First, let me say I am NOT a pervert! I am serious, I really am not.
Not one bit of that was my fault.
But things happen sometimes, I guess. So on to my story.
It was just a party, I happened to run into my friend Jerry at the tavern. That was an accident too, I was just down there to shoot some pool and see if there were any girls around.
You know, to talk to and stuff.
Anyway he mentioned they were having a get together at he and his wife Marie's place up by the lake. They had two kids, boys, both of them brats and about 10 or 11 or so. Bunch of noise, running around, shooting at me with water pistols, stuff like that.
Me? I am Dan, everybody calls me Danny. 5' 10", 175 pounds, I check myself out in the mirror and the ladies could do worse.
Plus even though I am not huge and overly muscled, the good Lord did bless me with..well, down there, if you know what I mean.
It's not so huge that it's actually a weapon, like I see on some of those guys when I accidentally end up on a porn site on my computer.
I never actually go to any of those, but it's tough in today's world when a guy just wants to check out the latest beach fashions or maybe brush up on his massage techniques.
One never knows when things like that might come in handy, plus it's nice to look one's best.
Family type parties bore me, I always preferred the beach with cute girls running around.
Since I am getting to the age where I should be thinking of settling down, you know, kids and things like that?
What better place to look than at a beach, I mean, you wouldn't buy a car without looking under the hood, right?
I often see the guys down there, over muscled Ape types wearing those thong type suit bottoms. The only thing missing is the feathers splayed up out of their asses, like the Peacocks we see on the Green channel.
Those thong type suits look funny to me on those huge guys, the material outlining their you know whats.
Mine is black.
Hey, it's the style!
A few times I even managed to get lucky, a few beers and some nice chat works fairly well. Not that I ever go down there to prey on any of the girls, after all, I am not a pervert.
But no, a family party? Not my thing once Jerry told me his brother Mark and his wife Jennifer would be there. Mark was OK but they had money and Jennifer always made sure everyone knew they did.
That kind of drove me nuts, I had been to some of their parties before. I had been to the lake also but that was for fishing, everyone said there were monsters in there but all we ever caught were those stubby tailed planted Rainbows about 8-9 inches long.
The fact that Mark's wife Jennifer nearly always wore those silly looking Wicked Weasel sun bathing outfits didn't even enter into it, I don't pay too much attention to older ladies.
"Oh, come on! My buddy Bob and his two cousins will be there, you will have fun!" Jerry pressed me.
"Two cousins?" I asked.
"Yea, Sandy and Brandy, they are twins. Just wait until you get a load of that pair! Plus Marie's Mom is taking the kids, they can be a bit bratty, you know." He was grinning now.
No shit.
Bratty, like the time they put that foaming denture cleaner in my beer while I was dozing?
Or the time they caught two Chipmunks and stuffed them into my VW Beetle which I discovered halfway down the hill?
The last part of the road up to the lake is about a half mile long and if it was any steeper one could just step off the top of it.
"Oh? Like why?" I asked.
"So it can be just adults. They are eighteen, stacked like you won't believe, the only bad part is Bob raised them by himself after his brother's old lady split and he took off for Australia to get out of paying alimony. Bob watches them like a Hawk so both of them are probably untouched. Still, it's worth it just to look at them, trust me!"
I meant why was he leaving his kids and going up to the lake, they always had their kids with them.
"Just Adults?"
The one party maybe six weeks earlier flashed into my mind, Jerry had been dancing with Jennifer and Mark was dancing with Marie. No kids that time either, things got friendly.
So OK. I got that.
Probably he wanted to look at Sandy and Brandy himself without worrying about his brats.
"Stacked?" He had said? Why not?
+++
That is how I ended up herding my ratty VW Beetle up the steep dirt road to the lake. I barely made it, foot to the floor in second gear because first didn't work.
Kind of steep, which I remembered after the Squirrel incident.
I mean, the lever went into first but it was like there was nothing in there?
Maybe that was what the noise was, it sounded like gravel or something when I tried it.
Oh, well. I made it. I got my car parked, stuffed the block of wood I carried in the trunk up front behind a tire.
The emergency brake didn't work any more since I damn near tore the handle off of it after that Chipmunk hopped up onto my shoulder.
And yes, you can too shift into low gear going downhill at 35 MPH.
I had my fishing pole just in case things got too boring, a case of brew in the back and a blanket, plus my bathing suit.
The black one.
