Damned Pigs

"Skinny dipping? Are you out of your mind? We're in public in case you haven't noticed. What if someone comes along?"

"It's nearly dark, so what if they do?" My identical twin Mary Helen sat on a convenient root to slip off her Superga chambray sneakers. "All they'll see is a couple of girls in the water. They won't know that we're de-liciously nekkid."

"Ha. And what if they decide to go swimming too?"

"We'll just keep our boobs under the water and outwait them," Mary Helen said unflappably. "Besides which, we'll probably spot anyone coming down the trail in the twilight and as soon as it's dark anyone who does come won't see us. Come on, Sarah Beth. For once in your life get the broomstick out of your butt and let's swim! I'm sweating like a virgin in an Ann Summers novel."

So we compromised. I will explain that whenever I don't want to do something, and Mary Helen does, and we decide to do the thing that Mary Helen wants -- as we always do -- she calls that a compromise. So it was that I found myself treading water quite naked in the sandpit that serves our neighborhood as a convenient swimming hole. At least Mary Helen was right about the twilight. It was fast getting dark and anybody walking by probably wouldn't even notice us.

And the water was so cool and refreshing. What could possibly go wrong?

That's when I noticed something moving on the bank.

"Mary Helen," I hissed. "Someone is trying to steal our clothes!"

She peered into the gloom and suddenly shouted "Hey! Get away from there! Then to me, "It must be some of those bratty boys. I can't believe their parents would let them out so close to dark." She noisily splashed towards shore shouting all the way, not even caring that she wasn't wearing any clothes.

It was then that I saw that those moving shadows weren't human at all.

"They're hogs, Mary Helen! Feral hogs. Watch out! Those things are mean!" I'd heard that they haunted the woods and brush around here but had never actually seen one.

Mary Helen yelled and splashed, trying to scare the swine away but it was no use. The beasts were too absorbed with rooting through our clothes, grunting and squealing as they fought over the tasty tidbits. I sprinted to the bank and bounded out waving my arms and shouting in my dripping birthday suit. That caught their attention. Glittering malevolent eyes fixed me in their glare and the nearest boar tossed his head and stamped. I suddenly remembered the diseases one could get if impaled by a tusk and hastily flopped backwards into the water - not because I was scared of a bunch of damned pigs. It was because I wanted to.

Mary Helen hooted derisively.

Twenty minutes later two buck naked girls, boobs and bottoms gleaming in the fading light, forlornly contemplated the remnants of the porcine feast. The only recognizable scraps were half of Mary Helen's bra, the collar of my University of Houston tee shirt, and two sets of sadly chewed sneakers.

At this point there was a short pause while Mary Helen intensely voiced her opinion of all hogs, feral and otherwise.

"Now that you've had your say," I said after her little tirade was finished, "what are we going to do?"

"Go home, of course, but I think we might want to wait until it's darker. At least we have our sneakers. Sort of." Those Superga's looked more like Supergags now. "We can cross the field easily enough. All we have to do is walk in the grass and no one will hear us, but if anyone's on the path we'll be able to hear them first and hide."

"And after we've crossed the field?" I asked. "It's still six blocks to our house."

"We'll sneak down the street. If we see anyone coming we can hide behind a fence or in some bushes. Nothing could be simpler! Stop worrying. Everything will be fine."

"It had better be," I threatened darkly, "because if it looks like we're about to be caught I'm going to throw you out as a sacrifice and run for it."

I rummaged around until I found a sturdy stick that I could use to fend off deadly creatures lurking in the night and felt ready to go.

The coast was clear. We slipped silently into the meadow from the cover of the thin band of trees surrounding the sandpit. I used my left hand to cover my boobs and my right hand to cup my crotch but the sad poverty of human anatomy left me wanting another hand or so to carry my stick and such. I had to make do. We waddled hunched over, stopping every few steps to "Hst!" and peer around the darkness and listen, afraid that a frat party would suddenly materialize with us in the middle as maids of honor.

Soon we were halfway across and nearing the only stand of saplings in that nearly naked expanse of grass and scrubby bushes. When we were but a few yards away Mary Helen stopped short and I plowed into her from behind. I gently remonstrated by shoving her in the back.

"Shut up!" she hissed, gesturing emphatically. "There's someone in the trees."

