How to Be Successful at Online Dating

Many people in today's world are looking to the internet to meet other people, whether for friendship, love, or sex. Internet dating services have sprung up all over the internet with amazing speed. All interests, nationalities, religions, and ethnicities are represented. Although there is a wealth of services available, why do so many people say that they are not meeting the people they truly want to? Is it truly possible that people can meet and develop the type of relationships they are looking for online? Yes, it is, providing you know how to use online dating to your best advantage.

Because there is so much variety in the places where a person can look for other people, it is imperative that a goal is set before beginning. Decide whether the purpose is to simply meet people, to date casually, to form a long term relationship, or to simply find a sex partner. Know what the final achievement should be before setting out. Know your own mind before trying to convince another person that you would be great to get to know.

Once your goal is firmly established, search out the site or sites that best suit your needs. Are you looking for a long term relationship? Then do not consider places that cater primarily to those individuals who are only seeking out sex partners. There are hundreds of sites on the internet. Peruse them carefully for the ones that fall in line with your own interests and goals.

Not all dating services are alike. Most do have either a free section or some sort of free trial period. Take advantage of these free amenities, if the site interests you. Be careful that by choosing the free memberships, you will be limited as to the services you will be able to engage in. Some may only let you send one email a day. Others may limit your browsing capability. Others will not allow you to send email. Taking advantage of a free membership or trial period is a great way to get a feel for the site and to see if there are other people who share your interests and have the same purpose for being on that site. However, do check out the cost for membership, and be certain you are aware of the length of contract, if you can cancel at any time, and if the site will automatically recharge a credit card after your time expires. There are many good, reputable sites available, and there are some whose reputation is less than stellar. Make your selection wisely.

All online dating sites have you place an ad. Do this carefully. Find a quiet place and take your time writing out what you want to say about yourself and the person you would like to meet. Remember, this is often the first impression another person has of you and if your ad is filled with spelling errors or phrases that are not well thought out, your ad might be bypassed for another one. Be certain you spell out exactly what you are looking for, and be open about the kind of person you are. However, there is a balance, and you do not want to end up writing a book about yourself. Nobody reads ads that are overly long. Try to maintain a little mystique about yourself. That will give the other person something to ask you questions about, as well as want to get to know you better.

Normally, you will have to post some general or specific information about yourself regarding looks, ethnicity, marital status, religion, or any other topic that might be of interest to another person. Always be honest. Remember, people will be basing their response to your ad partially on how you answer these questions, and if they meet you only to discover you lied, the relationship is over before it began. Sometimes it is hard to be honest, especially if you feel that it will lessen your chances at finding another person. But that honesty in the long run is what is going to hold you above the rest.

Always try to post a picture of yourself. Face it, we all base our initial response to some one based on a physical look. That may or may not be fair, but it is truthful. Many times, people won't post a picture because they want their words to do the impressing. However, there comes a time when the other person will ask for a picture or will meet you in person. They might be impressed with you from your words, but what if they aren't? It is best to post a picture at the site, if possible. Many sites will allow you to post more than one picture, and some will allow pictures of full or partial nudity. However, for a main picture, the one that normally accompanies the ad, it is best to use a close up facial shot, with just you in the pictures. Avoid having other people appear in the picture – especially if they are of the opposite sex. Do you really think that hot gal or guy is going to think that person in your picture is just your cousin? The picture should also be fairly recent. Try to avoid posting something that is 10 years old as it really doesn't work. If you have the option of posting more than one picture, consider full body shots, candid shots, shots with groups of friends, or anything that will give some one an idea of what kind of person you are. Avoid nudity unless you are only looking for a sexual partner. It is important to note that most non-sexual oriented sites will not allow you to post pictures that contain nudity. If you have difficulty getting your picture posted, ask for assistance! People who post pictures are far more likely to receive replies to their ads and have their initial inquiries answered than those individuals who do not post pictures.

