Fuck Mountain

Note: All of this is 100% a joke and only a joke. If you don't like jokes please turn back. Nothing serious is in this story. If you are easily offended then this is not the story for you.

All characters are over the age of 73 1/2. Except for the ones who are just older than 18, which is all of them.

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Weeeee! Weeeee! Weeee!

I'm having so much fun at Fuck Mountain. I've fucked so much here. I've fucked Asian Girls, Black Girls, White Girls and more. Name a race and I've probably fucked it. Except for Aboriginals, not many of those at Fuck Mountain. I think it's because Fuck Mountain's in Colorado, and not Australia.

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Ah man there's a hot blonde. Can I fuck her?

I sure can. And away we fuck.

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It sure was a good fuck. Quite glad I had it.

So much to do at Fuck Mountain. So much to see. Not really though. Mainly we just fuck at Fuck Mountain. But fucking's cool though.

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Ah man there's a hot brunette. Can I fuck her?

No I can't.

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She's just not interested in me. There must be someone else I can fuck. Oh boy it's Susan Sarandon. She and Tim Robbins are broken up. I think I can fuck her.

I can and I do. Fuck Mountain is such a magical place.

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My life's been so good since I came to Fuck Mountain. I've done so much fucking here. I hope I never have to leave.

What's that? I will? In three days? Ah well that's a bit of a bummer but it was better to have gone to Fuck Mountain than to never have Fuck Mountain'd at all.

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I love Fuck Mountain! It's so much better than Not Fuck Mountain. I didn't get fucked at all at Not Fuck Mountain. Getting fucked is so much better than not getting fucked, I can tell you that.

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What's that? That lady I thought was Susan Sarandon was actually my Mom? Oh man, how embarrassing. Guess Thanksgiving's going to be awkward this year... And every year after that.

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I wish I had enough money to go to Fuck Island. That place is an island where you can fuck. Instead I only have enough to go to Fuck Mountain. Don't get me wrong, Fuck Mountain's good and all but it's not an island. See what the difference is?

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Ah man, I just got fucked by a dude, except for it wasn't fucking. I didn't give consent so it was rape. I better go to the authorities about this. Luckily for me, the authorities are very concerned about this. They're doing everything in their power to get to the bottom of this. It almost makes up for getting raped.

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Oh Cool! It's movie night at Fuck Mountain, and the movie's porn. We all gather around to watch the porn, and it's good porn all right. Some second act problems, I feel like the pool boy would've rather cum on the MILF's boobs than her ass. But still, good porn is good porn.

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It's so great to be at Fuck Mountain. I'm so glad I'm here. Everything's great at Fuck Mountain. Except for the serial killers. I don't like those people very much. They've sure been killing a lot of people. They especially like to kill people who fuck. I hope the cops get around to catching all the serial killers after they catch the guy who raped me. That would be nice.

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Hooray! It's meal time at Fuck Mountain. I'm so starved from all this fucking, I'm so happy I get a bite to eat. Oh No! I accidentally fucked my food instead of eaten it. I'm sure out of practice with eating, and it's going to be especially hard to eat my food after I fucked it.

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Remember the time that I got fucked at Fuck Mountain? I sure do. In fact it was just minutes ago, and there was more than one time I got fucked at Fuck Mountain. I wonder which was the best one, the first time? The second time? The third time? Maybe the fourth? What about the Fifth? Six Maybe? Seventh was good. Eighth ehhhh. Nine was a good one. Ten had its moments. God there's just so many to choose from.

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Oh what's this? Fuck Tower just opened up. Awesome! I know I'm having such a good time at Fuck Mountain, but Fuck Tower seems so cool too. It's a tower where you get to fuck. Maybe I'll just go check it out, see how I like it.

Oh No! I fell out of Fuck Tower, and I didn't even get to fuck. Now I'm dead. What a bummer! I thought I was gonna get to fuck but instead I died.

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Man I really shouldn't have gone to Fuck Tower. I should've just stayed at Fuck Mountain, or maybe even have gone to Fuck Coliseum. I might not have died there. I mean, I would have had to fight some people to the death at Fuck Coliseum before I got to fuck, but there's still a chance I would've survived that. I definitely died at Fuck Tower, meaning there was an 100% chance of me dying at Fuck Tower. I know that because I died at Fuck Tower. Or did I? No wait I totally died.

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Now that I'm dead I can't fuck. It's a scientific fact that you can't fuck after death. In fact they've done studies and have conclusive evidence that you can't fuck after death. It's science, what more do you need?

If I had stayed at Fuck Mountain, I would be alive right now and able to fuck. Instead, I'm dead and I can't. I really paid for my hubris on this one, huh?

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Well gang, I guess that's the end of that. I'm dead and it looks like I'm going up to heaven. Oh wait, I'm going to hell. Didn't expect that. Wish I had done some things differently now that I know this is the outcome. But let me leave you with some advice. When you find your Fuck Mountain, cherish it. Don't go off to greener pastures like I did. Otherwise you will die and go to hell.

The End