Of course, after telling the person what (s)he has done well, one does need to deliver the bad news, but even here there might be some ground rules that would help the person. The first thing that I would recommend is that you be specific about what you want to see from the person to whom you are directing your remarks. I know that for me, the person who told me that I shifted point of view in my stories did more for me than the one who told me that my stories were rubbish. The man who praised the standard of my editing of my own work has caused me to re-read my stories just that one extra time before sending them off, since I don't want to disappoint him in the future. To be sure, I still get it wrong sometimes, but, again, because of this generous-minded person I have become a better writer.
The second thing that I would recommend is that you try to give a little of yourself in your comments. Again, the person who told me that my poem Birthday was "gripping and disturbing but profound" conveyed much in these few words, as did the person who told me that the "cheating and blackmail was a real turn off. please (sic) keep the garbage out of the incest area" for Soren and his Sisters. In truth, because of that second, more negative comment, I have tried to be more sensitive and respectful of the feelings of others in my writing, not only for incest stories that I write myself, but also for those that I have been asked to read and critique, and for all of the other areas of human sexuality to which I do not subscribe personally, and so do not have an intimate understanding of the emotions attached to these situations. As harsh as that was to hear, I have learned from it, and hopefully, if this person bothers to read my third "incest and taboo" entry in this year's Survivor Contest (s)he will be more satisfied.
Finally, it has been a suspicion of mine for some time, that some of the anonymous comments that I read are really from fellow authors here on Lit who feel that they don't want to say something to me lest I, or the other author to whom they have directed their remarks, take them in the wrong way. I can't speak for everyone, but one thing that I can say is that usually the more profound the comment, the more that I would like to get further clarification, or to discuss the technique change being recommended, with the commentator. Leaving no return Lit ID name or e-mail address on a comment in my contact box or leaving a vague, anonymous comment is frustrating if I really need just five minutes more of your time. So, I'd like to urge those of you who really are not members of Literotica to consider becoming members so that we can all have more access to each other's ideas. You have access to mine; I've written them down for you, but I need more access to you since there may be times when I need to know what you meant when you said whatever it is that you did. Certainly, for me it would be helpful, and so even if you don't do it for anyone else, if you're not sure how they will react, please let me understand what you want of me. Let me decide if I can lift my game to wherever it is that you want me to be. I'm not promising that I will be able to do so, but at least you will have given me a chance to become one of the greatest Jamaican writers of all times. ;)
In closing, I would like to remind us all that it takes little effort to sweeten the bitterest medicine with a spoon of sugar; and the effort is worth it since you are likely to be given a better reception if your aim in offering your comments is to help the person involved to do a better job next time. Of course, if your agenda is something else, like crushing that person's spirit, then you could probably continue doing what you're doing now; but don't be surprised if you continue to be ignored.
