How To Become Desirable

There are very few men I have met who I have connected with, not just sexually but our minds also. I have spent my life flitting from mostly sexual encounters to seasons of intimacy based, stronger connections with men and women alike.

I have never had seasons of being completely alone or without at least someone who was interested in me, which has nothing to do with my looks, age or anything else. Most of the reason I have enjoyed SO many different and exciting encounters with men and women I have been attracted to (many of who are socially speaking 'out of my league') is because I have some secret techniques I learned early on in life that I want to share...

I post this under the, 'How To' section on Literotica because I want to share my knowledge of sex and connection with my readers. This is to benefit readers in their own lives and for them to get more insight into the stories I share on this platform, all of which are true stories from my own experiences.

The two MOST influential books I read very early in my life are important to mention and are recommended reads for both sexes. I believe every man AND woman should read these books. During my early twenties, my mother shared a book with me called, 'The Rules' by Ellen Fein and Sherrie Schneider. There is an updated version called, 'The New Rules, the Dating Dos and Don'ts for the Digital Generation' by the same authors.

Whilst this book is written for women, I believe men should read this book too, to gain an understanding of how a woman's mind works when it comes to sex, intimacy and love. It also helps to understand the psychology and the deeper workings of a woman in comparison to your own sex and I believe, gives you the upper hand in this often tricky field.

The other book which nobody recommended to me but I fell upon quite accidentally, is called, 'The Game' by Neil Strauss. This book is written specifically for men but I would also recommend women to read it, for the same reasons I have recommended men read, 'The Rules'

Interestingly, one of the connections I spoke of in the opening of this piece, was with a man who tried to implement techniques from this book on me! Little did he know that I had not only read it but I'd memorised some of it.

I never told him that I'd read it but it gave me the upper hand in the relationship and I was able to stay in control and steer the relationship in the direction I wanted because of it. It also helped me to understand how much he was into me, you don't use techniques to make someone fall for you if you aren't interested!

I found a copy of it hidden in a shoebox in his wardrobe one day when I was looking for a charging cable, confirming what I already knew. That particular 'connection' with him lasted for five years, during which time I remained faithful for the most part.

Both books I have re-read cover to cover at least once a year since I discovered them and have put me in a position where, even as a now older woman, I am never short of love interests or offers of sexual encounters. Other women my age, some being friends of mine, have accepted defeat and remained single, and become bitter and lonely.

Equally, I have male friends who are older and even who have successful careers and bulging bank accounts but they cannot find companionship and some are even having to pay for escort services.

Listen, read the above books and thank me later. You don't have to be young and beautiful, you don't have to be popular or have something 'special' about you. You don't have to be rich. If you understand how the opposite sex works, if you understand how your OWN sex works, the playing field is yours baby!

Some might say the books I have recommended are outdated or that they are encouraging manipulative and controlling behaviour. Nobody who has tried and tested these techniques and taken on board the insights can dispute them because they are fail-proof if you follow them rigidly. I've seen them work consistently from my own experiences over the past twenty years.

Other recommended reads are, 'Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus.' By John Gray, 'He's just not that into you.' By Greg Behrendt and Liz Tuccillo, 'What women want' by Maxine Mei-Fung Chung, & 'The Five Love Languages, the secret to love that lasts.' by Gary Chapman.

Whether it's a new relationship, marriage or connection you seek, to recreate some spice within a marriage you already have, to decide whether to stay in a relationship or marriage where you are miserable (perhaps you think you are too old or unattractive to find someone else?) If it's to boost your self-esteem, to become seen and admired by the opposite sex (regardless of age) then this brief piece I've written should hopefully signpost you to some life-changing reads.

Feel free to comment on other books you have read that have helped you in sex, intimacy and connections, I'm always looking for new reads. Please also feel free to leave feedback, it's always welcomed and appreciated.

Lots of love, December Gray xoxo