm sorry," said the man on the ground. "Were we pissing you off? Get it? You're pissing on people, and I said-"

Lily gave him a savage kick in the side.

"For the last time, Henry," said Violet, "shut the fuck up." She bent over and reached into a cooler for another can-and now I could see her pussy, that skirt was so delightfully short.

"What are we going to do with all these Spadists?" said Lily.

"Right now, the main priority is to torture them into giving up their confederates. I am getting some very useful information. Afterward, I don't know."

"Ooh, hey," said Henry. "I bet you have an embarrassment of snitches. Get it?"

Lily kicked him in the ribs. He moaned and rolled over, and she hoofed him in the solar plexus. He turned over again, so his back was to her. "Look at me," he wheezed. "I'm on a roll. Get it? On a roll?" Lily embedded her toe in his kidney.

"Enough," said Violet. "Just fucking leave, Henry. The inquisition doesn't want you."

"So," he gasped, "you're not going to piss on me. You're telling me to piss off? G-"

Violet clenched her fists, half-crushing the beer in her hand. Froth sprayed over Henry. "Out!" she screamed.

Lily took off her belt and started whipping Henry with it. "Go! Now!"

He crawled across the clearing to the road. "Looks"-he gasped as she hit him-"like-you're-ow God that hurts-beating-me-off."

Lily screamed with rage, and turned the belt around, and started whipping him with the buckle.

"Please, stop." He huddled on the ground. He sounded like he was crying. "I give up."

"About motherfucking time," said Lily.

"Yep. You beat me. Get it?" And Henry leapt to his feet and sprinted away as fast as he could.

Violet shuddered. She tried drinking her beer, but the crumpled can dribbled over her. She sighed and threw it against a tree. "I'm going to go find somebody with an adult sense of humour, and I'm going to punch them. Hey, we caught another priper. You should have a go at him."

Lily smiled. "You can go first."

"Nah, I'm good," said Violet. "It's way more fun when Millie's there. Anyway, I'll see you in a bit."

She went off into the trees. Lily glared after her. "Fucking dyke," she muttered. "Fucking sissy Heart carpetmunching dyke." She crossed her arms. "Too good to rape guys with me any more."

I moved very slowly into the clearing, trying to be quiet. Lily glanced over in my direction, and saw nothing. Because I can apparently go invisible. I haven't figured out exactly how it works yet-it seems to just sort of happen when I need it to. On the whole, it is not a suitable tradeoff for having a gigantic erection all the time. Said erection was so stiff it was pointing upward, like it was about to shout It's a bird! It's a plane! It's semen! This uncomfortable state of affairs was because I'd been brought to the verge of coming three times now. Two of those times were by Lily. Who had no idea I was there.

Oh, good fun.

A group of two boys and a girl came into the field. They were Clubs, I guessed. The girl had a lacy bra poking out from under her top, and the boys were both wearing Adidas shirts. Soccer clothing seemed to be fashionable in that suit.

"Hey," said one of the boys, "we heard there was something going on here."

"Like a show or something," said the girl.

"Sort of like a show," said Lily. I was right behind her, and she had no idea. "More like I'm about to seriously fuck you up."

She reached up into the air, stretching her arms. The Clubs watched her, unsure whether to run or not. And I grabbed her top and yanked it upward. Lily squealed and covered herself.

"Sweet," said one of the Club boys.

"Wardrobe malfunction!" said Lily. I grabbed her shorts and pulled them down. She screamed again. "Don't you look at me!"

"Like I'm going to miss any of this," one of the boys laughed.

She struggled with her shorts, but I was still hanging on to the waist. "I will fucking flay you alive if you don't leave right now!"

The boy took out his phone.

"I will stick my fist so far up your ass I will rip out your tonsils!" screamed Lily. I let go of her shorts. She yanked them up, and as she did, I got hold of her sportsbra and starting pulling it over her head. She fell over, ass in the air. She grabbed at her top, so I yanked on her shorts again. She flailed furiously, her shorts around her ankles.

Both boys were filming now. Lily cringed and covered herself. She'd let go of her shorts, so I wiggled them off her legs and threw them across the field.