In an instant we were flat on our tummies behind a scraggly clump of muhly grass that would not have hidden a bunny but was perfect for a Gila monster. Texas does not have Gila monsters but if we did they would lurk in muhly grass. I am certain of it.

Voices came to us. Voices that I knew.

"Isn't that Emmy Hartman?"  Mary Helen breathed.

"Yes, and Brian Thompson, too." I hissed through gritted teeth.

Why was I annoyed? How about because Brian had been pressing hard to date me and get me into bed, and I was almost ready to accept both propositions. And here he was alone in the meadow at night with Prissy Emmy the Sunday School Princess and her more-virtuous-than-you attitude. Why was she wandering the fields after dark with some random guy, especially one who was supposedly fixated on me? If it wasn't for a little matter of clothes and damned pigs my stick and I would be having a vigorous discussion with Brian and Emmy right about now. I lay behind that ridiculous tuft of grass and seethed.

They were just a few yards away, clearly visible in the waning light, and seemed to be arguing.

"Come on, Emmy," Brian wheedled. "You know I'm good for it. You can't just leave me like this." Right in front of us Brian unzipped, pulled out his package and waggled his hard manhood enthusiastically. I half expected Emmy to squeal and bolt, but no. She took hold of his willy with one hand and started stroking with the other, not that he had all that much to stroke. I hadn't missed much by not sleeping with him, I decided.

What shocked me apart from Emmy, of all people, acting in such a brazen manner is what she did next. She yanked hard on Brian's swollen dick bringing him face-to-face, pecked him on the lips and held out her other hand.

"Money first!" she cooed. "I know you've got it, because you got paid today. No more credit! My tuition is due on Tuesday and it's time for you to pay up."

I was beside myself. The skank! The hypocrite! But Brian was digging out his wallet.

"You know I wouldn't do this if I wasn't desperate," murmured Emmy as she deftly pocketed a wad of bills.

Brian laughed. "Really? Desperate? And here I was thinking that you might do it for free just to mess with Sarah Beth."

"Well, that, too," sniggered Emmy. "I am going to laugh like hell the next time I see her donkey face."

Brian chortled as he pushed Emmy down on the ground.

Damn you, Brian! If you're going to boff her right in front of me couldn't you at least strip bare and move closer to the bushes where you are more hidden to view? That way Mary Helen and I might be able to pinch your clothes, dress, rush home, change, then come back with flashlights as if we were out for our evening stroll. I wonder what we'd find? Oh, yes, I wonder.

But the lazy buttholes didn't take off their clothes. Brian just pushed Emmy to her hands and knees, jerked her shorts and underpants down and knelt behind her to line up his bobbing prick. Then he was banging it in and humping away with a rhythmic "Uh.. uh.. uh.." Mr. Finesse in action.

Under my breath I was stretching my vocabulary to describe the pair of them and I suspect Mary Helen was, too. As it was we were stuck until they finished because Emmy was facing the way that we had to go and somehow I don't think that she was so wrapped up in what Brian was doing that she would overlook two bare-assed women sneaking past.

But it turned out to be a short wait. Brian pumped back and forth while Emmy just crouched there like she was bored. Geez, she wasn't even bothering to hump her hiney to help him out. I'd have to tell her that a career as a call girl was not for her. Not if she wanted a successful career, that is.

After a few moments of frantic activity from Brian he groaned, pushed even deeper into Emmy and then just sort of sagged over her back. She turned and looked at him, decided he was done, got out from under and hitched up her panties without even bothering to sop up the mess.

"All right Brian, get going now. I don't fancy being caught out here with you. My daddy is used to me taking these little evening "strolls" but he'll start to ask questions if he sees us together."

Brian scrambled to his feet and the pair of them took off down the path back to our neighborhood, Emmy sauntering casually as if nothing had happened and Brian strutting along like he was cock-of-the-walk. A very successful rooster, that Brian.

We scuttled along in their wake until we came to the row of houses lining the open field, each surrounded by a six-foot-tall cedar fence. Directly in front of us was Mrs. Vogt's house. The Widow Vogt had been our piano teacher when we were girls but I'm afraid we took advantage of her timidity and mousiness until with uncharacteristic charity toward the abused Mom terminated the arrangement. Anyway, It was our habit to take a short cut over her fence and through her yard instead of following the path a quarter mile to the only gate because there was a pile of pallets by the fence and it was an easy matter to scale them, hop into her yard, sneak out the front gate and walk away undetected. Easy, except for tonight, of course. There's nothing like being naked in public to complicate things.

