This is a humorous take on Santa, please laugh and remember to vote.
Dear Santa,
Last year you screwed me! I am not some cheap little whore. I maybe a blonde bombshell that stands taller than you, but I have a mind and free will. I could have been a model if I wanted to. I could have been anything I wanted to be, if I set my mind to it. Just because I work in the Adult Film Industry does not mean I am bad. Yeah, so what if I have been around the block a few times, that does not mean I am easy, just experienced, and damn good. Maybe you still need a little help in remembering me.
I gave you a blow job to remember and I received nothing in return. This year I expect a little more for my troubles. As far as the presents under the tree, well...the vibrator was good, once
I
bought the batteries. I used it a few times, but truthfully it was too large and sucked a brand new battery dead in ten minutes, pretty sad when someone as experienced as I am finds something too large. I think I need to remind you of what I did for you last year.
You were standing in front of the Christmas Tree and I stopped my little Chihuahuas from ripping your pants off. You seemed thankful at the time. Before I knew what was happening your small, stinky cock was pressed hard into my face. If I remember you said, "Suck it bitch, or I will take your presents with me." I agreed, not for the presents, but for something to brag about later. Well I put that nasty little nub in my mouth. I sucked with so much force I think the neighbors heard you scream.
I licked you up and down; I made you scream my name. That little head of yours, I licked my tongue around it for five minutes straight. That short shaft of yours, do you remember what I did? I sucked the vein from bottom to top. I think your exact words were, "Damn, bitch. You're a great cock-sucking little whore. I'll be back here next year"
When I finally got to licking your balls, your fat ass was sitting on my couch. You could not stand no more. I knelt down in front of you and licked at your balls like I had a snake's tongue. Those quick little flicks nearly sent you over the edge. So, being the dear that I am, I slowed up so
you
could enjoy yourself a little more. I sucked that little nub of yours back into my mouth. I took all of you and it still did not even come close to my throat. You grabbed my long blonde hair and fucked my face hard and fast. When you finally came, the liquid was watery and tasted like salty cookies. It was nasty. Do you remember me, now?
If you want any satisfaction this year, this is what I want. I want you to spread my legs, wide. Take that long tongue of yours—I think I know where your length went—and lick me till I scream. I think you at least owe me that much. I want you to lick me hard, and then plunge your tongue deep into me. I want you to suck my clit, and finger fuck my pussy. If you can make me have a real orgasm, I'll suck your little cock, again.
As far as presents: I have what I need. Thanks any ways.
