Strip Poker Reimagined

Strip poker is a classic game, and for good reason. It can be a slightly risqué party game (try playing a round of old-fashioned Spin the Bottle after every winning hand) or the perfect way to set up a long night of affection between, or among, consenting adults. Watching someone else take off a piece of clothing every few minutes can be a great tension-builder, especially when you have to earn it. House rule: even if you're missing the most clothes when it happens, you automatically win if the other player(s) jumps your bones before you're fully naked.

The problem with strip poker is that it's rarely played as poker should be; when the only question is who loses a piece of clothing after each hand, most of the poker dynamic is lost. If all the choice you have is which cards to exchange (and whether you actually want to win), there's no raising, no folding, no reading your opponents. Even if you don't actually care for the game of poker, losing clothes after every single hand will get people naked too quickly to build any kind of tension, and it feels anticlimactic when someone finally wins.

The solution is to play real poker, with actual poker chips or money (maybe from a board game); the difference is in how you handle the money. Instead of taking the money home or treating everyone to pizza with it, let the money decide who takes what off, and when. There are plenty of ways to play this kind of game:

When a player gets low on money, you can pay him or her from your own pile to take something off between hands. It's probably best to briefly work out a general idea of how much each article of clothing is worth before you start playing. It's also advisable to raise the price after each piece is lost—after all, is it better to see someone take off her pants or her watch? It also raises the feeling of expectation and accomplishment when you have to win three hands to get enough money to buy someone's shirt off.

If players are paying each other to take off clothes this way, another option you might allow is the charity drive: maybe one person doesn't have enough for a player to take off her bra or his jockey shorts, but if everyone in the game chips in, they could all get the show they want.

Another variation you might like is that the person paying can give a little extra to be allowed to strip the shirt or belt off the loser's body—provided the loser agrees to this proposition. For even more fun, you can sell this privilege at auction; with the right people and the right piece of clothing, this can create bidding wars that will change the course of the entire game and put the "loser" ahead of everyone else.

You could also allow haggling on the price of people's clothes, but there can be problems with that. A headhunter with a huge lead could take advantage of someone desperate to stay in the game, and buy him down to his underwear at a dollar for each piece of clothing. On the flipside, a strong negotiator could take three quarters of your money just to take off a vest. This pretty much defeats the purpose of making the game fun for everyone. If you're into power play and domination/humiliation, though, let the free market system run amuck.

A different way to play that keeps anyone from ruling the market too much is to give everyone free money at the beginning of every hand (here's where a set of fake money comes in handy); it's kind of like passing Go in Monopoly. You should get enough money that even someone who just went broke can play the next hand, but probably not much more than that.

If you play this way, the money you spend on other people's clothes should go back to the bank; if it goes to the person getting naked, there will be too much money available before long, and prices will have to skyrocket to keep the game interesting. (You could also save some of the money from going back to the bank by putting it in a pot, which you can win by getting a flush, or by getting down to your last piece of clothing.)

Economics aside, getting free money with every hand will keep even the worst players in the game—and at the table, where you can admire what they've got on display. Of course, the bidding wars and haggling are certainly still options.

But if people are still in the game after losing all of their clothes, what do they still have that's worth paying for? Everything. Even when the clothes are gone, ever-higher amounts of money can be spent for a description of a wild fantasy, a sexy dance, an erotic confession, a kiss (tongue costs extra), a massage, a handjob ... The list is endless, as long as you've got imagination.

Naturally, it will only be a matter of time before you forget all about the cards and just share the spoils of victory—but hey, it's a game. Keep condoms, dental dams and lube on hand, and have fun.

*

Got another idea? Leave a comment and we'll all benefit from it.