We vaulted the fence as usual, landing behind a low-growing magnolia, and slipped furtively through the philodendrons to the gate at the side of the house where we squatted and peered through the slats to the street beyond hoping the coast was clear. It was. Mary Helen was just about to lift the latch and dash into the open when the sultry sing-song voice of Mrs. Vogt right above us almost caused me to wet my pants! That is, if I had been wearing any pants. Those damned pigs had left me without any panties to wet through. Anyway, I yelped in surprise as Mary Helen fiercely gesticulated for me to be quiet.

The voice was coming from the open window we were crouched beneath. It must have been Mrs. Vogt's bedroom and she was sort of crooning to someone that we could hear moaning in the dark.

"What would you do for me?"

That's what we'd heard that made us jump. Now her voice carried clearly, seductively, in the still evening.

"When you told me you would do anything for me, did you mean it? Do you truly know what I want?"

A moan.

"How creative and gentle a lover can you be?

Would you trace every curve, every corner, every crevice of my body, with your fingers, your mouth, your lips, your tongue? Would any part of me be off limits, too dark or forbidden to savor and taste?"

Mary Helen and I looked at each other and even in the dark I knew what was in her eye. "No, Mary Helen!" I whispered. "It's wrong to eavesdrop!" But it must have been time for another compromise because two seconds later we were huddled under the window listening raptly as Mrs. Vogt crooned on.

"Would you treat me to an elegant dinner, buy me flowers and candy and sexy lingerie, sweep me off my feet and carry me into the sunset? Would you beg for my attention, worship my body, plead with me to give you release? Would you offer up your cock as a sacrifice for me to do with as I pleased and then growl in frustration as I teased you and licked you and stroked you before finally plunging down on you, taking you deep inside my body? Would you lie still while I sated my need with your throbbing hardness before finally allowing you relief?

Then would you unleash your testosterone, pinning me down and forcing my thighs apart with your knee? Would you snake your fingers through my hair and pull my head back, your teeth nipping my neck, owning me, dominating me; your thick prick pistoning violently in and out of my streaming sheath until with a shudder and scream fill me to overflowing with your spurting spend?"

Oh, God! My heart was racing and my skin was hot. I shifted my crouch and discovered a slippery wetness between my legs. My nubbin was tingling and beginning to ache. Who knew that mousy Mrs. Vogt could be so slutty?

"Would you allow me to dress up like a schoolgirl and innocently prance around giving you glimpses of too-small white cotton knickers scarcely covering my bare pubescent pussy? Could I play the naughty tart who won't stop teasing until you pull me over your knee and give me the spanking that I crave, smacking my exposed bottom until it is red and throbbing, then bend me over the chair and thrust deep inside me again and again while I tremble and gasp and beg you to let me come?

How much would you trust me?

If I met a gorgeous man that I wanted badly, would you let me have him however I wanted? If I asked you to, would you hide in the closet watching from a crack in the door as I ran my lips over his throbbing cock and took him deeply in my mouth? Would you play with yourself while I fondled his balls, caressing his bottom until he cried out and showered my face with his sticky spunk?

Would you join us as we rutted like animals, whispering encouragement in our ears, stroking my breasts, his balls, my clit until our shouts of ecstasy rend the air and we collapse utterly spent in each other's arms?

And what if I didn't want you there? What if I wanted him all to myself? Would you let me go long enough to spend the night with him, letting him do anything he could think of to my body, then meeting me at the front door in the morning with my favorite coffee and beg to hear all about it?"

There were groans and grunts from the man in the room. It was like I was under a spell, hypnotized by her voice.

"And what if the person I wanted was a woman? Would you teach me how to pleasure her, to use my tongue on her most private places? Would you rub yourself like you're doing now, playing the voyeur until I ask you to join in, allowing me to experience the best of both worlds without having to worry about things like jealousy or sharing?

Then would you take me from behind as she licked me and I nibbled her? Would you refrain from touching her in order to please only me, thrusting in rhythm with our tongues until she and I erupt in a frenzy of delight, then silently fade unfulfilled into the shadows until I'm ready for you again?