"That is one hell of a wardrobe malfunction," said the Club girl.

"I'll kill you!" said Lily between gritted teeth. "And this little cat costume too!" She tried to stand up and run. But she had her legs pressed together, and her hands covering her breasts and crotch, and she was trying to back away so they wouldn't see her ass. And I was right behind her.

She tripped over me and we went down. My cock slipped right between her legs. She clamped her thighs together and started struggling. She looked down, horrified. As far as she could tell, I guess, she was hovering six inches off the ground.

"I told you there was a show here," said the Club girl.

"It's like some kind of sexy Exorcist," said one of the boys.

"Don't you dare call this sexy!" said Lily. I grabbed her arms and pulled them away from her chest. She squealed and struggled, squeezing my cock between her legs. As she writhed she was pushing up and down on it. It felt good.

She yanked her hands away from me and reached down between her legs. She cupped the head of my cock in her palm. "What is this?"

Like I said, it felt good. And that was when I finally came. Jizz spurted all over her, and kept spurting, like she was on fire and I was trying to put it out. Sperm sprayed on her belly, and shot across her tits. A glob even hit her in the eye.

Lily just lay there and cringed. I slid out from under her. She lay there on the grass, naked except for shoes and cat ears and a sportsbra pulled up to her neck, and covered in semen. And the boys just kept on filming.

"Where'd you buy those clothes?" said the Club girl. "Because I am not shopping there."

#

Trudy lay on the blond boy. She wriggled, sliding up and down, trying to work her hands or feet free. It had no effect. Or more specifically, it had no effect on the cuffs. She could feel the boy's cock swell.

"You're Trudy Mulheimer, aren't you?" the boy said. "You were in my accounting class. Financial Reports, remember?"

"I remember the class, sure, but I forget your name."

"We never talked or anything. I used to sit behind you. I'm Cedric."

She started wriggling again. Still no effect except for making his dick harder. It pushed up between her legs, so that every time she tried to pull her feet out of the rope she was rubbing his cock with her thighs.

"My buddies and I spent that whole class staring at you. Good thing you dropped out, because I would have gotten killed on that final exam. I couldn't remember anything from the first month of that course except what outfit you wore every day. Sorry, is that creepy? That must be creepy. This is definitely not the right time to say something like that. Sorry. Also sorry about the, um, woody." He swallowed. "Oh, God, I'm naked and a beautiful girl is lying on me and I have a woody and I'm babbling. This is so embarrassing."

Trudy stopped trying to get out, though she kept rubbing herself against him gently. Not just for fun. She had an escape plan. It was crazy but it just might work. "First, if I'm lying naked on top of a man and he doesn't have an erection, I'm going to call 911 because he must be dead. Second, I didn't drop out. I finished the textbook about a month into the class and talked the prof into letting me write the final exam early."

"So you are an accountant?"

"I'm not quite done my CPA, but yes, I am."

For a moment, Cedric didn't speak. His penis, however, was stiffening. "You're really an accountant? I wouldn't think a girl as beautiful as you would, you know, do that."

Trudy sighed. "It's not exactly the sexiest job."

"I, um, actually am finding this really sexy. I was totally in love with you for like a month, and then you disappeared, and I thought, 'well, looks like she was too hot for accounting after all.' Jesus. You really are one of us."

"I never tell anyone," said Trudy. "They just laugh. Then there's my friend Retta. She got all confused and asked why I had to go to school to learn to count. I said, no, you idiot, I'm a financial specialist. And she patted me on the shoulder and said her aunts were especially fine too."

"People hate us," said Cedric. "The King of Diamonds sent me to audit the preppers, who haven't submitted a proper budget in years. Well, the preppers don't like being audited. The preppers would rather falsely accuse me of being a Spadist and have me killed." He started to rub her back, slowly, careful not to scrape her with his handcuffs.

"Your suit has budgets?" said Trudy. "The Queen of Hearts' 'books' are a bunch of receipts under her bed. Not even in a box under her bed. She just wads them up and throws them under there. Our whole operation is a disaster. It took a miracle just to keep us solvent."

