"How big is yours?"
Joe looked across the office at Angela, his new temp secretary. What was she on about?
"How big is my what?"
"You know. Your thing?"
"I'm sorry. What thing"
"Your willy! How big is it?"
Joe felt his face go red. What a question. Mrs Frobisher, his old secretary would never have been so impolite. Still, girls nowadays were different.
"I can't tell you that!"
"Why ever not?"
"It's private," Joe felt his face burning, but it wasn't just because it was private that he was embarrassed. Any mention of the size of his willy made him embarrassed. He had measured it over and over again and he just couldn't get it bigger than four and a half inches. He had suspected this was on the small size and research on the internet had proved it. It was within normal limits, but only just. Still, within normal limits was average wasn't it?
"Go on, you. You can trust me."
Joe felt somehow to say nothing would be an admission of inadequacy. Size wise that is.
"Average," he said.
Angela sighed. She could see she wasn't going to get much more out of him. She had been thinking of a secretaries' sweepstake on his size. Inside information would have been invaluable, but he wasn't going to tell her anything useful.
Joe fretted about his penis size all evening. He could tell he hadn't been convincing. What a thing to ask your boss! Not that he would ever tell. He'd have been a laughing stock. Still, four and a half inches. If only there was some way he could make it grow.
He opened up his computer. Perhaps there was some treatment. And there it was! In his inbox! The very thing! An email from a Dr Sven.
'Men. Do you feel inadequate? Is your manhood an embarrassment? We at Sven Laboratories have developed the only proven penis enhancement treatment. For further information contact Dr Sven now. All enquiries treated in total confidence.'
Proven treatment! It was just what he was looking for. Sven Laboratories? It sounded Swedish. The Swedes knew about these things. They had enormous ones; he'd seen some of those Swedish movies. He didn't hesitate. 'Dear Dr Sven...," he wrote. He was always formal in emails.
Ping!
'Dr Sven' looked in the inbox and smiled. People were so gullible!
Click.
'Dear Dr Sven,' the email read, 'Could you please send me details of your proven penis enhancement treatment. I would like all correspondence kept strictly confidential.'
The email was saved in the folder marked 'Suckers' and the reply composed.
Ping!
Joe could hardly wait to open the email. This would change his life. No more embarrassment. He would be able to stand in the shower at the gym and show off how big he was. He would be able to boast to Angela! She might even be impressed! She might even...
'Dear Mr J,' the email began, 'thank you for your interest in our exciting new product. I can personally guarantee the effectiveness of this revolutionary treatment. In order to assess you for the most appropriate treatment, which can produce enhancement of up to 50%, you will need to send a payment of £23 to....' And it gave payment instructions.
Joe read with increasing excitement. Only £23, it was an absolute bargain! He read on...
'Unfortunately this type of product attracts certain interest which is not always entirely genuine. For this reason we will require proof of your identity. Can you therefore please email, along with your payment a scanned in copy of a photo ID. Thank you very much for your cooperation."
Joe couldn't wait. Fifty percent enhancement. That would mean he would be six inches or more. Angela would be more than impressed. He dug his credit card and driving licence out of his wallet, scanned them in and sent them off to Dr Sven.
Dr Sven carefully cashed the £23, filed the photo ID and credit card details and sent a reply.
Ping!
Joe opened it up, his heart thumping.
'Dear Mr Johnson, thank you for your initial payment. In order to tailor our product to your exact personal requirements can you please provide me with a close up photograph of your penis so that the exact penis type can be ascertained. This will enable an additional 50% enhancement. Unfortunately some clients have not acted honestly in this respect in the past so we must ask you to hold a card next to your penis showing your full name and address that we can verify against your photo ID. Further instructions will be provided on receipt of your next payment of £47. Yours sincerely, Dr Sven.'
Only £47 for another 50% enhancement. It was almost too good to be true! He quickly wrote out his name and address on a card and took the photo as requested.
