Country Girl Visits City Girl

2009 had been a terrible year for me, I didn't get my promotion, my husband left me, and I gained twenty pounds. Well maybe I gained the twenty pounds and then my husband left but that's still no excuse. Therefore, you can imagine I had high hopes for this year but to tell the truth it hasn't been too good so far either. Then I got the bombshell from my mother that her sister wants to send my little cousin to stay with me a while.

My aunt and my cousin Lucy live out in the country, and to say Lucy is naive is like saying democrats like to spend money, you know, an understatement. Mother wanted me to look out for her and the reason well; my dear sweet mother said it best when she said,

"You can take a simple girl out of the country but you can't take the simple out of a country girl."

I told mother it was all right, it's not as if I had a life or anything. I hadn't been with a man since my husband left and even then, he wasn't much of a man. At least instead of sitting home alone, I'd be sitting home alone with my cousin.

I picked Lucy up at the bus station and I couldn't believe how much she'd changed since I saw her last. Oh no, she was still dumb as a fence post but now she was dumb and she had giant knockers. Does god think it's funny to give you brains or tits but not both? When Lucy saw me, she came running up to give me a hug, her double Ds crushing my single Bs, it was like a Hummer rear ending a Hyundai. Of course, she had to rub it in,

"Why Cousin Stacy, aren't you the cutest little things, those boobs of yours never did grow, did they?"

I changed the subject,

"What would you like to do on your first night in the big city?"

"Oh I can't do anything tonight Cousin, I got a date."

Now wait just a damn minute I sit home alone eight nights a week and my loopy cousin has a date as soon as she gets off the bus. Well turns out it was before she got off the bus. She met Enid, (Enid, What kind of a name is Enid) on the bus and I guess they got to know each other real well on the ride to the city. OK so I know I told my mother I'd watch out for Lucy but the girl is twenty years old and if she old enough to pick up some guy on a bus, she is certainly old enough to go out with him. I know, when Lucy told me she was meeting Enid back at the bus station for their date I admit it I did see a little red flag go up and yet I still did nothing.

It was after I dropped her off at the bus station that my rational thought over came my petty jealousy and I realized I let a young naive girl go out with a man she didn't really know. Too late to do anything now so I went home to worry. By midnight, I was ready to call the cops by One I did call them and they laughed at me and said to call back in forty-eight hours.

At two-thirty Lucy came waltzing in with a smile on her lips and a song in her heart.

"Where the hell have you been, I've been worried sick."

Isn't that what my mother always said to me when I came in around this time?

"Oh Cousin, I can't tell you how lucky I am to have met Enid. I found out tonight he's a magic wizard."

Of course, you know I scoffed at this, what else would a sensible person do?

"Oh no, it's true he proved it to me, he even has a magic wand. Don't laugh he showed it to me and I know its magic cause it grew right in my hand. No, it's true, I swear, it looked like a little worm and then he had me hold it and it grew into a rod hard as steel."

Uh oh, "And just where did he keep this magic wand, it wasn't in his pants was it?"

"Why yes, how did you know? But you have to listen, Cousin; he saved my life with it. He had me take off my jeans so his wand could examine me and when he waved it over my, you know my privates down here..."

She indicated her vagina as if I might not understand,

"And when he did that it made me feel weird so I told him and he said his wand would fix me. And this nice man had me lay down in the back seat of his brother's ford and you're not gonna believe this he got that wand of his to go up inside me. I knew it's a workin because I was startin to feel real nice inside there. Now here's the sad part I think I broke his wand cause he kinda grunted like he was in pain and all and then when he pulled his wand outa me it was all wormie looking again. Oh yeah I guess his wand is all full of white sauce cause I had it all up in me when he was done."

OK where could I start and before I could say a word, she says,

"There musta been a lota sauce in that wand cause when it when inside me it was at least ten inches long but when it came out it was only about six."

"Ten inches you say, uum I wonder do you think his brother is single?"