My Name Is Dick

My name is Dick and I'm a penis, but I prefer to be called a cock. There are hundreds of other words for me, and please feel free to use any of them, anything but penis. Whoever dreamed up that word must have been a wimp. I'm a tough, cocky little guy, so the word "cock" suits me perfectly.

My boss's name is Larry and he is married to Laura. I like Boss just fine, even though he has given me thousands of beatings during my lifetime. He and I have been through a lot together.

I can't see very well because I have only one eye, but I can see well enough to know that I'm a handsome fellow. I have a sleek, tapered head, a short neck, and a long, smooth shaft. When I stand at attention, I am nine inches tall, which makes me a lot taller than most cocks. I have lost count of the times other cocks have asked, "What's the weather like up there?". I just laugh it off because I know that tall cocks are much more popular than short ones.

My closest friends are the Ball brothers, Lefty and Righty, who hang out underneath me. Their distance from me depends a lot on the temperature. When it's a frosty winter day, they curl up right underneath me and we snuggle up together. It's very cozy. When it's hot, they move closer to Asshole. Needless to say, they prefer cold weather.

Asshole lives on the other side of the Ball brothers. Nobody likes Asshole. Believe me, it is no fun living near an asshole, especially after Boss has had Mexican food for lunch. Sometimes I wish Asshole would move to another neighborhood, but I guess we are stuck with him. I'm not going to tell you what his job is, but if you have an asshole of your own, you probably already know. I think that's enough said about a very distasteful subject.

The other member of our little family is Prostate (we call him Tate), a recluse who lives inside Boss between the Ball brothers and Asshole. Tate seems like a nice guy. He's a hard worker, I'll say that much for him. His job is to make this creamy white stuff called spunk to send to the Ball brothers for storage. You could say that the Ball brothers are like a Shipping and Receiving Department. They receive the spunk from Tate and store it until they ship it to me.

Now let me tell you a little bit about my life. When Boss was a young man, he beat me two or three times a day. The beatings always ended with me ordering a load of spunk from the Ball brothers. The spunk always went straight through me like crap through a goose. If Boss didn't have a rag ready, it usually made a big, gooey mess. But that wasn't my problem. My job was to deliver, and I never failed. Boss did the aiming, of course, so any messes were his fault.

After years of beatings, I finally got to play with a pussy. My first pussy playmate lived between the legs of a hooker. She sure was cute, and I had a lot of fun with her. She was nice and slippery and she gave me a lot of warm hugs. I had only been playing with her for about a minute when I signaled the Ball brothers to make an express delivery. You should have heard Boss holler when his first load of spunk went into something other than his fist.

A few days later, Boss was hollering even louder, and I was sick as a dog. I thought I was going to die! Whenever I had to perform my other function of making water, the only thing that kept me from screaming was the fact that I don't have a mouth. I knew Pussy had made me sick and I never wanted to see that bitch again. Boss went to the doctor and got something called penicillin injected into his ass. A couple of days later, we were both as good as new. Boss had learned his lesson, though, and before he stuck me into any more pussies, he always put a raincoat on me. They call those things condoms, and they completely cover me from head to base. I was terrified the first time he put one on me because I thought I would suffocate, but I managed to hold my breath until my mission was accomplished.

Boss also had another alternative to condoms called blow jobs. The first time he put me into a hooker's mouth, I thought I was going to die. I thought that bitch was going to eat me! Imagine having all those sharp teeth above you and below you. Hell, you'd be scared, too! It only took a few minutes for me to realize that she wasn't going to eat me, then I really began to enjoy it. Her tongue and lips were soft and warm. I was afraid I was going to drown in all that spit, but I just held my breath and got through it. The experience would have been a lot more enjoyable if she hadn't had onions for lunch. I really was faced with a dilemma because Boss had never had a blow job before and I didn't know if I was supposed to order a load from the Ball brothers. Well, they had been complaining for days about having the blues, so they went ahead and shipped the order without my permission. I was looking right down her throat when it shot out. The next thing I knew, I was vomiting all over those things called tits. Boss really got cussed out by that hooker because he hadn't paid extra to shoot in her mouth. The only way he could shut her up was by giving her more money. I think Boss learned an important lesson from that experience.

Back in those days, the Ball brothers were always complaining about having the blues. I finally figured out that Tate was shipping them more spunk than they had room for. Those poor fellows got all bloated and achy. Boss usually solved the problem by giving me a hard beating, but sometimes when he and I were asleep, those sneaky brothers would ship a load without permission. I hated waking up in a gooey mess, and so did Boss. "NOT ANOTHER FUCKING WET DREAM!" he would rant. Either way, the Ball brothers always said they felt much better.

After years of beatings and occasional playtimes with slut and hooker pussies, Boss met Laura, and my life changed forever. Knowing that I would soon get to play with a brand new pussy had me standing at attention all through the wedding ceremony. Poor Boss ordered me to soften up, but I just ignored him. Back in those days, he had very little control over me. In fact, I did most of his thinking for him.

Well, Boss and Laura went on something called a honeymoon, and it is a miracle that I survived. The first day was wonderful. I liked little Laura from the first time Boss stuck my head into her. She was really cute and gave me nice, hard hugs. It was the first time in a very long time that I had played with a pussy without having one of those scary condoms on me. It felt so good!

