Beat Inspired Dirty Story (mf)

Beat Inspired Dirty Story (mf)

By: AnonymousNin

1

I am an ugly guy.

Rather, I am an ugly guy, but I have a thing.

Every guy needs a thing.

My thing is that I have long blonde hair.

My hair does a good job of hiding how ugly I really am.

I have naturally blonde hair so people look over and say: "hey, look at that guy with long blonde hair."

2

I'm really not good with girls either. I don't try enough.

Not trying seems to work.

3: Stacy, My First Love.

Stacy was this Youtuber who no one has ever heard of, and no one ever will. She was good looking, but not good looking enough to be a YouTuber.

There are so many jobs now that you can have as long as you are good looking. Life really fucks ugly people.

Anyways, Stacy was good looking, and grew up with enough confidence to be a YouTuber.

4

Stacy and I first fucked when she had two hundred subscribers.

I remember because we were out at a bar together when she got her two hundredth.

The bar was some stinky hole that was nice for a college town, but shit anywhere else in the world.

I liked it. The bar was named the Black Cat.

Stacy and I had some shit drinks, in some shit bar, but we were too shitty of people to realize it.

After a couple of shitty drinks, Stacy pulled me by my hand to the bathroom.

Stacy and I kissed and touched each other in this gross cesspool.

Now that is a first kiss.

I think Stacy was so excited about her two hundredth subscriber, she didn't mind making out with an ugly guy-- at least I had long blonde hair.

Next thing I know, Stacy slid her hands down my pants, and got on her knees.

If only every girl was like Stacy: Our first kiss, and thirty seconds later her mouth found my cock.

People knocked on the door to the bathroom as Stacy sucked me.

She didn't mind.

5

I think Stacy is famous now. I shit on her for only having two hundred subscribers, but that was four years ago. I think she is hot shit now-- all rich for being sorta good looking.

Meanwhile, I'm shitty looking and broke.

6: Character Development

I am a shitty writer.

Back in college, professors would give me compliments between red ink. It was always something dumb and generic, like: "good sentence."

Whatever the fuck that means.

So I dropped out of school.

Now I just work part time and don't really do a whole lot of much. I have a cheap enough apartment where I don't have to work that often.

And I dont really give a fuck about food, just coffee. And coffee is cheap if you don't give a fuck.

7: My Roommate Sam

I live with this guy named Samuel. He is a cool enough guy, he also has long hair. He is always high. Samuel really doesn't give a fuck.

Samuel is way cooler than me and still a virgin. If only he was more lame, then maybe he would have a girlfriend.

Samuel's parents give him money for rent every month, but he always used that money to buy weed and go skiing. He skis four times a week and the apartment always smells dank. I like it.

I don't think Samuel has a job.

I should know, I live with him.

I wonder how he pays his share of rent.

8: Rebecca

One night I invited a girl named Rebecca over.

Rebecca was an anorexic baker. She just got off to making other girls fat.

Rebecca came over and went on and on about how a girl came into the bakery and ordered three cookies, and then the bitch sat down and ate all three of them herself.

As Rebecca told me this, she ran her hands up and down my leg.

I could feel the sexual heat emanating from her-- as she fat shamed this poor girl.

Rebecca is a crazy bitch with no tits. She turns me on. She has brown hair that barely touches her shoulders. big brown eyes, and always wears all black scary witch shit that no one else wears.

She dresses like the devil if he worked in a bakery. Or some sort of alien vampire from the dark side of some unknown planet who can only feed by making other girls fat.

Rebecca never wears a bra, I don't think she has ever owned one. Her tits are completely flat.

Rebecca compensates for her lack of tittage with nipple piercings that show through every top. No one ever says anything.

I guess it's not offensive because her tits are so small.

Nipple piercings are a thing that sound good in theory, but lack practicality. I always felt like I had to be super gentle with Rebecca's nipples, as to not tear her piercings out.

Maybe that's why she broke up with me, she wanted her nipples squeezed and I just couldn't.