His shaft was between her legs and rubbing against her pussy lips. His fingers reached the edge of her ass but hesitated.

"What do the Hearts live off of?" Cedric asked. "From what I've heard, you have next to no income and gigantic outlays. It sounds like the fiscal equivalent of a slasher film."

"I can't tell you where our money comes from."

"I'll tell you embarrassing details about my suit. Hell if I care. We're both going to die. For instance. This was set up right before I started working for the King, but we have the most aggressive tax-avoidance scheme I've ever seen."

Trudy smiled. "You were impressed with it?"

"Oh, yes. It's a tweaked version of the double Irish with a Dutch sandwich. We stay in the red for tax purposes by paying IP royalties through a Dutch intermediary to a dummy corporation in Ireland, and then transferring them to another dummy in TCI. It's so clever."

She pulled herself off him just enough that she could rub her nipples against his chest. She was getting very wet. "Cedric, touch my ass." He ran his hands down it. She nuzzled his neck.

"Are you getting turned on?" he asked. "By tax avoidance schemes? Pinch me, I'm dreaming."

She nipped at his neck with her teeth instead, and giggled. "Nobody appreciates what I do," said Trudy. "I saved my suit from bankruptcy and no one even said thank you, because they couldn't be bothered to listen to me explain it. Nobody ever told me my Dutch sandwich was beautiful before."

"You set up a Dutch sandwich for the Hearts?"

Trudy laughed. She knew she was risking everything, but she didn't care. She was probably going to die anyway. She might have exaggerated her credentials a few times, but only because people would be so disappointed to know the truth, know what her vocation really was-because ever since she was a child she knew who Trudy Mulheimer was, and that was not just a Heart, and not just a pretty girl, and not even just an accountant. Trudy Mulheimer was a really fucking good accountant. An accounting genius. A veritable Houdini of accounting.

With emphasis on the making things disappear.

"I set up your Dutch sandwich," said Trudy. "It's not actually a tax avoidance scheme. Your money goes offshore and then is repatriated through another shell into the Queen of Hearts' checking account. And that is how the Hearts stay out of bankruptcy."

Cedric froze, except for one hand that was exploring her buttock. "You set up a chain of shell companies across the world so that you could steal from us?"

"Yep."

"But how-"

"Forged the King of Diamonds' electronic signature."

"No, I mean, how-"

"Hacked into his online banking system and his email."

"How-"

"His password is D1am0nd$, for fuck's sake."

"That's a strong password!" said Cedric. "It has a capital letter, a number, and a special character."

"So strong I only got it on my second try."

"Oh, God," said Cedric. "You're a genius. How can you be this hot and also pull off something like that? You are an identity-theft money-laundering goddess."

She arched her back and pulled up her hips.

"Take me now!" she ordered him. "Claim my body like an eligible deduction. Use me like I'm carried over from a previous year."

He slid inside her. "Oh, God," he gasped. "Your loophole is so tight."

"Your deductible is huge," she replied.

She bobbed on top of him, and he thrust from underneath.

"Harder," she moaned. "Fuck me hard, like you're Apple and I'm the US corporate tax code."

He pounded her, as best he could given that they were chained together.

"I'm about to explode," he gasped, "like Enron's fraudulent bookkeeping."

"Come inside me," she replied, her chest heaving, "like I'm Jersey and you're changing domicile to reduce your overall liability."

Her orgasm flooded over her, and a few seconds later he clenched his thighs and spurted into her.

Spent, they collapsed. Like the market for asset-based investment paper after Lehman Brothers' bankruptcy.

And Trudy stuck up her head and said, "Oh, dammit. You weren't supposed to come inside me."

"I wasn't?"

"I forgot to tell you. You were supposed to pull out and shoot up in the air so that the cum arced over and landed on your wrists and lubricated them enough that you could slip your hands out of the cuffs. This was my plan for getting us out."

"I can't really aim like that," said Cedric. "Also, that might be a little bit ridiculous."

"Well, we'll just have to try it again. What's your expected erectile latency?"

"My what?"

"How. Long. Till. Dick. Hard. Again."

"With you on top of me? Maybe-six minutes?"

She smiled. "I like a man who's precise."