How To Imbibe Alcohol

~~~ NOTE: Drink Responsibly and never drive after imbibing. ~~~

- Why beer bong?

The art of beer bonging can be tough for some, but if you are in the mood to get drunk off some cheap brew fairly quickly (and want to look mighty cool while you're at it) the beer bong is the way to go.

- How to beer bong

1. Fill tubing up with beer through the funnel

2. With thumb over end of tube, crouch down

3. When you give the signal, get your closest friend to lift bong

4. Open your throat, suck away, and let gravity do the rest!

- Why shotgun?

The shotgun could be considered to have the same affect of a beer bong. If perfected it takes the same amount of time without the hastle of the high-tech gadget (funnel and tube). The hazard to this quick and easy chug though is the potential mess a rookie can commit, so be sure a crafty alcoholic is there to assist you.

- How to shotgun

1. Take your favorite low class beer and puncture a hole on the lower side of the can (bottle would prove to be a big problem here)

2. Wrap lips around the hole and hold the can at an upward angle

3. Pop the top and wait for that luscious liquid to enter the body

- Why double fist?

When you are in a hurry, hard alcohol is a miss, and all you have are those two Coors lights chilling in the fridge, you are going to have to get them down fast. The double fist is a quick, sometimes painful, way to get the job done.

- How to double fist

1. Grab two beers

2. Open both

3. Hold both up to mouth at the same time

4. Chug like there is no tomorrow

- Why take shots?

The shot is an interesting way to get your night going. I say interesting because unless you are a big fan of the sausage fest, you are going to have to have your shot glasses ready for those multiple fine ladies to enjoy. Like a band aid, they are quick, a little painful, but have to be done to cure a bad case of soberitis.

- How to take shots

1. Fill a shot glass up with hard alcohol of some kind (preferably dark rum)

2. Take a deep breath

3. Lean back and inhale drink

- Why beer chug?

The beer chug could be considered the most commonly used way to get a beer down fast. It's a very fundamentally sound way of getting drunk. Nothing too flashy, but just knows how to get the job done.

- How to beer chug

1. Open beer

2. Chug beer until there is nothing left

3. Repeat

- Why drink EverClear

Everclear may be the fastest alcohol in the world to get drunk on its 190 proof which is almost pure grain alcohol. Everclear is especially useful when trying to spit fire. And last and not least drink Everclear to prove you can.

- How to Drink EverClear

1. Fill a shot glass up with Everclear

2. Take a deep breath

3. Exhale completely trying to remove all the air from your lungs

3. Lean back and imbibe drink

4. Inhale breath as fast as you can, this allows the vapors to be removed from your throat. Its not the drink that makes you cough and embarrass yourself. It's the fumes left in your throat afterwards. Taking the deep breath clears those.

- Why Drink Absinthe

With absinthe, instead of blacking out, there's usually a skeleton crew left in control of the brain. Usually after several kinds of booze, your brain is only barely responding. The night dissolves into mush, You lose the others, and stumble onto the street, ripe for a mugging. The absinthe effect on the brain seems to get you home, despite the drunkenness. The next morning, with no hangover

- How to Drink Absinthe

Louching, where a sugar cube on a spoon is held over the glass of absinthe and cold water slowly dribbled onto it and into the glass, plays a major part of the absinthe experience, and is a way of marking quality before imbibing. In the bottle, the drink is usually an clear emerald green, but in most paintings or dramatic representations, it's a thick mint green. There's a good reason for this.

When ice cold water is dripped into good absinthe, or an ice cube added, the emerald green spirit clouds into a milky, minty green. According to writer Phil Baker, this is because "the water upsets the balance of alcohol and herbal matter, making the essential oils precipitate out of the alcoholic solution into a colloidal suspension."