I was late as I hurried into George's Barber Shop just before six. The front shop was empty, so I called out as I sat in the chair.
"Have you still got time to give me a shave George?"
I always go to George for a shave. He's a master. Some days, when I have a big meeting I even call in on my way to work. I prefer him to shave me in the evening though. The ritual of hot towels, traditional brush lather and a cut throat razor is incredibly relaxing. I'm not talking about a beard, but my scalp. I've kept my head shaved for 10 years now after taking the Yul Brynner part in an amateur production of 'The King and I'. The woman playing Anna was so turned on by my shiny scalp, she practically jumped me on stage when she saw it. Afterwards I found it had the same effect on many women, so I kept the look.
As I called again, the shop door opened and in walked a black girl - about 30, tight short curls, wearing a flowing Caribbean skirt and a tight t-shirt holding, only just, an amazing pair of big soft breasts. You don't normally see a woman in George's on their own; they usually have children in tow, bringing them in for his magic touch with afro hair.
"Be with you in a mo, honey.'" she said, with a gorgeous Caribbean lilt, as she went through to the back shop. In theory, that's where George does his shaving, but really it's where the old boys hang out and gossip away from their wives and smoke a bit of pot from time to time. She came out again and went to the shop door.
"Do you mind if I lock the shop door? I don't want any more customers tonight".
She locked the door and switched the sign to Closed.
"Come through the back" she said, "if those old boys see the light on, they'll still be banging on the door."
I'd only been in the back shop a couple of times. I'm literally George's only white customer and it can be a bit intimidating in there. As I went through, she switched off the light in the front shop and closed the connecting door.
"I'm Lettice," she said. "Uncle said you would be in. He's not very well so hasn't opened up today, but he knew you were making a special journey so asked me to see to you."
I smiled at the unintended double entendre. She coloured slightly, but carried on. I didn't know black girls could blush like that.
"He's always talking about you," she continued. "He likes the way you put up with all the ribbing."
I first met George years ago when I heard him sing in a pub band and tried to persuade him to join our theatre group. He wouldn't, but we remained friends and then when I needed my head shaving he suggested I call in. I certainly got some ribbing - largely about my inadequate white dick compared to real men. I knew however from my days as a brothel bouncer (yes really!) - paid in freebies - that my equipment was my no means inadequate, so I let it ride over me.
"He shouldn't have bothered to get you out here" I said. "I could have managed this once myself."
"He wouldn't let you do that, honey. He told me about the mess you made the last time you tried it!" She laughed, a deep robust laugh that made her breasts bounce delightfully. "Anyway, I just live upstairs, so it is no bother."
"Yes, but George uses a cut throat razor," I said, just as she leant forward to pick it up from the counter. Her breasts passed across my eye line, close enough to see that she was bra-less, temporarily distracting me.
"Honey" she said, "I've been shaving men with this thing, since I was 11. I shaved Daddy and both Granddaddies. I can shave the fuzz off a peach so you would think it was a plum. Hell, I could shave your plums with it and you would be fine."