How To Just Get More Kinky Er

Okay, I am with you, there are some pretty sick fucking people out there that need to be fucking sent to jail for the sick shit they are doing or thinking about. But hey, live and let live is my motto, so let's keep looking at some fun kinky stuff. Have you gotten any story ideas yet? Come on, don't be shy, write a kinky story. Imagine the characters you can come up with if you start them off doing some of this stuff.

We are already up to the JKL and Ms and I've skipped a lot of stuff. One thing I can guarantee about the kinks I'll discuss, when we get to the Ms don't expect me to talk about the good old missionary style. It may be tried and true, and you know, it might also be kinky for a few of you... I mean you can only fuck in so many ways before wanting to do something kinky, and hey after doing it standing on your head doggie style while a brass band plays coming back to missionary may actually seem kinky, I'll leave it alone here.

I am sure, by the way I write, that everyone reading now knows that I'm a fucking sex machine able to please women in a single bound. Yeah, I'm probably the best lover any of you women and perhaps men will ever experience and by just telling you this I am getting incredibly aroused. Yes, I am talking about

Jactitation

or getting aroused or deriving pleasure from bragging of sexual exploits. And from someone who actually performs foreplay by begging so convincingly I really can't claim all the exploits above, perhaps I should confine my bragging to "Hey old Rosy Palm sure had a good time with me last night."

Imagine this, you are visiting an Eastern country and are relaxing with a beautiful woman of that country. You are naked on the bed and she is above you, but for anyone watching neither of you are moving, at least that is true on the outside, but on the inside, with the use of abdominal and vaginal muscle contraction, she is milking your cock for all it's worth. Oh my, that is called

Kabazzah

a form of tantra. It is said some Eastern prostitutes are still experienced in this art. Okay, guys on the East Coast here in the US, I'm talking a bit further east than the Atlantic Ocean, so zip it back up and put your money away.

Hey, remember the harpaxophile, the person aroused by getting robbed. Well harpaxophile I'd like to introduce you to a kleptophile.

Kleptophilia

is being aroused by stealing things. Kleptophiles may have fetishes and steal specific things or simply may not have a fetish and simply steal personal items -- tampons, panties, bras, hygiene spray. Also, some guys may steal a partner's panties as a souvenir or trophy. Someone like that may not want his wife dusting his trophy case very often.

Origami anyone? How about

Kokigami

which is the art of wrapping a penis in a paper costume. Men will decorate their penis to look like geese, fish, squid or dragons and present them to their partner, who will unwrap the costume, stimulating the penis. We didn't get to see this part with Tom Cruise in "The Last Samurai."

Thirsty? Ah well,

Lactaphilia

may interest you. It is the sexual arousal caused by lactating breasts. Interesting enough, some women may experience orgasm during infant feeding and any orgasm will cause milk to spurt from a lactating nipple.

In line with the above,

Maieusiophilia

is being aroused by women who are going to give birth. Oddly, many women do not feel sexy while pregnant and yet there are many magazines selling today that feature naked, pregnant women.

We've been fairly tame for a while here, but once again, the faint hearted may want to skip past

mucophagy

or the consumption of nasal mucosa while engaging in nasolingus. Yeah I said nasolingus. Apparently for some it is a sign of total acceptance and love for a partner. Personally, I'm a bit more inclined to simply let them borrow a box of my facial tissue.

Remember the movie "Porkies" or was it "Porky's," anyway, remember the gym scene with the female gym teacher turned on by the smell of the locker room. Well, that's called

Mysophilia

or being aroused by smelling, chewing or rubbing against a foul smelling, soiled piece of clothing like a jock strap, a bra, or panties. Damn, I think I've written a few of these stories.

Okay, let's just forget the trauma of the nasolingus and try to figure out what we are doing again. Oh yes, we're writing about and having kinky sex. Somehow I'd don't think we will be able to add a category for nasolingus, so maybe I'll just let it drop.

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Bibliography:

1.) Fernbach, Amanda

Fantasies of FETISHISM from Decadence to the Post-Human

2002 Rutgers University Press New Brunswick, NJ

2.) Love, Brenda

Encyclopedia of Unusual Sex Practices

1999 Greenwich Editions, London.