Resistance is Futile
"Welcome my friends to the holy land." Howard said as they entered the convention hall.
"I must confess it is one of the few things that do stir an emotion. It must be my human half trying to assert itself." Sheldon replied dressed as Spock.
"Four days of science fiction, fantasy and comic bliss." Leonard said who was dressed in the bright red outfit of the Flash.
"Mmmm hmmm," nodded Rajesh Koothrappali dressed as a Norse God.
"Oh, honey. Maybe you should have had a Grasshopper at the bar so you could talk. You knew I was coming." Penny replied.
Leonard got a big grin on his face. "I don't think there are enough grasshoppers in the world that would have helped this time." Leonard said as he looked at Penny's outfit.
"I was meaning to talk to you about that. Why did I dress like a space hooker?" Penny asked as she tugged at her metal bikini.
"While your outfit does leave little to the imagination, you are in fact dressed in a perfect replica of the Princess Leia Slave outfit. Beyond that incestuous kiss with her brother in episode five. Princess Leia is considered by most accounts to be a wholesome individual, as well as an excellent warrior and leader." Sheldon stated as he went off into one of his rants.
Howard made a bow in his Court Jester costume. "Your Highness. I am here to serve at your pleasure, or more correctly for your pleasure. You have but to command me."
"Ok, go away. That would give me pleasure." Penny said with a warning face.
"Howard, quit acting like a fool." Leonard interjected.
"But that is what he is dressed as." Sheldon commented. "I think Howard is playing the part very well, made even more believable by the fact that he does not even have a PHD."
"The court jester, or fool if you will, was popular in European courts from the thirteenth to seventeenth centuries. They had what many today would consider the most free speech. In fact, they could often say things and not get in trouble for it, even in the presence of royalty. The best example of this is in 1340, when the French fleet was destroyed at the Battle of Sluys by the English. Phillippe VI's jester told him the English sailors: "Don't even have the guts to jump into the water like our brave French." Sheldon continued.
"That's really interesting Sheldon." Penny replied sarcastically.
"You think so?" Sheldon asked.
"No, not really," said penny shaking her head.
"I swear I will get the hang of this sarcasm one day." Sheldon said.
"Leonard, can we go to the bar first. I am a little self-conscious about my outfit. I could use a drink or five." Penny said to Leonard as she fidgeted in her costume.
Rajesh, still unable to speak just nodded his head emphatically.
Leonard agreed and the five of them headed off to the bar. Once at the bar Penny and Leonard ordered a Tequila Sunrise. Rajesh ordered a Grasshopper. Howard ordered a Slippery Nipple and Sheldon ordered a virgin diet Cuba Libra.
"Leonard, I'm still anxious." Penny said as she finished off her second drink.
"Howard once again to the rescue," said Howard as he pulled out a small bottle of pills and handed them to Penny.
"What is this?" Penny asked.
"Valium, it's my mother's. I keep some on me incase someone here gets to obnoxious." Howard said looking at Sheldon.
Penny opened the bottle and took two. She handed it back to Howard.
"You took two?" Howard asked.
"Yes, I'm really uncomfortable. Why?" Asked Penny
"Oh nothing, just with the alcohol...I'm sure you'll be fine." Howard commented.
*****
The five of them started off together in the convention hall. After a couple of hours they split off, no longer able to take Sheldon's interesting facts. Rajesh ended up following an Orion Slave girl. Howard was off chasing Wonder Woman. Then after a while Penny and Leonard split off from each other.
Howard ran into Sheldon in front of a comic book stand. He could hear Sheldon arguing with the vendor over who would take the place of Batman if he were to die. An argument Sheldon had had before with many others.
"Go away you nutcase." Said the comic book vendor as Howard approached.
"I swear, for someone who deals in comic books, he has very little knowledge about the subject matter." Sheldon said to Howard.
"Have you seen any of the others?" Howard asked.
"I saw Koothrappali with an Orion salve girl. At least I think it might have been a girl." Sheldon responded.
"Ah, history repeats itself." Howard commented as he remembered the last time Rajesh met an Orion Slave Girl at Comic-Con.
"I also saw Penny doing a very provocative dance for someone dressed up as Darth Vader." Sheldon continued.
"What? Where?" Howard asked with a noticeably increased sense of interest.
"Right behind you," said Sheldon, pointing behind Howard.
Howard turned around and saw Penny doing the sexiest dance he had ever seen. Darth Vader was sitting on a chair in front of a booth and Penny was straddling him with her back to him. She was grinding her ass on his lap with her arms in the air.
"Sheldon, did you try and stop her?" Howard asked.
"Of course I did." Sheldon replied with a slight bit of indignation.
"You did?" Howard asked with clear surprise.
"Yes, I tried to tell her if she was going to dance, she needed to find someone dressed as Jabba the Hutt. Boba Fett would even do in a pinch, but that would not have been a completely accurate representation."
"Come on." Howard said as he pulled Sheldon towards Penny.