How to Tal Dirty to Your Man

So your partner has asked you to talk dirty him. You may think of yourself as kinky and that you have a dirty mind but when you try to talk dirty the words just don't come to you. If nasty talk doesn't come naturally to you then this how-to is for you.

Keep in mind is that he is a guy, his mind is dirtier than yours. Do you want to know what is inside that skull of his? A cesspool, that's what's inside. All you need to learn is how to send ripples through it.

1) Remember, he is the one that asked you to talk dirty. He has no complaints if you talk too dirty. Besides, the chances of you talking too dirty for him are slim. Don't hold back.

2) When you do talk dirty for him you are being a sexual object. Men are pigs. We have been programmed since birth to objectify women. That does not mean we do not love our spouses, girl friends, significant others, or whatever we call our partners. It means we have a sexual object that we fantasize about and at times we fantasize about the woman in our lives as being that sexual object. Are you willing to be a sexual object? Maybe it is something the two of you can discuss. Perhaps the two of you can discuss ground rules. Make sure you both know it is just a fantasy. You can always set a night for candlelight and soft music and then a night for talking to him like he was the pig that he is.

3) Dirty talk is spice. Too much can spoil the meal. Sprinkle those nasty words over the course of the evening. There is nothing like a good tease. Collect a repertoire of stock phrases. They don't have to be original. You are talking to cesspool after all. Use those phrases to set him up for the shocker. Use phrases that seem natural to you, but phrases using words like pussy, cock, and dick. 'I want you inside me' doesn't cut it. 'Fuck me with that dick' is better. Read stories on literotica. If you come across a phrase you like write it down. If you are comfortable doing so, watch some porn movies when your partner is not around and takes notes. You don't particularly have to like porn movies. You are just doing homework. If you don't want to see what is happening on the screen don't look. Just listen. If you do like porn get the vibrator out and have some me time.

4) Make sure you have a shocker. What is a shocker? A shocker is that really dirty, nasty, and disgusting phrase that closes the deal. It is the phrase that will have him wrapped around your finger. The good thing about a shocker is that is does not have to be spontaneous. In fact, during the time you are earning your potty mouth it is best not to be spontaneous. The best shockers in the beginning are planned. You have all the time in the world to come up with a shocker. Before your night of dirty talk sit down with a pen and notebook and figure out what your shocker is going to be. Now is the time to get that dirty mind of yours to work. Think of a theme for your shocker. Are you the sweet little girl, the slut, the evil bitch or do you have something even more devious in mind. Get in the mindset that you are playing a character. Get yourself into the role. Start trying to objectifying things. It is not "his" dick, but "that" dick. It is just an object. It is not "your" pussy, but "that" pussy or better yet "that" hole. Objectifying is not a rule it is just something to just keep in mind. Think about whether it fits your theme or situation. Finally the best shockers have a hint of the taboo in them. Referring to yourself as mommy or call him a slut (yes, I said him). The goal is to send him over the edge. You may be saying to yourself that you couldn't say something like that to him. What if it would freaks him out. I could only answer that by saying that he wasn't just asking you to talk dirty to him. He was asking you to fuck his mind.

5) Make sure to deliver the shocker properly. After all your work you wouldn't want the shocker to get lost unnoticed between "Oh, yeah fuck that pussy" and "and fuck me faster". Pace things. Set the scene, stop or slow things down if you need to, and make sure he is looking into your eyes when you are ready. Now deliver the shocker.

"You motherfucker. You've turned me into slut haven't you?"

Of course replace this shocker with your own. Make it as nasty you want it to be.

6) Once you've gone through talking dirty a time or two throw this how-to away and do what comes naturally. Now you are really ready to use that dirty mouth of yours.