June 10, 1996
Bill and Ben were born almost on the same day in the US bi-centennial year, 1776. That was twenty years ago last Thursday and Saturday. They grew up next door to each other, the best of friends. Their fathers worked together in a bi-nocular shop. The one in the old bi-carbonate of soda factory in Bixby. They progressed from babies to bi-peds together, before delivering a bi-weekly newspaper by bi-cycle.
They were really bright guys. In high school they declined to bi-sect frogs for science class and instead invented a new kind of bi-focal eyeglass lens made with a bi-sulphide bi-polymer. They also co-chaired a bi-annual student council review of bi-partisan bi-nary and non-bi-nary school policies. To their mutual disappointment, they were not popular with high school girls.
But that didn't matter. Bill and Ben discovered their sexuality in their eighteenth summer. Then after stroking themselves, they decided that there was no harm in stroking one another. It wasn't exactly cool in their small town so they pretty much kept it on the down-low until they both went off to college in nearby Cairo, Illinois -- where the Mississippi and Ohio bi-furcate -- initially intending to individually study the use of bi-nomials and bi-metallic controls.