Authors Note: I was flying somewhere recently and the thought struck me that the way all these airport security checks are going, soon we'll all be stripping naked to get on planes. Well, that led to other thoughts which led to this bit of satire.
Kelly stood in the airport security line, fidgeting. She didn't mind flying, but she hadn't done it in years and the new security regulations made her nervous. She kept catching herself toying with the hem of her skirt and glancing at her fellow passengers, while trying not to look at the checkpoint ahead.
"First time?" the woman in line behind her asked suddenly.
Kelly jumped, "No... I mean, yes. I mean..."
"It's alright, dear," the woman had the neatly dressed look of a junior executive, in a conservative skirt and neat blouse. Her sport coat was already off, draped over her arm, and she held a briefcase negligently in one hand. Kelly remembered hearing that the new regulations meant that most business travelers were women.
"Don't worry," the business woman added, "you'll be fine. They're professionals."
"I know," Kelly said, trying to settle her nerves, "but it's all just so..."
"Intrusive," the business woman agreed. "but it is the price of security."
Kelly just nodded. She understood the importance of the new regulations after all. She remembered the frightening incidents that had led to them, and the reasoned arguments behind the most controversial of the measures. Still she was glad to see the business woman, obviously a seasoned traveler, being so relaxed.
Maybe, Kelly thought, it wouldn't be so bad. The business woman was right. The security agents were professionals. There was nothing to worry about.
The line of travelers moved ahead slowly.
Glancing at her watch, Kelly started to fidget again, suddenly more worried about making her flight than the intrusive security screening ahead. She silently berated herself for not getting to the airport sooner. She had known the new security checks took more time but, what with one last minute thing after another, she had gotten to the airport later than the recommended time.
So worried about making her flight, Kelly was actually surprised to find herself standing at the first check point. The travelers ahead of her, she realized, had already put their personal belongings on the conveyor and were heading through the scanner.
A stern-looking security agent placed a tray in front of her and nodded at it.
Kelly set her purse and carry-on bag in the tub, followed quickly by her watch, shoes, tablet and belt. Then, blushing, she hesitated. The stern agent stared, which only made her blush more.
"It's all right dear," the business woman behind her said. "Remember, it's nothing personal. They're professionals."
Kelly glanced at the woman and couldn't help but gasp. The business woman had already placed most of her carry-ons and small items on the tray, and was in the process of adding her blouse to the pile. The woman's heavy breasts swung free as she bent over, deftly shucking off her neat, professional skirt. Without so much as a blink, the seasoned traveler dropped her last article of clothing on the tray and stood, completely naked in the airport security line.
Her face burning, Kelly looked away and started to fumble with the buttons of her own blouse. She quickly stripped off her top and dropped it onto the tray. Her fingers shook as she reached back to undo the clasp of her bra. She found, to the security agent's obvious annoyance, that she couldn't manage it.
"Here, let me help you," said the business woman behind her. "You'll find it's really easier not to bother to wear underthings when you fly. Just a word of advice."
Kelly shook her head, feeling foolish. Of course the travel advisories she had read had said the same thing, but in her rush out the door she had simply but the bra and panties on out of habit.
The business woman lightly tossed Kelly's bra onto the pile. Before Kelly could move to thank her, the woman knelt and with a single practiced gesture, pulled off Kelly's skirt and panties.
Kelly gasped and moved reflexively to cover her sudden nudity.
The business woman turned back from adding the last of Kelly's things to her pile and smiled.
"Well," she said, "at least you remembered to shave. I know a girl who nearly missed her flight because the agents had to shave her first."
"Yes," Kelly stammered. It had been the first and only time she had completely shaved her pubic hair, but the security regulations where very clear about the necessity. "I did read the notices, I just..."
"It's alright dear," the business woman smiled. "You'll know better next time. Well, you're up next. Try to relax, dear, and remember it's not personal. They are professionals."
"Thanks," Kelly said, nodding as she stepped up to the scanner.
Another stern agent stood, at the large security scanner.
"Please stand in the center," the agent directly her, "with your feet apart and your hands on your head."
Nervous and more than a little cold, Kelly did as she was told. The slow electric eyes of the scanner surveyed every inch of her naked body while the stern agent looked on.
"Ok," the agent said when it had finished, "step out and move to the open cubicle on the right."
Kelly stepped to the open cubicle. Another agent stepped in behind her.
"Please stand there," he indicated the pad in the center of the room, "with your feet apart and hands on your head, just like before."
Kelly nodded nervously, shaking.
