This Episode: A Chance Encounter - Part Two
Masters is the name. Cindy Masters. I'm a detective. I get $50 a day and expenses, $75 if I can get it.
I got to Won Huong-Lo's and ordered a bowl of chop suey. Won was a chubby looking guy with a basket between his legs that resembled a hamster munching on carrot, a sight that made me give thanks for the fact that at least I can pick and choose the contents of my Fruit of the Looms. As I sat there chasing some rice around the plate with my chopsticks, Won came out of the kitchen. A trail of the steamy smell of overcooked chicken followed him.
"Ah, Masters, so nice to have you back in my establishment again," he said with a mouth full of teeth that looked as if they had never learned how to line up in formation.
"Cut the crap, Won, I'm here on business. Your boy over there said that you wouldn't see anyone unless they order a meal. Is this part of your new plan to poison all of San Francisco," I spat.
Won looked at me with disapproval "Pity your attitude there my boi, I always though that you were a person of higher quality"
The chop suey began to congeal in front of me. "Look, fat boy, I need some answers. What do you know about certain articles of antiquity being sold on the black-market?"
"Ah, masters, your turn to cut the crap, for surely you mean the Dexterous Dildo of Denmark," he observed.
The thought of the fake phallus and its appeal yielded an almost Pavlovian response of slickness in my y-fronts. "Alright, so that's what I'm looking for, so what do you know?"
"Masters, my boi, have you forgotten that I don't ever know anything without a gratuity," Won replied with a smirk on his face.
"You are one cheap SOB," I shot back as I tossed a twenty at him.
As he held it up to the light, I snorted at his mistrust. "Don't worry, its real!"
"I hope so. Some of the ones I've been getting lately have been about as genuine as those rubber cocks you stuff in your jockstrap or in certain other mysterious places when you play hide the meatless sausage," he stated with a smirk.
I reached over and grabbed him by the neck and his eyes began to pop out like the nipples on a drag queen's false tits. "My cocks and their hiding places are none of your business buster"
Won began choking "Alright, enough. Seems that I just overheard some discussion back in the weight room trying to sell it off to the highest bidder"
"What about a ransom for it?" I queried as I let him back
"Oh it's gone way past that. This dildo is far too hard to hold onto. The culprits want to get rid of it as soon as possible," he pointed out as he gathered his composure.