How to: Anal Sex

A lot of women hear 'anal sex' and their immediate reaction is "NO WAY, EXIT ONLY!" Either they aren't comfortable with it, or they've had a bad experience. A bad first experience with anal sex can destroy the possibility of learning if it's something a person enjoys, tolerates, or simply can't get enough of!

Please guys don't push it! The worst thing you can do is try to force this experience on a woman; she will resent you for pushing her into it and then not find any pleasure in it because she feels manipulated into it. Anal sex is a very intimate act. It requires a degree of trust that you simply can not betray.

1. Don't rush it, make sure she's relaxed, comfortable and warmed up. Sometimes it's best to try this after you've been inside her pussy and she's very turned on and wet.

2. Relaxing the muscles. Start by slowly sliding 1 well lubed finger inside her anus, gently! Not too deep to start with. Her body language will guide you. When she's sufficiently relaxed and comfortable with you fucking her ass with 1 finger then gently slide a second finger in and repeat the relaxing gentle finger fucking. Often times, paying attention to her clit will assist in her comfort and relaxation. You have two hands and a tongue, you can easily use your other hand to rub her clit, or better yet, gently lick and suck her clit as you slide your finger into her ass.

3. LUBE! LUBE! LUBE! This simply can't be stressed enough. The right lube is essential and it may take time to find the one that works best for her. It's always recommended that you use a water based lube, but they can wear out easily. Some of the new products can make her more or less sensitive, and some even tingle, which she may not appreciate. Talk about it before, during, and after. Find what works for you both. It's not just about you, it's about her pleasure too.

4. When she's ready for you to slide your cock in her ass, get her into a comfortable position. For someone new to anal sex, you may try the "Spooning" position. It allows her a little more control of the depth and stops YOU from going too deep. LUBE your cock just like you did your fingers. Once it's sufficiently lubed, slowly slide the tip in, a little at a time, let her breathing and body language guide you. Ladies, feel free to place your hand behind you against his stomach and hold him back until you are ready for him to go further inside you. Men, remember if she does this, FOLLOW her hand, if you feel pressure against your stomach from her hand it means STOP for a moment, let her body relax again.

5. Once you have fully penetrated her, begin to move slowly or allow her to do the moving. It can be an incredible experience for a woman and for YOU. Helping her ease into this can also include gently massaging her clit as you begin fucking her. Once she's reached orgasm, you will find that she needs you to remain very still for a few moments. It is a very intense orgasm!! Tip: Rubbing her clit can intensify her orgasm, even taking her hand and guiding her own fingers to her clit, yours over hers or hers over yours.

6. Consider using a condom. Men can get infections too, so paying close attention to protecting yourself, as a man, is very important as well. If you are adamantly against using a condom, always clean up well with soap and water after. I personally recommend a hot lovers shower afterwards, but that's just me. *wink*

AND FINALLY:

Don't ever place the penis directly from inside the anus into another part of your body. This means that if you decide that anal play is a form of pleasure that precedes oral or vaginal sex, be sure to wash the penis carefully with warm soap and water before reinserting it. The bacteria that live in the anal area can produce infection or irritation if they transfer to another part of your body, so pay extra attention to cleanliness.

In the end, don't forget that most couples need practice when it comes to trying something new with their sexuality. If things don't work right the first time, don't get discouraged. Keep trying. Be patient and gentle with yourself and with your partner. Take your time. And above all, enjoy the fun of exploring!