I most likely began to lose my hearing about twenty-five years ago, but it didn't change my life style very much. Early in my career I had taught classes in Parenting, and one of the main emphasis of the class was effective listening. I was good at effective listening and I learned to lip-read without any formal training.
A good listener doesn't just hear the words that are being spoken, but watches for other signs that the speaker is sending out. You watch facial expressions, body movement and placement, and just about everything else that the speaker does.
Twenty years ago, however, I had to retire from my job as a non-profit agency executive. I just could not do the job being deaf. Almost immediately I got a job working with the State Department of Corrections. I was put in charge of Prisoner Grievances. My job was to listen to the perceived grievances inmates would have with the DOC and solve their problem. The Warden thought that this was a great job for a deaf man.
Five years ago my wife died of cancer, and two years ago the Governor offered an attractive retirement package that I took advantage of. At my retirement party a friend gave me a lottery ticket as a joke. We split over twenty-six million between us. Since then I don't do much but generally go where the wind blows. Enough of the background, on with the story.
I was just on my way into the drugstore to purchase a newspaper and I held the door open for a woman that wanted to exit.
"Thanks," she said as she stepped through the door. Than as fate would have it she dropped her purse and all her change rolled out on the ground.
We both stooped down to pick the coins up, and I was treated to a view of paradise. She wasn't wearing a brassiere, and with her blouse billowing out I saw every inch of her charms. She had just about the best looking set of tits that I have ever seen. The only problem was that she caught me looking.
"Enjoy the show Mr. Pervert?" She said with a sarcastic look in her eye as we both stood up.
"Well, my name isn't Pervert," I said, "But I did enjoy the show. You really have a set of sexy looking boobs." Than I held out my hand with her coins that I had picked up.
She took the coins and started to walk away but stopped and turned back toward me.
"Thanks," she said flashing me a million-dollar smile. "I'm flattered that you think I'm sexy, and I appreciate you helping me pick up my change. But it really isn't very nice to stare at a girls chest."
With that she was gone. I went in the store and got a paper and headed over to the local coffee shop. I was sitting at a table near the front when ten minutes later this same woman came in. She had another woman with her and as they passed my table I spoke up.
"Ah! The lady with the great bust has returned to my life."
She stopped and looked at me and smiled. "Well, well old Mr. Pervert, you're everywhere today aren't you?" The two of them continued to the back of the shop and took a table.
They were sitting far enough away from all the other people in the store so that no one could hear them. But as a lip reader, I didn't have any problem.
"Who was that you talked with as we came in? Is his name really pervert?"
Laughing my chesty friend replied; "I just met him a few minutes ago. I dropped my coin purse and he helped me pick the money up. I inadvertently gave him a pornographic show in front of the news stand."
"God, that's funny. He's old enough to be your father or grandfather for that matter. I think its funny how old guys like that are always trying to cop a feel or see some part of our autonomy."
"It ain't just the old guys honey, all men are perverts if you ask me. God I'm going to be busy this morning. I've got to go to the library and the feed store and buy a birthday present for Jack."
As I watched them talk, I figured I'd have some fun. I didn't have anything planned for the day so when it looked like they were getting ready to leave I hurriedly paid my bill and headed over to the library.
I was waiting just inside the doors and when she walked up to the front of the building I opened the door for her.
"Well, well, well, if it isn't Ms. Big Boobs."
