How to Be a (virtual) Hotwife

I make no claims on this being even a basic guide on how to change your life or (virtual) cuckold your husband and at best it can only be considered a guide in how i changed my life and (virtual) cuckolded my husband but hopefully you'll pick up a few tips from my 10 years of experiences and maybe even give me some fresh ideas!

I've split it into overlapping chapters covering the various parts to our game simply for ease of reference and because what started as a list of hastily scribbled notes has become something of a novel if not a book.

It's intended to be read as a series in order but hopefully each individual chapter can be taken and applied independently.

First a little about us (or who we were anyway) I felt that I was simply a woman lucky enough to bag herself one of the attractive high-school jocks and who's dream was nothing more than our own house, a couple of kids and a happy marriage, sex was nothing more than a good end to a pleasant evening and how you ended up with the kids in the dream. I worked in an office (and still do though mostly from home now) whilst my husband was a sporty jock who pretty much went straight into military service, did his duty, provided everything we needed and was generally that guy that everyone respects. The very ordinary American couple i guess.

That was all to change not long after he had left the military.

I blame a rerun of the movie "indecent proposal" and the conversation I'm sure most couples have had after watching it. "how much to sleep with your wife?"

I started with the stock answer everyone gives "i couldn't do it, I couldn't cheat on you for any amount of money" which was swiftly countered with "it can't be cheating if I knew about it and agreed to it, what if it was enough to buy a ranch in the country?" but to me sex is a very emotional connection, my bond to my husband, I couldn't imagine essentially selling that to the highest bidder, hell I couldn't even imagine there even being a bidder! So I replied with "i just couldn't do that to you, I couldn't hurt you like that" and that's when he said something that would change all of those years as a simple military wife forever. "it happens more than you think, not selling a night with your wife but wives having sex with other men and it's not always an illicit affair either, it's something you never talk about on deployment but whilst some of those wives were definitely cheating on their husbands (and he's seen 20+ year combat veterans broken by infidelity) some of them didn't just have a hall pass to cheat, their serving husbands in a desert a thousand miles away were desperate for the phone call or even the photos arriving of their wives latest conquest"

Of course there are some military wives that cheat, I'd seen that with my own eyes, nobody is saying it doesn't happen but that it happens with not just permission but they WANT to know about it and hear the details? I think I must have simply looked at him in disbelief, maybe I started to form words with my open mouth, I can't remember because that's when he followed up with the bombshell that would eventually change both our lives forever; "there were even times I was hoping you would confess to me on the phone or send me a letter and photos, I jacked off to that thought more than a few times"

I had to have misheard what he said, had to. Did he seriously just say he'd jacked off to the THOUGHT of me cheating on him whilst he was thousands of miles away? What was wrong with me? How could he even think such a thing? What was wrong with him? I must have had a million thoughts running through my head, from the times I'd seen or heard about what some of the other wives had done to questioning myself, our marriage, my whole existence, everything.

It was a week or so later I found myself sat in my therapists overly familiar chair, I'd battled depression and anxiety since way before our marriage and outside of our lovely home (that suddenly felt oh so strange) this was my other "safe place" I guess.

I fully expected her to gently explain how this was some sort of PTSD common amongst military personnel when I was utterly thrown by her casually telling me it wasn't unusual at all amongst men period, my husband was pretty fucking normal!

Though I suppose even running an eight man concrete team hardly matches the mental stimulation of being shot at on a daily basis and It certainly isn't the weirdest kink out there amongst alpha type men who are usually intelligent, strong, comfortable and in an otherwise safe relationship.

Then it was time for the second bombshell in as many weeks; "your husband sees you as a sexual being, one that others would naturally covet and be worthy of competing for against other members of his tribe, would you be happier if he'd said he had fantasies about another woman?"

Excuse me? A "sexual being"? I'm a mother of two boys, my hair is in a messy bun which I'm convinced smells vaguely of kids vomit, I'm wearing possibly my least flattering comfy slacks, a plain black top and not a trace of makeup. I don't think I've even had any sort of sex in a few weeks and you're, sorry my husband is calling me some sort of "sexual being"? Lady, i think you need therapy more than I do, right at that moment yes I'd have felt better if it had been about other women.

I don't know how long those words rattled around my head, days? Weeks? I was simply existing as any busy mother and wife seems to exist. Doing laundry, making lunches, reading bedtime stories and the whole time those words just kept on rattling around my head.

Now I really do love my husband very much, I trust him with my life and he would undoubtedly wrestle that damn bear for me in a heartbeat but see me as "a sexual being naturally coveted by others and worthy of competing for" was alien to me, I didn't even view myself as any form of "sexual being" so how could he? But I somehow managed to put my faith back into my husbands judgment once more, if that was how he viewed me then somehow that was how I was going to see myself too, for him. I was going to need some serious help here though so that's when Trillian was born, my alter ego "sexual being, coveted by others and worthy of competing for" and boy was she ever going do have to do some heavy lifting.

