My name is Hill. My friend's name is Billy. We are striking out to be rapist. We are both seniors and eighteen years old. It seemed a good rite of passage to rape some girls. It's what we do in Bronson County. A Sunday is dead boring here, except for all the raping going on. We walked into Rosie's County Park. That's the best place for raping. It's secluded. It has many young female runners and plenty of bushes to hide. We didn't have much experience. But, you have to start somewhere.
The trail was neatly groomed with sand. Dry grass grew at the sides. Little trees were planted with their supporting stalk. The strings were still in place to tie the tree and supporting stalk together. There was a thick green bush right next to the walking path.
"Billy, we have found our perfect hide out bush. Excellent location and superior leaf coverage."
Billy immediately turned his sneakers toward the bush, when a hand started waving from behind the bush. "No, not here. This bush is taken!"
I was startled. However, this is a popular raping location. So, we had to deal with competitors. All the other bushes came alive as well. "Not here either." "This one is taken as well." There was literally a rapist behind every bush. So, we had to keep walking for quite a bit until we found an unoccupied bush. It was actually a perfect location. It was at the bottom of an indentation. There was a slope going up on either side. So, our prey would be slowed down.
We laid down behind the bush on our belly. Billy pulled his iPod out to listen to music. I got the rapist pack out. The corner store next to the park sold rapist packs. Half the people going in the park were rapists. So, it only made sense to cater to them. The other half was being raped. So, the store sold rape trauma kits right next to the rape kids. The clerk tried to sell me a trauma kit saying that it would be a kind gesture after the rape to hand her a trauma kit. Fucking capitalists! Of course, I saw the upsell and steered clear of it.
So, the rape kit consisted of a black panty hose to wear over the head. There was a yellow no brand condom. And, there was a pamphlet with the rapist credo. I read it out to my partner.
"I am the all-powerful black panther. I lay in hiding for hours to pounce on the unsuspecting prey... Hey, Billy what are you doing?"
Billy was resting on his forearms. His butt was high in the air. And, he was twitching his butt left and right.
"Hill, I'm the black panther. I am pumping my thighs to get ready to pounce. I saw a panther do that in the zoo, before it ran after a mouse."
"Billy, your butt is sticking over the hedge."
Raping was pretty boring. We were sitting in the hot August sun for two hours. Luckily, the rapist kit came with rapist hydration. It seemed like a regular water with minerals and vitamins added. We almost missed our first victim.
She was a girl in gray sweat pants that said "pink." She wore her black hair in a ponytail. She listened to her iPod and was completely unaware of her. She was maybe a little chubby. I was ready to run, when Billy pulled on my sleeve.
"Hey, I ain't going to put my dick, where you put yours. We should figure out, who gets to do her."
"Okay, let's do paper-rock-scissors."
"1-2-3"
We both had paper. So I speculated that he was thinking that I would be too smart to simply pick scissors and pick rock. So, he would pick paper. So, I had to pick scissors. Damn, we both had scissors. This was hard. Next time, I thought ten moves ahead of him and picked rock. He had picked rock again. I guess great minds think alike.
Suddenly, it dawned on me that our victim was getting away. In panic, I ran after her. We jumped her and pinned her to the ground. She was chubby, way chubby, a fat chick. Her t-shirt rolled up her belly. It exposed stretch marks and fat folds. There was a big hairy black mole on her chin.
"Billy, I can't do that. That's just too nasty."
"Hill, that's one gnarly broad. I'm gonna pass as well."
The girl was lying on her back trying to put her legs in the sky and spread them. She was so unflexible that she looked pretty helpless. "Rape me, rape me," she whimpered with a high pitched little piggy voice.
We turned away and walked off. She came after us and tried to pull our pants down. We felt terror in our limbs. We ran. We ran as if our life depended up that hill. She was huffing and puffing behind us, as out of shape as she was. On top of the hill was a turn. An urgent voice whispered to us, "over here, over here. I saw the whole thing. Quickly."
So, the other rapist generously shared his bush with us. It was actually a quiet jovial group of people among the nearby bushes. We quickly started trading comics and music to pass the time. There was a constant hollering of "Who has the Mickey Mouse #56?" and the like.
Meanwhile in the sheriff station, the mayor faced the sole police officer Doobie. The mayor had a suit and tie. Doobie sat with his legs on the police desk.
"Doobie, we can't let reports of the rapes get out. It'll ruin the tourism. You know this county depends on tourism."
"Yes, mayor. I shredded all the rape report."
"Doobie, it's in the newspaper. On the front page, it talks about a rape. You have to confiscate all the county newspapers immediately."
"But, how could I do that?"
"Printing that article is interfering with an ongoing police investigation. That's illegal."
