The cool night air caressed my bare skin while Brianna's heat sank into my bones. We were both naked. I was lying on my back on a blanket. My girlfriend of three months was crouched over me, skin to skin, her long brown hair like feathers on my face, her face inches from mine, her breath hot on my dermis. Other than our steady breathing, the only sound came from the crickets whose field we were in.
Several beers and an hour of kissing and heavy petting had led to this moment. Smooching my sweetie in the darkened corner of a nearly deserted bar, I divulged that I had never made love outside. A wild gleam twinkled in Brianna's eyes. My girl declared she would that night introduce me to the pleasures of making love under the stars. A silly grin spread across my face. We paid for the beers and left. Twenty minutes later we spotted a sufficiently secluded spot out in the country, a meadow fringed by trees. We parked the car and spread a blanket in the middle of the field.
We resumed our earlier carnal intimacies. Once our clothes were off Brianna pushed me onto my back. "I am going to rock your world," she murmured. Her promise sent sparks flying up and down my spine. Knowing Brianna, I was in for some earth-shaking sex.
After Brianna lowered herself onto my manhood her hips began rolling, slowly at first and then picking up steam, rolling harder and faster until she was crying out in the night as an orgasm spasmed through her, shaking her violently. Gotta love a multi-orgasmic woman. She shook so hard it felt as if even the ground was moving. "Wow, that was some orgasm," I said. "The earth is still shaking."
Brianna's body went rigid. "That's not me! It's an earthquake!" she screamed. She collapsed on top of me and clung tightly as if I was some kind of anchor. I clung tightly to her and hoped the earth did not split open and swallow us. I knew Oregon was due for an earthquake of biblical proportions, but I did not want to die just yet. And then the wind blew hard and harder.
"Oh, God," I groaned. Just what we needed—a tornado.
When powerful lights began shining down on us I knew it was not an earthquake or tornado we were experiencing. Well, hell, someone spotted us fucking in the field and called the cops, I reasoned. But why send in a chopper? Unless we were trespassing on a secret federal site or something. Fear chilled me to the bone as I pictured angry federal agents whisking Brianna and me to some remote location for interrogation and God knows what.
As I looked more closely at the flying vessel that was descending I saw that it was no helicopter. It was a flying saucer! Complete with powerful whirring lights! And, boy, it got hot all of a sudden! Although I was now more scared than ever, a part of me thought, How corny. I mean, a flying saucer? Did I fuck my way into a '50's B-movie?
After the saucer landed these thin pale beings with big eyes—no, not supermodels—walked down a metal gangplank and came toward us. "Oh, shit," Brianna and I said in unison. We had heard about alien abductions, never believing they were real.
The aliens dragged us back into the ship. Desperate not to be cornholed with a ten-inch speculum, I promised to take them to my leader. Better George Dubya than me. "He is one of us," I heard one of their voices drone in my brain. Figures.
Once we were inside the ship and the door had closed with a clank behind us, Brian and I were tossed into a bare stainless steel room (I would later dub it the "Fucking Room") with windows at the top. It reminded me of an operating theater. Oh, my God, I thought, my pulse quickening even more. I had heard about the sexual experiments aliens performed on abductees. I tried to get up but some sort of invisible force pulled me down onto my back on the cold metal floor, and then splayed my limbs roughly to the side, making me a human X. Pinned like a moth on an entomologist's corkboard, I felt panic and anger rise up in me like steam in a kettle. "Hey, you alien pig-fuckers, let me go!" I yelled. Looking up at the windows I saw one alien nod to another. Suddenly my jaws clamped shut, my tongue stuck to the roof of my mouth.
I glanced over at Brianna. She was pinned down, too. We were puppets; the aliens were the puppeteers from hell. Her eyes were wide with terror. Despite my non-vocal status, I tried to reassure her that I was still with her. "Mmmm mmmmmm mmmmm mmmm!" I said.
"What? What?" she asked.
Before I could answer her, the same force that pinned us down raised Brianna up into the air until she was hovering a few feet above me. Suddenly I felt my manhood stiffen. What the hell? As you might imagine, I was about as horny as a dead fish. The aliens were playing with my physiology.