I wasn't real sure I would put it on, but I brought it just in case.
If it was any hotter out the road would have melted. I think the pavement part farther down actually did.
The first thing I spotted was Jennifer sitting on the porch in a pink bikini that barely contained her store bought boobs.
That suit was the same one she had on at a backyard pool party I went to at their house, she was fun to look at in it. I had put on my own suit that day and noticed she acted like I was fun to look at too.
Not that I would be too interested in an older lady like that, after all, she must be around 35 or 36 or so.
Of course she had on huge diamond ear rings, several expensive looking rings on her fingers and a couple of bracelets.
Plus she was so dark from the spray on tan that she could have passed for African except for the blond hair piled up on her head.
She was fully made up, lipstick, colored cheeks and fingernails and toenails that were fire engine red.
"Hi, Jen!" I said, hopping out after making sure my car wouldn't leave all by itself since the thing kept jumping out of gear.
"It's Jennifer, Danny." She instantly corrected me, then she glanced down at my crotch.
That happened every single time I saw her without fail, I always called her "Jen".
I mean the correcting her name part, not looking at my package. I had on my baggy shorts anyway, things are not quite as obvious wearing those.
Yea, I did it deliberately, mean of me, huh?
"Where is everyone?" I asked her.
"Jerry and Mark are out back trying to get the barbecue going, Marie is in the house, Bob and the girls haven't arrived yet." She reached out and picked up a long stemmed glass that had something pink in it, her fingers splayed under the bowl of it, took a sip.
I used the moment to take a look at her big black nipple, when she turned like that it always slid right out, then right back when she turned again.
Yep, it popped right out like I had seen a half dozen times before, I think because her tits were made of concrete and didn't move at all. She always wore that top with it laying on her, she obviously didn't need any support at all.
Then when she sat down the cups bulged forward. Jen also spent a lot of time looking away so anyone interested had lots of time to check her titties out.
I figured since they were close to perfect, they cost around $5000...each. Like I said, Mark and Jennifer had money. I had parked my VW right next to their silver Cadillac, you know the kind I mean. What are they, 60 or 80 grand?
I finally wandered around back, the two guys were standing back looking at the barbecue, I could see why since they had flames going ten feet in the air.
No worries about setting anything on fire, I had helped them trim the tree branches back after the last barbecue.
Those were dead, anyway. I like Jerry but he isn't exactly the smartest rock in the box.
"Got her going!" Jerry grinned at me.
"No shit." I laughed, setting down the beer.
"Cold ones over there." He pointed at a cooler nearby, then I spotted the other cooler full of ice so I loaded that one.
"How has the fishing been?" I asked, figuring I would end up down on the dock before the day was over.
"Too hot, probably nothing biting. Maybe later this afternoon?" He said, starting to saw away with one of those Chinese made steak knives at what looked like half a Cow sitting on a huge platter.
"New York's, got this down at that Grocery place that sells to restaurants." He said, as much to himself as anyone else. He was busy trimming off huge layers of fat.
"Half price!" He added. I looked, he was going to whack half of it off anyway, he might as well have bought the trimmed ones.
I went and plopped down in a lawn chair. Then I heard voices chattering away.
A large man came around the corner carrying two big sacks, right behind him were two young women.
Women? Maybe girls would fit better. I took one look and almost fell off the lawn chair.
Good Lord, good God almighty! Blond hair, long and straight and parted down the middle, flat brown tummies, cute pixie type faces, those round behinds that every female on the planet would die for and some spend one hell of a lot of money to get.
Titties that sure as hell were not store bought and the largest part of them sticking out the sides of what pretended to be tops.
I was glad I had on my baggy tan shorts, otherwise I was going to demonstrate my reaction very clearly.
Jerry was not kidding one bit.
There were introductions all around, Sandy and Brandy were going to be a problem to know who was who because not only did they have on identical suits, they wore their hair the same and both of them had a tiny little diamond in their navel.
I already knew they both had bald beavers, those suit bottoms left no room at all for any hair. There was also four identical bulges out each side of a tiny little triangle of cloth that pretended to be a bikini top.
I also knew they spent quite a bit of time in those outfits since those round butt cheeks had no sign of lighter color on them.
Easy to tell since I could see all of them, the string went right down the middle and was not in sight.
I was thinking that "Uncle" Bob was probably a very happy man.
"You girls stay out of the beer!" Bob told them, pretending to sound stern.
