Cyber Techniques 101

Ah cyber, back in the early days of computing, (I'm talking Commodore 64, DOS and green glowing text on black screens) it must have been difficult to imagine the dynamic sexual potential the computer keyboard and screen held. The simple thought that by properly touching just the right keys on your keyboard you could inspire someone else, perhaps thousands of miles away, to have an orgasm was unfathomable at the time. Of course, all that is now old news as the computer has brought on a whole new way of having sex. Who knows, the next generation of computers may have their own built in vibrating cocks and pussies operating by remote control from your partner's keyboard.

Even now, with some services, sounds, pictures and even video are easily transmitted within an instant message allowing your cyber to become a sophisticated multimedia fuck. Of course such extravagant productions may not work well in an office setting or with a spouse sitting nearby reading the newspaper. So for the many people who, either by choice or lack of computer savvy, simply must use the words in the instant message window there are some things you can do to spice up your cyber love.

I start with a warning, a real problem most people face with text based relationships is that tone does not easily translate into a textual conversation. Voice inflection is lost here, so when you say "Hey, I like your hat," the person you are talking to can't hear you laughing as you say it. They may really believe you like their hat. So be sure when you try some of these techniques that you are messaging with a person who won't suddenly disappear forever if they misinterpret what you are trying to do. Also, some people are easier to impress than others, so don't be devastated when your cutely creative addition to your session goes unnoticed.

Believe it or not, cyber sex, much like real sex, can become stale and boring if you fall into a rut, doing the same things over and over. I mean consider sex while hanging from a chandelier, take it from me, the first time you do it, wow it is sensational, so good you want to do it again. It's wonderful, but come about the fifth or sixth time you do it you begin to notice that it hurts your hands and about the tenth time you prepare to do it, you check the TV guide first to see if anything is good on TV that you can watch instead of having sex while hanging from the chandelier. Well, because it's like that with cyber too, I thought I might suggest a few easy additions to a session to add a tiny bit of wow back into your relations.

Assuming most people know how to modify fonts, text color, background color and that they understand some of the basic text associations such as ALL CAPS is equivalent to shouting and the lower case "i" is submissive I offer the following:

Turn Off The Lights

While many of you do this much of the time in real sex, in cyber the lights are on. Sure while sitting in front of your screen you may have the lights off around you, but if you are working in a standard instant message window the text is appearing on a garish, bright screen. Let's get romantic and turn out the lights on screen. All you do is switch your background to black and your text to white, yellow or other light color that will contrast nicely in the darkness.

Now of course when you send the message, your partner's screen view will change, but their response will switch the screen back to the white background. Simply repeat the change and hopefully they will pick up on the fact that the lights are out, or perhaps you've covered their eyes with a blindfold.

Whisper Sweet Nothings

If your cyber scenario has you in a public place where you must be quiet, or you simply want to whisper softly into your lover's ear, whisper to them. To whisper all you need to do is reduce the contrast in your text, or in other words if you are working on a white background change from a black font to a light gray. Your cyber partner will need to move closer to the screen to read (hear) your whisper. Of course the all caps or bold all caps would be shouting instead of whispering, perhaps appropriate if you are fucking while going over Niagara Falls in a barrel.

Those were just two simple and fun ways to spice up a cyber scenario. I'm sure you've played with some others, perhaps changing a font color or with emoticons, yes those little faces you make with punctuation marks : ) for instance. Of course some of these tricks may be difficult if you are typing single handedly, I'd recommend using two hands on the keyboard and excite your cyber partner first. Once he or she is finished, then you let him or her dazzle you.