How To Write Funny

How to Write Funny

Using Improvisation to Write Jokes. Stories and Scripts

Do you kid around with your friends or relatives and make each other laugh? If the answer is yes, you could start writing down the good stuff and editing it into funny articles, stand up routines, comic books, ebooks, paper and ink books, phone books... whatever.

A few comedy principles:

1. "Comedy is tragedy plus time." -- Mark Twain

I try to turn bad events into comedy as quickly as possible.

2. Mind Pong -- Interactive comedy improv

Say something. Let your friend piggyback on it. Go back and

forth. Ping those mind pongs as long as you like.

3. Solo Mind Pong, play two or more parts yourself.

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This piece was written by playing Solo Mind Pong.

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Ahhhhhhhhhh. Mimi is enjoying her chocolate cake to the last crumb and sipping her cranberry juice like it's fine wine.

"OMG, Rinaldo. This cake is so good!"

"Tell me something I don't know."

"Okay. What's the difference between porn and erotica?"

"I don't know. What?"

"Lighting."

Rinaldo laughs. "Good one. Add good writing and beautiful ecstatic intertwined bodies, and I think you have a winner."

"You mean a weiner."

"You're right. A weiner and a bun."

"With the good kind of mustard. Stoneground,"

"Hey! Where's the joke? That's not funny."

"There wasn't any joke, Sometimes I throw in something boring for the hell of it."

"Sometimes?"

"Oh. Burn."

"Burn, baby, burn."

"So, what do you want to do this evening?"

""How about more of what we did during the day?"

"Sure, but where and how?"

"I have no idea."

"Damn! Why do I have to do all the work?"

"Cuz you can. You're good at it."

"That's just from practice. You could get good at it too."

"But I don't need to cuz you are."

"Sexist pig!"

"Fucking bitch!"

"Lazy son of a bitch!"

"Daughter of a zombie and a dildo!"

"Son of a piece of shit and a partridge."

"Partridge?"

"A partridge in a pear tree."

"That's stupid."

"Really?"

"Yeah. Really, really stupid."

"So?"

"We were on a roll of funny and you had to waste all that good work and throw in something stupid."

"Stupid?"

"Yeah (sings)

And then I go and spoil it all

By saying something stupid

Like a partridge."

"Yeah, stupid and boring."

(sung)

Reprise

"Stupid and boring, like a partridge."

"Oh. You mean like almost every word out of your mouth?"

"Really?"

" Yeah. Really."

"Really? Stupid and boring?"

"Why are you even writing this?"

"I wanted to see if people would read one of my posts even if it has no sex in it."

"Well, maybe they need a break from all that masturbation."

"But masturbation is why Literotica exists!"

"Yeah? Tell me something I don't know."

"Okay. Peanut butter is good for you. That is, if it's organic."

"I already knew that,"

'Well, that's all I had off the top of my head. So let me ask you the same thing. Can you tell me something I don't already know?"

"How do I know what you know and what you don't know."

"You don't, so you'll just have to try something and see if it works."

"Okay. Why is pi called pi?"

"Like in math?"

"Yeah."

"I have no idea."

"Good. I'll tell you. Pi is the Latin name of the 16th Greek letter."

"Great. So what does that have to do with anything?"

"Prepare to get schooled. Mathematical notation borrows from a multitude of alphabets and typefaces."

"OMG, would you get to the point?"

"Okay. The first recorded use of the Greek symbol for pi was by the Welsh mathematician William Jones in a book he wrote in 1706. He abbreviated the Greek word for circumference to its first letter which is pi. Ta-dah!"

"How do you remember this stuff?"

"Exercise, good diet, lots of sex and I actually read books."

"Golly, Mr. Wizard. I'm impressed. Can I suck your cock?"

"Sure. If you let me cum in your mouth."

"Okay, boss."

"Just okay?"

"Yup. You can be the whipped cream on my Boston Cream Pie."

"That's the wrong kind of pie."

"It's the right one for me."

"Okay."

"Okay?"

"Okay, let's count up all our okays and call it a night."

"No goodnight sex?"

"Nope. I don't have the time and you don't have the dime."

"So what am I supposed to do?"

"That's up to you. Maybe you could "do" one of the nurses."

"Good idea."

"I mean one of the male nurses, you faggot."

"Who you calling a faggot?"

"The man sitting next to me who is a faggot."

"I'm not a faggot."

"No?"

"No. I'm Gay-American."

"Finally, you WASP, you White Anglo Saxon Pervert. You finally have something to hyphenate about.

"Gay-American,"

"Yeah, bro."

"Thank you."

"You're welcome. Say Goodnight, Gracie."

"Good night. CB"

"CB?"

"Crazy Bitch"

"Now we're Crazy Bitch and Gay American. We should start a radio show.

"Good idea!"

"Thank you and good night.

[To be continued]