"Hell Night, you say?"
"Yes, Father Satan, quite the night of hell."
"That does have a certain ring to it, Abaddon, my son."
"I thought of it!" Abaddon's twin brother Apollyon blurted.
"No matter, my sons. We now have a plan! Of all the holidays on earth, I hate Earth Day the most. A day to celebrate the wonder of life and the planet? What the hell is up with that? Give me Easter and all those pagan rituals. There should be a Hell Night holiday to celebrate sin!"
Satan and his sons went over the plan. The Christian college they hated the most was having an event billed as the Earth Day Virgin Beauty Contest. Only virgin coeds were eligible to enter, of course.
"What exactly do we do with these virgins, Father Satan?" Abaddon asked, looking confused.
"I know it's been awhile since you traveled from hell to earth, my son," Satan replied patiently. "The last time was in the 60's when I sent you and your brother up there to create the concept of 'free love' as I recall."
"I know!" Apollyon exclaimed proudly. "We sacrifice those Christian girl's virginity to Satan!"
"Exactly, my son, and don't use condoms. It's time I became a grandfather, 'eh?"
* * *
"What are you reading, Sarah"
"The Bible, Allison."
Sarah and Allison, juniors at Hymen Christian College, shared a dorm room and were best friends.
"What book of the Bible, Sarah?"
"Revelation. Did you know that fallen angels are coming to earth again to seduce human women? Like they did in the days of Genesis 6?"
"Really?"
"No joke, and I'm going to be ready when they do."
"What, are you wearing a chastity belt?"
"Not exactly. I--"
"Well, take a break," Allison interrupted, "and fill out this form. It's for the Earth Day Virgin Beauty Contest."
"Do we have to wear swimsuits?"
"Yes, but we can wear ones like in the olden days consisting of bloomers, black stocking, and drawers."
"What are you going to do for the talent part, Allison?"
"Oh, I think I'll play the flute."
* * *
Norma Foster, an eighty-year-old virgin professor at Hymen Christian College, was in charge of the Earth Day Virgin Beauty Contest.
"Girls, there are going to be representatives from a modeling agency at the pageant," Norma reported.
"No kidding?" Allison asked, becoming excited. "Maybe I'll get a modeling gig! I need the money for tuition. I'd hate to have to transfer to a state school. They are nothing but whorehouses."
"Yeah, but the frat rats get it for free," Sarah spat sarcastically.
"Now girls, don't be talking like that!" Norma chastised. "The two men from the modeling agency are very nice, and Christian gentlemen they assured me. Why, they have Bible verses memorized, especially the ones pertaining to Satan. Both are tall, dark, and very handsome. I asked them how they got so tan, and they told me it is very hot where they live."
"What are their names?" Allison inquired.
"Ab and Ap," Norma replied.
"Those are strange names," Sarah observed.
"Yes, I think they must be nicknames or something," Norma responded.
* * *
"What are you reading, Abaddon?"
"The Bible, Apollyon."
"What book of the Bible, Abaddon?"
"Deuteronomy. Chapter 22, verses 13-21. Did you know that if a man took a woman for a wife who claimed to be a virgin and was not, they stoned her to death?"
"Really?"
"That's what it says here. Verse 21, 'Then they shall bring out the damsel to the door of her father's house, and the men of her city shall stone her with stones that she die . . .' Now doesn't that just give me an idea, Apollyon."
"What, are we going to do, stone these babes, Abaddon?"
"In a manner of speaking, my brother. Yes, they will be stoned. Just like those hippie chicks way back when."
"I can't wait to fuck them silly and make them bleed. Check out the pics I got of the entrants for the Earth Day Virgin Beauty Contest."