9

Rebecca broke up with me through another man's cock-- or rather-- a series of cock.

I did not mind: I would never ask an eagle to be a pigeon.

Rebecca would come over to my apartment with hickies that I didn't give her.

I didn't care that she slept with other guys; but Rebecca cared.

10

Normally, anorexic girls don't have that much of a sex drive. Rebecca was the opposite. My cock couldn't handle the scully witch.

I am a young man but I feel like an old man: I have no sex drive.

I am fine doing it only two or three times a month. Maybe that's why Rebecca broke up with me.

I hope Rebecca has found herself some athletic gym rat who could really give it to her. She deserves to get fucked like that.

11: More Shitty Development

I wish I was an alcoholic. My life is too shit for me to not be an alcy.

My life is so fucked and yet I am straight all the time. It is just plain sad.

I don't have the balls. If only I had more self confidence, I could drink more and my shitty life might make sense.

Rebecca likes to drink.

My little Satanist only drinks shit with no sugar. She makes these mules with sugar free ginger beer that taste like donkey ass. She drinks like three or four mules and then drives over to my apartment to fuck.

I never have any alcohol at my place so she brings one with her to keep her buzz.

If only I had more gumption in my sex life, Rebecca and I would be a great couple.

12: Kim

I figured out that if you get a job working morning shifts at a gym, you can just get paid to sit at a desk and read.

That's what I do for work. I show up to the gym, read a hundred and fifty pages, and then go home.

Working at a gym isn't bad.

There are lots of women at the gym I work at. It is a real upscale gym. Girls come in on their Lululemon outfits with their boyfriend in matching shorts.

I met this cute asian woman one morning named Kim. She always wears these super tight Gym Shark pants that show off her pussy. No one says anything to her.

Kim is short-- like four eleven short.

Maybe it's some unspoken rule that you are short enough, you can show off your pussy and no one say's anything.

It turns out Kim is a fitness influencer on Insta, or some shit, and makes what I make slaving at the gym in a week, with one picture.

Life's fucked-- Kim asked me out.

13

Four our date, Kim took me to the local high school track to run laps.

I had one or two laps in me.

Kim crushed it in her tight pants that showed off her pussy. I just sat down, pretended to stretch, and watched that pussy run by.

Sweating, Kim and I got into her Subaru. I do not know why, but asian girls always drive Subarus.

Kim drove me home and slowly moved her hand from her stick shift to the inside of my knee.

As we got closer and closer to my house, Kim's hand moved higher and higher-- until Kim found my sex and awkwardly fondled me through my shorts.

We parked and Kim pulled my cock out and began to suck it.

I do not have a big cock, but it looks big with short girls.

I felt really good. I came from just looking at how big my cock looked compared to tiny Kim. I came and then Kim let me leave. Why is it that girls always think they have to suck your cock, sometimes I would just rather kiss.

14

Kim asked me out again to work out. All she wanted to do was work out and suck me off.

Even though I worked.at a gym, I really don't like working out. I like it just because I know I can take.the morning shifts no one wants and read a hundred and fifty pages.

I had never even kissed Kim and here she is again, sweaty, post workout, with her lips around my cock.

15

My relationship with Kim sucking my cock fizzled out fast.

Then I turned twenty four.

16: Emily

When I turned twenty four I decided to mix things up and only hang out with fat chicks.

I met this real porky girl on Tinder, Emily, who perpetually dressed herself as an anime character.

Emily wore this incestous pink makeup, had short pixie style pink hair, and her bedroom was a pink sex dungeon-- with dildos and vibrators and body pillows and all sorts of demented pink shit.

I think Emily made porn on the side too. I was too scared to ask. She probably made more money than me making fat anime chick porn.

Emily was fat but she looked like sex, all flesh bursting from every seam. She was the sexiest girl.

17: Nofap

The internet is a weird place. There are whole communities of guys on the internet united by their goal to never jack off.