Most sites offer some sort of chat service. It can be difficult for some to get used to that environment, but it is helpful in meeting other people. It puts your name out there, and allows you to display a little of your personality. If you like to chat, it's a great way to meet other people. If you don't like chatting, perhaps just checking in occasionally is might be more your style.

When it comes time to search for people, try to be as open as you can in your search criteria. That Pamela Anderson look a like or Brad Pitt's double is probably not going to be hanging around waiting to meet you. Keep in mind that the majority of people who post ads are just ordinary people. If there is certain criterion that must be met, such as age, then try to select as broad a range as you can. You will probably not respond to all the people who come up on your search, but you want to give yourself a broad range to select from.

When choosing who to contact, be certain you take the time to look at the person's ad. If you just look at the person's picture, you are more likely to be disappointed. Read what the person took the time to write. You might find that the two of you have differing purposes and expectations. If you want a long term relationship and the other person is looking for casual dating, there will be conflict from the start. Check carefully to determine what aspects the other person is looking for in the one they are searching for. Does it describe you? Good! If it doesn't, you can still try to capture the person's attention, but bear in mind you might not get far. That's okay, however! At least you tried!

Try to initiate a lot of emails or private messages to various people. The wider the net is cast, the more fish you are liable to catch. Keep your initial email short, sweet, and simple. After all, you are simply introducing yourself. Invite the other person to check out your ad and get in touch with you. Keep in mind that most people get several responses to their ads a week, so you are likely not the only one who is responding. But that does not lessen your chances at having them look at your ad and consider you.

When you receive responses to your ad, try to respond to every one. This can seem daunting sometimes, but it is the courteous thing to do. If you are not interested, simply thank the other person for responding to your ad and let them know that you are not interested at this time. If they persist or harass you, warn them that you will notify the site administrators. If it continues, follow through with notification, if possible, block the person.

If you receive responses that interest you, be certain to keep your response short and include another way to get in touch with you. Be careful about giving out phone numbers, however. Include an email where the person might contact you, unless you feel more comfortable using the site's email service. Be aware that if the site sends you responses through your email address, and you respond, your email address will appear on the response. Be certain to erase it if you do not want the other person to know your email at this time.

It is always a good idea to take things a little slowly on the internet. People can be whoever they want to be, and may not be representing themselves honestly. Try to establish an email connection with the other person first, possibly moving to an instant messaging system for real time, one on one chat. Only when you feel comfortable with the other person should you exchange phone numbers. Realize that some people are initially shy even though they appear to be rather outgoing on the computer. It may take a while for the other person to feel comfortable around you, or vice versa.

When the time comes to meet, try to be courteous. Don't reply to an ad and expect that person to meet you that night or even that weekend. Keep in mind they have a life as do you, and they may not be immediately available to you. Ask if they would like to meet and settle on a date and time. It is a good idea to keep the first meeting casual and brief. If things move along well, you can always stay or make plans for another day. Be certain to meet the person in a public place, and be certain that some one knows exactly where you are. In the BDSM community they have "safe calls", and it is a good idea to incorporate into the online dating scene. Make prior arrangements with a close friend or relative to call you at a pre-determined time. Instruct the friend or relative that if you do not answer the first time to call back a few minutes later. If you still do not answer, instruct them to call the police. This might seem a little weird, but with so many people meeting strangers on the internet and then simply disappearing or ending up badly injured, you are better safe than sorry.

Go to the meeting with lowered expectations. Expect to meet a friend, a buddy. Don't meet the person expecting to meet the love of your life. You will be disappointed. By lowering your expectations, you allow room for growth. And, if things don't work out, you just might have a new friend! People can be shy at first meetings, so check your opinion if you think the other person is being snobbish or quiet. They may simply be shy. Try to emphasize asking questions about the other person. People love to talk about themselves, and this is a good way to get a shy person out of his/her shell.

Most importantly, have fun. Online dating cannot promise that you will meet your one true love or the best sex partner you ever had. All these services can provide is a way for you to meet others with the same likenesses and expectations and goals. Be honest and truthful with yourself and the other person, and simply enjoy the idea of being able to meet new and interesting people!