Dr Sven looked at the picture and grinned. No wonder he was so keen! The picture was filed under 'Suckers'. It would be needed later. Time for the next turn of the screw.
Ping!
Joe looked at the email. It was even more encouraging.
'Dear Mr J, Thank for the information requested. I am confident that we will be able to produce an enhancement to at least nine inches. Your product is being formulated. For our records, and to demonstrate proof of effectiveness, can you please provide us with a picture of your erect penis with a ruler held next to it so that we have an exact measurement of current size. For quality assurance purposes we need you to be fully identifiable, so the picture should be a full frontal nude showing your face and holding the photo ID already requested. When we receive this and your next payment of £78, we will be in a position to dispatch your individually tailored product.'
It was a steep payment, £78, but Joe didn't hesitate. Nine inches! He imagined himself in Angela's knickers already! No girl could resist that.
He stripped naked, set up the camera, got out the ruler... No need to do anything else. The thought of getting in Angela's knickers had done the trick. He held it against his penis, held his photo ID in the other handand the timer on the camera clicked. A mere £78. It was worth every penny!
Dr Sven nearly punched the air with excitement when the photo arrived. She had bet five inches in the sweepstake but nobody would be likely to go under that so she had as good as won. Angela loved masquerading as Dr Sven. She had thought the name up herself and was particularly proud of it. She tried the little scam everywhere she worked, it was one of the reasons she liked temping, and it was amazing how often those stupid men fell for it. This, however, was the first time she had got such a complete collection of compromising photos and ID's. And the money of course. And that was only the start. Still, there was more fun to be had yet before she started extracting the big sums.
She uploaded the pictures to her blog, her followers would enjoy those, and composed another email.
Ping!
Joe's hand was trembling as he opened up Dr Sven's latest email.
"Dear Mr J, I am pleased to tell you that you have been specially selected for our 'Ultra' product. This is a special product which guarantees not only significant size enhancement, but also significant increase in sensitivity and performance. It is available to you for the additional sum of only £100. We look forward to receiving your instructions.
Joe could hardly believe his luck. Specially selected. Increased sensitivity! Increased performance. He was in Angela's knickers for certain. And wouldn't he enjoy it! He didn't hesitate. One hundred pounds was dispatched.
******************************
Angela took out the large tub of ointment she had bought from the pharmacist. It was labelled 'Fiery Jack' and promised to 'make your skin glow red and hot' wherever it was rubbed on. It was meant to relieve sore muscles, but Angela had felt it would produce a suitable effect masquerading as 'Dr Sven's Patented Penis Enhancing Ointment'. She smiled as she squeezed the contents into an appropriately labelled tin - you could make very convincing labels with the right software. She looked at the tin quizzically, she had better ensure a really dramatic effect. She got a bottle of chilli oil out of her kitchen cupboard and added a few drops, thought for a while, then added a big squirt. With a smile of satisfaction she mixed it in thoroughly, screwed the lid on the tin, parcelled it up and wrote out the address. Then she put in the very special instructions. Tomorrow was going to be an interesting day.
Joe looked at the instructions again. He had to make sure he got it absolutely right.
1. Shave the pubic area. Any remaining hair will adversely affect the potency of the product.
2. Liberally apply Dr Sven's Patented Penis Enhancing Ointment to testicles and penis.
3. For maximum effect allow five minutes for absorption then apply a second time.
4. Rub in vigorously.
He unscrewed the lid of the tin. He would follow the instructions to the letter. He couldn't wait. He absolutely couldn't wait.
Angela looked across at Joe sitting at his desk. She could tell the ointment was working. He was red in the face, sweating profusely and couldn't keep still in his chair. The added chilli oil had been an inspired innovation.
As for poor Joe. Why had he put on that third application! And the fourth! He had been so keen for it to start working quickly. So keen to get in Angela's knickers and now his cock and balls felt on fire. They were so hot he felt they must glow in the dark. He would have to do something? Spray them with cold water. Something!