I told bodacious Emily that I rarely, if ever, masturbated.

She said that guys were supposed to jack off every day and began to sext me dirty pictures every night so that I could jack off and be normal.

I googled how much I was supposed to jack off, and I found all these guys on the internet trying to not jack off together. It was a little too gay for me.

Maybe Emily was right and I should masturbate more.

All Emily likes to do is watch anime and then have sex with the japanese in the background.

Why is it that every girl I meet has something they seem to get off to: baking, working out, anime-- sex is strange.

Emily molests me when we watch anime. I have to sit on the other end of the couch, and invariably she sprawls out like a beached whale to find my cock.

18

In between watching anime and fucking Emily, I never have time to jerk off. It is sad.

It is the cool guys and beautiful girls who never get laid: no one has the balls-- while the rest of us ugly fucks are off to the races.

Especially if you are not picky. And girls are girls.

19

Emily may be grotesque, but she has the best tasting pussy.

She always tastes like some anime fruit that doesn't really exist-- light, cherry, floral-- like Red Bull or some shit.

Most of the time beautiful girls have rotten pussies.

You have to be very conscious of your looks for your pussy to taste great.

20: Nurse Jennifer

When I was twenty I snuck into a bar with my father.

Dad left me to go talk to some girl and this older lady sat down next to me.

Her name was Jennifer. She was a nurse who had just broken up with her boyfriend.

Nurse Jennifer was twenty nine. When I told her I was twenty she just laughed.

Before I knew it, Jennifer and I were upstairs making out.

21

Like I've said, I'm not good looking. I think I am just approachable-- I'm just barely good looking enough to want to talk to, but not so good looking as to be unapproachable or nerve inducing.

Jennifer and I called an Uber to her friend's apartment where she was sleeping on the couch.

Jennifer and I kissed all the way to her friend's apartment.

When it came time to perform I could not get it up.

So much for being twenty.

22

Nurse Jennifer taught me how to eat pussy.

She showed me her clit and told me to just lick and suck at it-- focus on the clit.

"Don't eat pussy, suck clit," Nurse Jennifer commanded.

23

I gave Jennifer all of my spit and sucked for as long as she wanted.

She seemed to enjoy it.

I really put my face in there. She orgasmed, or at least she put on a good show.

Jennifer was really commanding; she really took charge of the situation-- she must be a good nurse.

24

The next morning, I woke up with a sore nose and face from eating pussy.

Jennifer woke up and had me suck her clit before she went to work.

I went back to my Dad's apartment smelling like old nurse pussy.

Dad didn't say anything.

25: Technology

One night my roommate Samuel showed me hentai on his VR headset.

"This is going to revolutionize the world" he said to me, as I watched a cartoon purple haired girl get dicked down by a giant green tentacle monster.

I watched this monster rape out of politeness, while Samuel give me this long pitch on how this is why I need to buy a VR headset.

I ordered a headset that night.

26

Samuel may be perpetually stoned, but his sense of wonder and amazement of the world accidentally makes him the best salesman.

Too bad Sam is too high to believe in money, he could be quite successful.

27

Later that week my anorexic devil fuckbuddy called me, drunk, and told me she was coming over.

I cleaned the apartment, threw the entire kitchen into the sink-- not that Rebecca cared-- and lit a candle.

Rebecca arrived wearing nothing but black panties and a black Pantera t-shirt that showed off her pierced nipples. She wasn't even wearing shoes.

Rebecca and I laid down on my bed.

Rebecca pulled down her panties and began to ramble on about some bitch who came into the bakery that morning and ate cannolis for two all by herself.

I pushed off fucking to show show Rebecca my newly purchased VR hentai set up.

Rebecca was quite impressed.

I showed her a couple of hentai videos while she touched herself.

After I showed her all the videos I had downloaded, we got to doing the deed.

28

As my Devil's appendage entered Rebecca's wretched snare, Samuel-- on the other side of the wall-- began to play Dark Side out of his giant speakers.