Trillian and I have come a long way since then, at the start of this my entire "sexual being" was her and she would have to anything that I couldn't even imagine myself doing, as time went on Trillian would slowly take a back seat (unless she was helping me with an anxiety attack in a grocery store parking lot, she was good like that) but eventually I would become that "sexual being" myself, I would claim that birthright all women are born to and I would become that woman my younger self had never even imagined, I would become confident (inside AND outside the bedroom) my lifelong anxiety and depression would lift to the point not even menopause could dent it, i finally managed to shift the baby weight I'd carried for far too long, I even found myself buying totally different styles of clothing, going different places and even slowly changing my friendship circle and eventually even my alter ego my dearest Trillian would be gone forever but never forgotten.

So you see, what undoubtedly started as something i was doing purely for my husband as a loving and somewhat dutiful wife became oh so much more and went way beyond simple sexual fantasy fulfilment, it quite literally changed my life in ways I could never have predicted.

So what did I do? I studied. I studied like I've never studied before in my life. Searching "sexual being" wasn't a lot of help and I asked my therapist so many questions I should probably have an honorary degree by now and that led me onto the paths of myself being what might be defined as a "Hotwife" and my husband being a (slightly submissive) "Cuckold" but as you'll see soon, those are far too blunt and possibly misleading of a term for us and we certainly don't call ourselves that or define what we do by those terms..

Maybe we're virtual hotwife and a cyber cuckold? Anyway, after endless study and years of practice this is what we've kind of settled upon and it certainly works for us, it may be somewhat tame compared to some of the guides and articles you see posted about and im not about to go into all the various types here, Just be fully aware I'm certainly no expert (though I do now know my husband rather well these days) and whilst I've included things we've tried and discounted your mileage may certainly vary from ours and always bear in mind we are most definitely "virtual" hotwife and cuckold, some of this really would require some very in depth conversations and soul searching were you to actually do them as an "actual" hotwife and cuckold but I've found that in my position as a (virtual) hotwife I'm able to play this game to its fullest almost entirely guilt free and he loves every minute of it.

So firstly who is this stranger you once called your husband? Well according to psychologists and professional sexperts:

This is a "kink" that covers every nationality and to an extent every culture, in fact it seems it would be fairer to call monogamy the kink and this the standard of men (and women) or actual cheating in relationships wouldn't be quite so common.

Women wanting the strongest possible breeding partner whilst men thriving on competition are evolutionary traits so its hardly surprising that when we find ourselves in safe, secure situations our need of additional stimulation increases and our minds wander.

He is highly likely to be over 30, in a secure relationship with a comfortable life, have a well paid, possibly high powered job, intelligent and most definitely an "alpha" type man who is most certainly openly confident and this "infidelity" is almost certainly his idea (or he's the one to openly bring it up anyway) and as paradoxical as it may seem the more mental anguish / humiliation you can provide the more excitement he'll get from it.

He thrives on the competition and what could be more competitive than competing for his mate?

His basic drive is to procreate and do that he needs to be the quickest and strongest caveman in your tribe and lets face it, what could possibly make you more desirable as a mate than having to compete with others for your attentions?

He already finds you sexy, the threat that others do too raises that attraction by several notches. Now that certainly describes my husband, maybe yours is a different type.

What i picked up on through all of this is to think of this as a mental game, a mental version of sensation play if you like and you've got a lot of personal reprogramming to do in your mind if you want this to work because its likely to go against everything you've ever thought you knew about how be be your husbands loving wife, its going to be perfectly natural to feel its wrong and you're hurting him for real but try flat out asking him and ill bet your bottom dollar the answer will be "more" and not "less"

Your role in this is to toy with the most basic parts of his brain; jealousy, humiliation, lust, desire, shame and sublimation etc, already sounding bad isn't it?

The more control you can take away from him, the higher the risk you'll stray, the stiffer the competition, the deeper the feelings of helplessness, despair and outright humiliation in some cases the higher the psychological high he'll get from the it and I don't care how much of a caring and dutiful wife you are, who can honestly say they've never started a dumb argument over nothing just because you could? (Recognise that need for mental stimulation anyone?)

If you're ever stuck for ideas, just think of the last time he did something that pissed you off and how you'd get back at him, you'll soon think of something but in this case he'll love you for it all the more! In fact these days he knows when he's in my bad books because I don't even try to tease him.

Did I mention this was going to be fun? Oh yes this therapy certainly hits different. Imagine for a moment the kids have vomited, you're hot and hormonal, your bra is pissing you off, and some asshole just cut you off in traffic. Do you A. get mad, call your husband and give him a hard time just to make him suffer too in some sort of righteous indignation, fight over dinner tonight and storm off to bed having made both of your days all the worse or B. Decide to call upon your alter ego to become that "sexual being" and drive him crazy with desire with the delicious torment you're dishing out, have a bath run for you and have a lovely evening in general after such a shitty start to the day?

(Some of my most utterly depraved messages have been sent on days just like that on one messaging app whilst I've asked him to pick up pads and chocolate on our regular app, oh he knows full well what's going on in my head and if you were to ask him he'd probably say he enjoyed those days the best if only I hadn't been suffering!)

You already know how option A turns out, choose option B however and there's a distinct possibility you'll end up catching yourself in a mirror with the biggest smile on your face and a feeling like that morning never even happened. It's not just his brain you're playing with here, its yours too. I had one woman tell me it's the fun version of cognitive behavioural therapy and I tend to agree, just as you can get inside your own head and spiral down, you can most certainly spiral up if you choose to do so.