What up, fools. Iâm here to talk to the boys (and yeah, open-minded gals) in the class who want to learn how to keep a woman in a state of repeated orgasm for five to six hours. I mean multiple orgasm, one after another, for HOURS. Itâs a technique Iâve developed -- technique, hell, insane and inhuman skill -- which Iâve had the privilege of using successfully on five different women. And believe me, when I finished, they were different.
No, Iâm not talking that tantric shit where you sustain one mega-orgasm that bursts your uterus like a piĂąata. Nor do I mean that multiple orgasm you read about on the feminine hygiene websites where she keeps pumping the dildo until sheâs puffy and sore. What I mean is an experience I canât find any information about anywhere, and if I hadnât invented it, I wouldnât know it exists. Unless youâve pulled it off yourself, youâll think Iâm a liar. In the meantime, give it a try.
Before I delve into the "how-to," a little background: The first time I witnessed this miracle was in the backseat of my crappy car in college. I was dating a Chinese girl at the time, and we often fucked like crazed ice weasels on death row. Her body was the perfect instrument for the method we were about to uncover together -- hairless, tiny breasts with ultra-sensitive nipples, and she masturbated as though it earned her money. On the night in question, we made out, fucked, then started fondling. The rest, as they say, is undocumented. As I make the grocery list of factors youâll need, Iâll be referring to my Chinese love kitten often. (She was very American, but with that tight Asian package. Iâm missing her, for the moment.)
Part I: Bring the elements together
Can you start touching and rubbing a woman and make her cum? Sure, at the next Super Bowl party for all I care, go nuts. But will you be able to craft the super orgasm? No, itâs important that you prepare yourself and your date for the experience to follow. You donât have to be in love, but if you are, thatâs good too. The weather can be hot or cold, it doesnât matter, because youâll create your own heat (thatâs literal, not poetic). What IS essential are the following components:
A. FIND A GIRL WHO MASTURBATES. If you want to pull this off the first time, you should start with a girl who isnât afraid of a big orgasm, and that means a chick who rubs herself. It helps if she knows how to induce her own multiple orgasm, but itâs not mandatory. A girl who frequently orgasms is just a few steps away from achieving multiples, whether she knows it or not, so maybe youâre just the guy to do it. LADIES, if you want someone to do this to you, be a sport and do your homework. Learn to masturbate to orgasm, become addicted to it, then let him know youâre ready to go.
B. PICK THE RIGHT SPOT. (Location, not G-spot, hardy har.) Like I said, the temperature doesnât matter, but you have to be somewhere that you can build up some steam. A small bedroom will do, but the backseat of a car is best. Avoid saunas -- youâll have to leave due to dehydration before youâre ready to quit, which would suck. The trick is to get her sweaty without causing her to overheat. Let her pussy get sloppy, keep her licking her lips. A little drool is to be expected, so be a grown-up and let her make a mess. Why the fuck do you think youâre doing this in private? The wetter, the better. Witty!
C. KEEP THE LIGHTS OFF. I know I know, you both want to look deeply into each otherâs eyes, and you think it will be sexy to watch each other. Take it to Aruba or some damn place, because it wonât work here. Girls are what they are, and if she starts to get self-conscious about being watched, sheâll pull the emergency brake. Logically, she knows theyâre your hands, so it shouldnât matter, but logic isnât a factor tonight. Just trust me the first time; you can experiment later, you freak you (wink). ALSO: No music, no TV, no fans, no toys or lubricants, no exceptions.
D. KEEP DRINKING LIQUIDS HANDY. Nothing spoils the party like a girl with blurry vision. China Girl wanted to keep going past the third hour, but her throat hurt from dryness, so she made me drive the car to a gas station and get her a big cup of ice water. Fortunately, I was able to keep her naked in the back seat (the windows were steamed to opaqueness, thank goodness), and I reached back while I drove and continued to finger her. She came three times before I got back to the parking spot. You may not be so lucky.
E. KEEP IT SECRET. If youâre planning on doing this to your sweetie, and she doesnât know yet, thatâs the best way to start. Iâm a big fan of telling each other what you want (to the left, harder, oh baby), but this particular event requires a subtle touch and a good deal of patience. If you can gently get her in the mood, without a lot of the blah-blah-blah we boys are famous for, youâll be in a better position to maneuver emotionally. Does that make sense? What I mean is, when the woman knows sheâs expected to have multiple orgasms, sheâll try too hard, and you wonât be able to charm and woo her back onto the orgasm path. With the expectations missing, thereâs nothing to do but let go and plow ahead.