It seemed unethical to ask a stoner to turn Floyd down, and my penis just got inside.

I accepted my fate: Rebecca and I are going to fuck to Speak to Me/ Breathe.

My goal was to not finish until Money.

29

Mid-way, Rebecca pulled me out and grabbed the VR headset.

We resumed fucking.

I didn't mind fucking a girl with no face. I just pumped away and went to work on her neck.

This was the wettest and hottest Rebecca has ever been. She moaned very loudly. Good thing the Dark Side was on.

It was interesting, fucking a girl watching VR tentacle hentai with Pink Floyd in the background. I wonder if the Floyd imagened that this is what their album would used as: the soundtrack to a hentai monster fuck session.

30

The oddity of the whole thing kept me going and Rebecca climaxed thrice.

If only I was a purple tentacle monster, then Rebecca and I would be perfect for each other. But alas, I cannot compete with that beast cock.

I couldn't cum and Rebecca became too sensitive to carry on.

Rebecca had me put the headset on. She stroked me as I got fucked virtually by this big hentai beast.

She went into the kitchen and came back. She resumed stroking me, her hands now warm and oily. It smelled like coconut. I came.

Technology is wonderful.

31: Ski Trip

The next weekend Samuel insisted that I go skiing with him.

We drove up to Brighton. I insisted on driving, and Samuel did bong rips the whole way up. Just normal skier things.

Samuel insisted I do a rip while we were stuck in traffic in the canyon. I thought, 'hey why not, I don't want to be impolite.'

Driving in the snow and bong rips don't go well together. Samuel is the bravest man alive.

We arrived at Brighton without harm. I was amazed at how high I was after one rip. And it was a shitty rip too. Just the knowledge that Samuel must have ten to twenty times more THC in his system caused my palms to sweat, almost inducing a panic attack.

Samuel and I stumbled on the ski lift. I thought about jumping.

My mind settled when we got off the chair lift. My skis touched down on the soft snow.

Everything became alright, the world became a marshmello before my eyes. Everything was so beautiful. I thought I was going to orgasm as we carved down the mountain.

Skiing while high is better than sex. Let's change the state motto to:

Utah: skiing, fucking, and hashish

.

32

Salt Lake City is the most sexed up city in the country.

No one works: just look at Park City on any given Tuesday.

Utah truly is God's state.

Freud would be fascinated with Salt Lake City. Proof positive that the most religious parts of America have the kinkiest citizens. I argue that there are more one night stands per person in Salt Lake City than in any other part of the world.

33

VR hentai really revitalized my sexual relationship with Rebecca.

Now she would come over two or three times a week to watch beast hentai and fuck: The Golden Years.

Rebecca came like crazy in beast land, and I never came in reality.

The fact that Rebecca got off in hentai beast land much more often, and with much more vigor, hurt my feelings.

I've said it before and I'll say it again: my cock just can't compete with that beast cock.

Ultimately, I didn't mind that Rebecca was using me as a VR fuck doll. I was just glad that she seemed happy.

34: On Sex and Life

It was once my sexual encounter number got into the teens that I realized I really didn't give a fuck about sex.

I was depressed.

For a while sex was interesting enough to push off a good deal of depression and life angst. But at a certain point this went away, and all I was left with was blue balls and a sore cock.

I miss being more interested in sex. It seems to be all I write about. Maybe I am a hypocrite.

If only I was a good writer. That would really make my life something. Rather I am stuck as a reader who can't write for shit.

I never read anything modern. It makes me too jealous.

If only I could write, perhaps my life wouldn't be so fucked; my apartment wouldn't be so fucked; my clothes wouldn't be so fucked.

At least I have some looks. It's better to be a seven and broke as fuck than to be a three rolling in money.

Sex truly is the greatest gift to man. Fuck fire. I am rarely suicidal when horny. I am often suicidal when warm.

If there were no sex, all of mankind would simultaneously kill themselves, because what would the point be, then, really.