The second day wasn't as much fun as the first. Boss pushed me to the limit, and whenever I was too tired to play with little Laura, he gave me a beating. I shuddered with fear whenever big Laura shouted, "STICK THAT DICK IN ME!" The first two days weren't too bad, but the third day was a killer. By then, the Ball brothers and Tate were starting to complain. The Ball brothers had run out of spunk, and Tate couldn't keep up with the demand. Boss and Laura beat the daylights out of me but I just couldn't stand up straight. I was greatly relieved to hear the whir of big Laura's vibrator. While I recovered, she had to be content with the vibrator and Boss's tongue. It was the first time I had let Boss down.

Another shocking thing happened during the honeymoon. Boss began to plead with Laura to let him stick me up her ass-hole. I was always relieved when Laura refused. I was really shocked to learn that cocks could be inserted into ass-holes. I had lived just down the street from Asshole my entire life, and if Laura's ass-hole was anything like him, I didn't want anything to do with it. Even though Laura refused, I lived in constant fear that someday Boss would shove me up an ass.

After the honeymoon, Boss let up on me a little. I got to play with little Laura every day, which suited me just fine. She sure was cute, and had a good sense of humor. She told me that Boss and Laura were trying to make a baby. That's when I found out what my true purpose was. Little Laura explained to me that the spunk was the seed that made babies. I really felt like a dumbass! After delivering thousands of loads of spunk, I finally knew what that stuff was for.

Well, Boss and Laura wanted a baby real bad, so they came up with a plan. I overheard them talking about scheduling their fucking for the time of the month when Laura was laying her eggs. My life became a living Hell! For two and sometimes three days out of the month, those two nearly killed me. The Ball brothers hated it, too. Boss wouldn't beat me for three of four days until the Brothers had a serious case of the blues, then he would shove me into little Laura and keep me there until I delivered every drop of spunk. I was a nervous wreck by the time it was over, and so were the Brothers and Tate.

One day, Boss took me to a scary place to have his spunk tested. Believe me, I was absolutely terrified. Boss went into a small room and gave me a beating while he looked at pictures of naked women. He didn't stop beating me until I shot the spunk into a paper cup. It turned out that Boss's spunk was low-grade stuff. With very little prospect of making a baby, Boss and Laura practically stopped fucking. I hardly ever got to play with little Laura, and Boss beat me a lot.

Eventually, Boss and Laura stopped fucking altogether. I sure missed little Laura and all of the other pussies I had played with. Boss kept trying to persuade Laura into doing something called "swinging". Laura always refused. I couldn't imagine why. Swinging seemed like a harmless enough activity. Millions of children do it everyday in thousands of playgrounds. Boss persisted and Laura finally agreed. That's when I found out what swinging really was.

One evening, Boss and Laura entertained another couple. I soon began to suspect that Boss's guests were there for more than friendly conversation. I began to perk up when they started talking about sex. Keep in mind that I can't see a damn thing when I'm inside Boss's pants, but I can hear just fine. That other gal sounded really hot, and before long I was standing at attention. Then I heard Boss's zipper coming down, and as soon as his fly was open, I jumped out and got my first look at his new girlfriend. She was even hotter than Laura. She grabbed me with her wet, slippery mouth and began to suck me better than anyone had. How I had missed those lovely blow jobs. She did something to me that no one had ever done before. She swallowed my head! It scared the crap out of me at first! To make matters even worse, her lips were so tight around my base that I thought she would strangle me. Boss sure seemed to like it, though. I could hear him shouting, "YEAH, BABY, GIVE ME MORE OF THAT DEEP THROAT!" What a relief it was to get back into her mouth. It wasn't long before I ordered the Ball brothers to make an express shipment, and she swallowed every tasty drop. A little later, they took me to the bedroom and let me play with her pussy. Joy!

I had the time of my life after Boss and Laura got into swinging. I was one very happy cock. Every week I got to play with a new pussy or take a bath in a nice, warm mouth. Then one night when Boss was fucking a new woman, I got the scare of my life. Remember how I told you of my intense dislike for my neighbor, Asshole, and my fear that someday Boss might try to stick me into an ass? Boss suddenly pulled me out of the pussy and pushed me lower.

Then I heard those terrible words, "Stick it in my ass, baby." I really freaked out. I tried to go soft, but I couldn't. All I could do was close my eye, hold my breath, and hope for the best. Her ass-hole was so tight that I thought I would get brain damage. Boss pushed hard and my head popped inside. The next thing I knew, my entire body was inside that woman's ass. Boss began to slide me in and out, and I soon realized that fucking ass felt even better than fucking pussy. It was nice and snug up and down the whole length of me. I felt like cheering when Boss began to pump in and out. I told the Ball brothers to stand by as Boss got up to full speed. When I couldn't hold back any longer, I signaled the Brothers and they opened the floodgates. Boss tried to keep fucking and I did my best to stay at attention, but I was too exhausted to continue.

Well, Boss and Laura are still swinging and I'm having the time of my life. Now Boss is talking about trying a few things with men, and Laura is encouraging him. I'm not sure how I feel about that. To be honest, I'm not really keen on the idea. If he does try things with a man, I might just refuse to come to attention. Well, Boss wants to give me another beating, so I have to stop for now. I'll let you know what happens.