Intro to Ropes 101

The use of ropes or other binding devices can bring an exciting element into a sexual experience. Unfortunately most people don't know how to keep from scaring the shit out of a newcomer to the playfulness ropes provide. This is how I introduce the use of ropes to people that have never had the pleasure of trusting another enough to totally submit their bodies and minds for the mutual pleasure of themselves and another. This is not for the hard core BDSM Masters that can find a submissive to dominate, but it is for the experimenters of sexual fetishes that wish to include bondage as part of their play.

First and most important is think of who and what you want to do with the rope. Depending on what you are trying to accomplish and the body size of the person to be bound this is an important step. For starters don't be excited by the different colors of ropes available, that is secondary to function. What you do need is soft, cotton, woven, rope, roughly 3/8ths to ½ inch in width, and a minimum of 25 foot in length. Test the rope by gripping it firmly and pulling a stretch of it through your hand. It should not feel scratchy against your skin.

Once you have purchased the rope practice different knots and watch a couple of videos on your favorite porn site. You need to do this in private. Remember a novice will normally be very afraid of ropes unless they have a predestined curiosity about them. You don't want to scare the subject of your desires away so do not set your bed or wall up like a torture device with ropes and whips hung in neat order. The coil should be left in a drawer or under the bed with no preparations in the room other than having your normal toys visible, like condoms, vibrators, and lubricants.

Depending upon the relationship you have with the intended, the first meet should be one of non-committal verbal exploration. Find out what they think of bondage in general. Do not take a "No Way!" as a final answer. During the sexual encounter see if your partner is willing to engage in mind stimulation sex. Ask them to play a sex game with you where they are to grab the headboard and the rules are do not let go no matter what I do. If they do all play ends.

Once positioned have them close their eyes and lightly stroke their nude body. Start with just your fingertips. Do not grope or even touch the nipples or genitals area. Stroke around them with as light a touch as possible. A feather is very useful if you have one at this point. It also stimulates the mind as much as the body by using items they may not recognize. The object of this is to see how long they can go without letting go. Reminding them as their hands start to pull away that the play will stop if they move. This in effect ties them to the headboard as firmly as rope.

The more sensitive and strong willed the person is the better this will proceed. Hopefully you will find this pleasing and stimulating for both of you. If not, ropes may not be what you want. Keep in mind that what is good for the goose is good for the gander. Submit yourself to the test. Your subject may not be the proper one to be bound. They may be more dominant than yourself and the pleasure of being subservient may fall to you. This is not uncommon since who wanted the ropes in the first place?

An explanation of some terms that I have started to use and will use more frequently is needed at this point. Master and Slave are extremes that we will not get into in this course of thought. To start with a Dom (Dominate) is the person that controls the play. The Sub (Submissive) is the person that volunteers to surrender control of the body and mind to will of the Dom. This sounds scary, but the true purpose of a good Dom, is to bring varying degrees of pleasure to the Sub. This comes about by releasing total control to another person who will through tantalizing teases, soft pain, and passion, bring about feelings that anything less will not ever manifest. The Dom's only true gain from the experience is a sense of power over another that even though it is for their benefit the Dom gains also. Last is a Switch (Dom / Sub) this is a person that enjoys being both a Dom and a Sub depending on opportunity, desire and partner.

After playful games like the one already mentioned, the role of Dom and Sub should be rather obvious. This opens the door to further game play and conversation about the use of rope. A positive reaction and you can go to the next step with ease. Even with a negative reaction if they have been enjoying the mind and body tantalizing then proceed to the next step. The next step isn't setting up the torture chamber, it is a continuation of the game. Only instead of holding the headboard pull the rope out and tie a simple loop with a granny knot holding it together. This will keep the loop from collapsing and thus binding the person.

At this point of the training, the Warning and Stop commands must be explained. These are simple words that are utilized to warn of reaching limits, and immediate stop of the session. The Dom must pay attention to the Warning command as an example lets call it "Yellow". This will tell the Dom to either soften or go another direction all together. Where the Stop command lets call it "Red" then the Dom must stop all action and release the Sub with safety in mind.

Calmly explain that you made it so it will not collapse and can not bind the person any longer than they want to be bound. It is a large enough loop that their hands can pull in and out at any time. In this version of the game they grab the loops, they do not insert their arms, and must hold on as the Dom pleasures the Sub. This continues until a comfort level allows for advancement to actually inserting the arms, and then the actual collapsing of the loop around the wrists to secure the Sub.

Another angle is breast binding. This is basically the binding of the chest of the Sub without actually binding of arms or legs. Through one of many wrapping techniques that can be found even on YouTube, the Sub's breast have the rope looped around them. The real trick is to make sure the rope is snug, but not so tight as to restrict blood flow. There are many beautiful wrapping styles that bind the breast without actually wrapping the arms or legs.

A personal favorite binding of mine is to bind the Sub to themselves. Have the Sub lay on their back and wrap the rope around one wrist and then to the ankle on the same side. With a second rope repeat for the other side. This effectively limits the Sub's movement and leaves them totally open for your exploration of their sexual senses. If the Sub wishes to playfully resist a simple 3rd rope can be added to the play. This rope will slide under the bed or table that they are lying on and wrap around one knee. Then the legs are spread wide apart and that knee is then bound in that position. Now there is no part that can't be explored. Of course if a pillow is added underneath the hips at this point, all avenues may be reached.

If your Sub is courageous, binding like this to a bed, with a blindfold carefully placed makes for a very hot and heavy start of a 3some or even 4some. The bondage element relinquishes the guilt a partner may have of extramarital sex as they would not have a choice once the ropes were in place. Of course the warning and stop commands would still be in effect, but with a Dom worthy of the name, the action would never be more than the Sub's moral fiber would endure.