First let me state I'm no expert on the physiology of women or their psyche either. Yet just because I'm unqualified to give advice on this subject is not going to stop me from doing so. For most of us men who can cum at the drop of a hat or at least the vision of a lady in a short skirt bending over to pick up a dropped hat it is hard for us to understand how so many women find it difficult to achieve the same thing. How can the two genders from the same species be wired so differently for the ability to achieve the same sensation?
I understand the original biology of it all, the male needs to get his sperm deposited first and foremost and the female needs to stay in place to allow the sperm enough time to fertilize her eggs. Therefore, the male cums fast and the female orgasm turns from excitement to a slow glow. Of course, I also know for a biological result the male must climax while it is not necessary for the female to do the same. Still with all that a given we are not talking procreation here, we are talking recreation and in that context the woman has as much right to achieve orgasm as the man.
If I have any expertise on this subject, it has come from my two wives and the women I dated between them. Although that is not enough for a scientific study, I think it is enough for me to give my opinions. With every woman I've been with, my goal was and is for them to have as much pleasure as myself. In no way was I successful every time I had sex but it still was my goal Most of my failures were due to my own clumsiness or my inability to understand the needs of my partner. With each new partner I was with, I increased my knowledge of the parameters of the female orgasm.
One of the hot topics on the web these days is women who squirt, that is, women who ejaculate fluid as they orgasm. As seen in the pornos, these orgasms are intense usually leaving the women gasping for breath and shaking uncontrollably. I have seen reports of this not being possible or at best just urine escaping with the orgasm. Years ago, I was lucky enough to have a girlfriend who was a squirter. She didn't do this every time she came but every so often, she would just go off soaking me and everything around us. Just like the pornos she would be left shaking and extremely sensitive to the touching of her clit. I never could ascertain what made her cum like that and learned just to enjoy it as a treat when it happened. After many of my own taste tests, I can guarantee this fluid was not urine and didn't come from her urethra but from her womb. This was long before the web or anything like it and neither she nor I knew what was happening. To me it was extremely erotic and although messy, was a complete turn on.
Although not all women are having orgasms, all women deserve orgasms. If your partner is not having orgasms with you, it may be your fault or it may have something to do with her own hang-ups. I dated a very sexy woman for quite a few months and no matter what I tried, she could not cum at all. This girl was a topless dancer, she could tease a whole room full of men, and she could do it well. Even in her clothes, she knew just what to do to get a guy to start thinking with his little head. In bed, she loved to do wild and crazy things but would not allow me to give her oral. She admitted that her extra large labia was an embarrassment to her and therefore did not want my face near her privates, as she called them. I tried everything to convince her otherwise to no avail and when I tried to press the subject, it only made it worse.