Defining Qualities of LezBromeo and other LezBros:
'Has a PLAN if a zombie or other apocalypse occurs. Shares this plan in detail. Because well, you need to know.' ANNND He has a 'signature look' that signals there is danger and 'we're going out blazing.' This way you know to suit up, because you don't want to miss the action!
'Takes you out for shots when you're crying over a girl, then supplies the grocery bag later' ;) because he planned ahead. And of course, he has dental floss and mouth wash because he knows you're obsessed with oral hygiene.
'Takes you out drinking ... just to drink ... because well duhhhhh!'
Smokes Cigars with you... shhhhhhhh ~ but doesn't tell another woman this, unless he hears from a guy that said girl is attracted to cigars.
Always carries a lighter (even when you're not smoking - because he knows if another girl is, and you want to light her cigarette, there is a lighter available that doesn't have to sit in your pocket or purse). Yesssss, you can put your hands in your empty pockets and just chill because your purse walks beside you.
Not afraid to buy sanitary or other supplies, and listens in great detail when you're trying to explain the packaging. 'wings?' 'no wings?' Hey - it's confusing for us too, ladies, and sometimes we don't want to get out of bed to do it.
HUGs the other LezBros, because face it, even though one of us has tits, we're all brothers.
And yeah, we talk about girls. Like 99% of the time. 40% occupation and entrepreneurship. 10% sports and 1% we can't remember. Because we are always at 150%! That's right foos!
Lets you give his phone number to men, so he can reject them for you. Because honestly, it's tiring explaining what a Lesbian is.
A LezBro always takes fashion advice. Because how else are you supposed to pitch him to women, if you can't tell them his beard is rabbit-soft? This is a hetero single man, and you are just as much his wingman as he is ours. "Have you touched his beard? It feels like rabbit!" -- It works, she won't forget. ;)
Is not afraid to offer fashion advice. You've got a date, he knows it. It's apparent on your face! The Windsor Knot looks awesome, but maybe you should wear the thin leather suspenders? Does this V-back halter top look too slutty? On a scale of 1-10, how badly does she want to rip my clothes off? Whom better than a LezBro to tell you?!
A LezBro is willing to take his top off and do a titty dance in a crowd full of women, so that his Lesbian can spot the other lesbians.
When you walk out of a bathroom with toilet paper kissing your heel, he dives in and slyly slips it away while you're flirting with the Hostess.
He tips the bartender well, knowing that this is a chick you're going to be flirting with for years.