News Release:
Spanish Fly Virus
© 2020, West-Coast Governor's Back-Patting Association, USA
History:
During the mid-1950s to mid-1960s, a rumor circulated in many US high schools concerning a 'homeopathic' treatment (as these sorts of things are referred to by people who don't like the pharmaceutical industry) of which a single drop (containing terpenoid cantharidin derived from the source organism, a green blister beatle), administered appropriately would turn any female human into a raging sex maniac. It affected only females age 18 to age 60.
This concoction—or the formula for it—was said to have originated near the US/Mexico border where it was used to convert staunch virgins into prostitutes who loved sex more than anything else. These converted females where then imported into the USA and used as trade goods in US commerce, for as long as their beauty and bodies lasted. (Once expended, the remaining body materials were buried, cremated, or converted to dog food.)
This active mixture of ground-up blister beatle parts (lytta vesicatoria) and other chemicals was called
Spanish Fly
, and if administered improperly, was said to be extremely poisonous. More than a single drop of the solution ingested centrally into an average human body reportedly caused certain death. For accidental application or overdose there was no antidote.
Fast Forward 50 Years:
In mid-2020, another import of medical significance found its way from Mexico into the US. It is believed the US President's southern border wall was erected too short and too late to stop the advancing infection threatening from south of the border, such that the virus jumped the wall, and from its green, blister beatle source, infected numerous domestic dogs and house cats, a few wolves and coyotes, herds of feral cats, several breeds of saddle horses, one breed of parakeet, and wild 'house mice' native to US Cascade Mountain and coastal regions.
Like other recent viruses (regular cold, annual flu, corona virus, etc), the incubation period for this new virus is but a matter of days, but what made it particularly difficult to diagnose was that infected male humans, either during incubation or later, showed no symptoms whatsoever. Similarly, females showed no symptoms, except uncontrollable sex drive and significantly increased aptitude for sexual position experimentation, ease of rising to orgasm, and speed of recovery after orgasm.
As a result of these symptoms, evidenced only in infected females (never under age 18 or over age 60), this viral strain was named the Spanish Fly Virus by the media.
US Opinion Maker
reporter, Jacob Guess, first applied this name to the current infection, based upon the Spanish
Flu,
so named for the 1918 infection that sickened 500 million world wide, killed an estimated 20 to 50 million world wide, and killed 675,000 in the US.
Neither the Spanish Flu virus nor the Spanish Fly virus originated in Spain, according to best sources. But conversely, it is believed the Spanish Fly virus originated in northern Mexico, but due to geographic limitations of the organism, no detectable infections occurred. Or it may, however, have originated in South-Western USA or China, where numerous infections now occur daily. The dictatorial government of China continues to deny infections spreading in certain geographic areas under its control. However, numerous credible reports leaking out of China suggest otherwise.
Typical Infection Cases (USA):
Case Number: 002231AK-ab23
Date of Diagnosis:
12/28/1999
Region of Diagnosis:
NorthWest Coast, USA
Age of patient:
19
Sex of Patient
: Female
Patient ethnicity:
N-European (Blonde)
Description of Symptoms:
Patient suffered severe and continuous itching on virginal and vaginal tissues. Patient suffering from sleep deprivation, vaginal membrane degradation and insatiable sex drive.
Duration of symptoms: 6 days prior to diagnosis.
Summary and diagnosis
: Case Number 002231AK-ab23
Patient suffering from mild Spanish Fly viral infection on virginal, vaginal tissues, rubbed raw, patient apparently suffering sleep deprivation
