Yesterday, I received a letter from my longtime friend Eukan Jacquekov. I have deleted the parts addressed to me personally, but am now sharing with you the last several pages in which he relates a recent adventure he had in Brisbane, Australia. He wrote:
"Until I met my friend Hisacun (pronounced He's a cun), I thought I was the only man cursed with a name that encompasses a double entendre that makes men guffaw, and makes women blush and giggle. If anything, Hisacun's name is more erotically suggestive than mine is. His full name is Hisacun Teater. You can imagine how it sounds when pronounced quickly and the final consonant of Hisacun is elided into the 'T' of Teater.
"I have to admire Hisacun, however. He has turned his name to his advantage. Let me explain.
"He, like I, is a lecher verging on being a satyr. Were he a woman, he would be considered a nymphomaniac. As a result of his all but insatiable need for carnal coupling, he has become a gigolo -- a highly successful one, too, I must add.
"Hisacun, despite his now advancing age, is a handsome, well-built man. In his youth he was a bodybuilder and a surfer, and as such developed a sculpted body of the kind that makes women go weak kneed and breathless when they see him nude, or nearly so. He no longer surfs, but he still goes to the gym every day to work out and keep his body almost as handsome as it was when he was in his twenties. Also, he like I, is a naturist, thus he is uniformly tanned over his entire body. As for his face; well, let me say only that were he to stand next to Clark Gable of Hollywood fame, Mr. Gable's handsome face would look plain next to Hisacun's. Only his graying, and somewhat thinning hair betrays his age and even that betrayal is not severe because when dressed in a business suit, as is his custom when he's on the prowl, it gives him the appearance of a distinguished and successful business man.
"As I mentioned, Hisacun is a gigolo. He took up that avocation after retiring from his import-export business some ten years ago. When he was in that business, he traveled the world buying artwork, jewelry, gemstones, fine antiques, and other items that he sold through his own retail stores, or to others to sell through their stores. In the process, he amassed several million dollars and can now live in luxury without having to work. However, he is still a vital and somewhat restless man. He cannot abide having nothing to keep him enjoyably busy.
"During his years as an import-export merchant, Hisacun's world travels allowed him to meet women of virtually every nationality and ethnicity, as well as women of every socio-economic stratum. He met these women as a natural part of his work. They were sellers, or buyers, of his merchandise. Because of the nature of the business, prices were never fixed and had to be negotiated. As an astute business man, Hisacun made it a practice to buy at the lowest possible price, and to sell at the highest. This meant long negotiating sessions during which the two parties would make offers and counter offers until they could agree at a value both considered fair. With men, this often took place in either the seller's office, or in Hisacun's office, and occasionally at a restaurant or men's club. With women, Hisacun always tried to have these bargaining sessions take place at an expensive restaurant, or other establishment that distracted the client's attention from price negotiations and allowed Hisacun to subtly seduce the woman into accepting him as her lover for the night. By his own admission, he bedded more than five hundred women over the course of a twenty-five year career. Some of them were poor, poorly educated, but talented artisans who were taken by his suave ways and handsome appearance, and by the opportunity to sell their art wares for a highly satisfactory price. Others were jaded business women who were as skilled at haggling over prices as was Hisacun, and often were as horny as he. All of them were, according to him, attractive, if not beautiful women, and all possessed highly developed libidos.
"Hisacun had no difficulty turning his back on his import-export business. It had become so routine that it no longer challenged him. He could, however, not so easily withdraw from the social life and world travels he had become accustomed to. Moreover, he found that he still needed the intellectual stimulation of negotiating a deal -- or more precisely, he needed the challenge of negotiating with a desirable woman with the goal of getting her to give her self to him. It was this that led him to market himself.
"He entered into his new enterprise with both aplomb and gusto.
"One of the tools of any business person is a business card. Just any plain-Jane card will not do. It has to be one that is eye-catching, which is memorable, and which leaves no doubt about what the presenter is offering. If this can be done tastefully, and with a degree of humor, all the better. Knowing this, Hisacun designed a business card to give to the ladies with whom he wanted to connect.
"Certain limitations of the program I am using to send this letter to you do not permit me to show you Hisacun's card, but I will attempt to describe it graphically enough that you will be able to visualize it. The photo was shot from above and shows a man's hands spreading a woman's buttock cheeks so that he can perform cunnilingus from below. The lower portion of his face, especially his nose, mouth, and extended tongue are visible. However, the picture has been rendered as an embossed image so that it is entirely in grey scale. Here is the text:
Hisacun Teater
Providing Discriminating Women
With the Unique Personal Service,
they want and need.
Discretion Guaranteed
Ask for an appointment now
"Note that the words on the card do not jump out, but blend somewhat into the background image. The image itself, while explicitly showing cunnilingus does so in a way that makes it necessary to look at it carefully to see what it shows. The card is suggestive, but not blatantly an offer, or request, for sex. Hisacun tells me that few of the women he gives his card to are offended by it, and that while fewer than twenty percent ask for his service, he gets a satisfyingly large number of positive responses. Rarely is a woman so offended that she either slaps him, or reports him to the authorities.
"Recently I had the pleasure of watching Hisacun in action. More than that, I had the good fortune to participate in the action. Let me explain.
***
"Hisacun and I had booked passage Brisbane, Australia to visit one of his former business associates, a Chinese gentleman who dealt in the folk art of the Australian Aborigines, and with whom Hisacun had established an enduring friendship.
"Although Mr. Wu invited Hisacun and me to stay in his home during our visit, we declined the offer as politely as we could, and checked into one of Brisbane's fine hotels.
"Hisacun told me that it was frequented by a number of women in the import-export business, and that he knew from past experience that a number of them were open to sexual dalliances with men whom they found attractive, and whom they felt would not endanger them in any way. He had bedded a couple of them on past occasions, and hoped to do so again on this trip.