I started at Mary Helen's grunt. She was brashly rubbing herself right there in Mrs. Vogt's backyard!

"Mary Helen!" I blurted without thinking, and immediately froze. We locked eyes in horror. The voice from the window had stopped.

A man's voice said, "Melinda, I do believe we have an audience."

Well, we didn't wait around to see what might happen next. We dashed to tear open the gate and clawed our way through, bursting head long into Mrs. Vogt's front yard. The living room lights came on and someone was unlocking the front door! As calmly as I could I fled in panic down the street with Mary Helen in tow. A portly male figure appeared on the porch knotting a bathrobe around his waist, followed by Mrs. Vogt in a corset and cone bra Madonna costume.

He bellowed, "Hey, you boys! Stop!" Then aside to Mrs. Vogt, "Melinda, it's two boys, and the little perverts are naked."

"Boys?" Mary Helen seethed. "Boys?"

I knew how she felt. No one was going to mistake me for Kate Perry but I certainly had more up top than Keira Knightly. Enough to bounce as I ran and as close as we were and as naked as we were no way could I be mistaken for a boy. I had half a mind to go back and set him straight.

We were a block away before we slowed to a walk. Mary Helen was convulsed with giggles.

"What's so funny?" I demanded. "We almost got caught back there."

"Didn't you recognize who that was?" Mary Helen laughed. "It was Mr. Thompson -- Brian's father!"

And so it was. I guess the apple didn't fall far from the tree.

This had become a very strange night and it was about to become even stranger. It's funny how a bunch of damned pigs can play havoc with your life.

We were four short blocks from home. That was nothing. At least, it was nothing if you had on, say, a pair of undies. We didn't. And of course the street lights were on our side of the road and I felt horribly visible. Anybody coming down the street would see us in an instant.

"Let's cross and walk along the far side," I suggested. "It's darker and if a car comes we can zip through the nearest gate and hide behind a fence. I don't fancy being spotlighted in someone's headlights."

We crossed the road and darted into the shadows. We were half way down the first block and things were looking good.

And then some idiot decided to go for a walk. The clown stepped into the street at the end of the block and turned in our direction. We could see him silhouetted against the light at the corner. Fortunately we were right next to a house that had a nice high fence so we just eased open the gate and stepped in, closed it shut with a click behind us then crouched and stared through the cracks waiting for the guy to amble past. I was amazed at how scared Mary Helen seemed to be. She was just about panting with fright.

"Calm down," I whispered to her, "You're breathing so hard the man will hear us.

For a moment there was silence except for the panting. Then Mary Helen spoke.

"That's not me," she said nervously. "I thought it was you."

We slowly turned and looked behind us. A huge shape loomed as a darker shadow in the gloom and I turned seven shades of pale.

"Jesus, Mary, and Joseph!" Mary Helen bellowed. I'd never heard her use that one before. We're not even Catholic. "A bear! A freaking bear!"

Along about then that damn bear roared and we pretty near lost it. We squealed and plastered ourselves against the gate, scrabbling to get it open and away from there and hang whoever was in the street.

It took a moment to realize that what we heard was less like a roar and more like a bark. Just one, but it was deep and menacing and then the bear-dog or dog-bear or whatever it was went back to panting at us. We looked at him and he looked at us.

"Is he friendly?" Mary Helen whispered uncertainly. "He's not growling."

"He doesn't have to be mad at us to eat us," I pointed out.

I had just eased my hand over to try and open the gate again when floodlights suddenly snapped on, and there we were, pinned against the fence in the altogether, a monster dog facing us and the intense glare revealing everything that we wanted hidden.

"Who's there?" called a deep gravelly voice from the house. "Earl- fetch!"

So the apparition had a name and now it was emitting a cavernous rumble pregnant with menace. Earl shifted slightly to the side and towards where we were cowering. Faced with teeth as big as daggers and growling that would credit a Hound of Hell Mary Helen and I backed away and found ourselves being herded towards the house, and once we realized that the house was safer than the dog we moved along quite smartly.

Standing at a side door was a gnarled, wrinkled, darkly bearded gnome of a man standing with his hands on his hips and an accusing glare. We stopped in front of him, emblazoned with light, as Earl snarled at our backsides.