Preliminaries:
Note: The following is from the perspective of a heterosexual guy. Replace she with he, her with his, etc. if necessary.
Many women yearn to try this last of the taboos, but there seem to be few statistics on how many like the experience, and even less information on how many repeat it. What follows is based on my own experiences, in the hope that it will help a few more people enjoy this activity. I especially hope some of you go back for more!
Yes, I've done it, and yes I loved it. So did the women involved each time. I'm not trying to brag, but if I accomplish nothing else in life, I'd at least like to think I have made a few converts to the intense pleasures of anal sex. Despite the warnings which follow, it can be amazing and intense for both people when done right!
Warnings, prison jokes, and pain:
One ex-gf of mine had an abusive and physically damaging Experience involving no relaxation, little trust and even less lube! Another friend tells of a boyfriend who was drunk and just jammed straight in the wrong hole, with no warning! Yet another friend tells of her guy coming up behind her, while she brushed her teeth at the sink, and just going for it. Still others have seen that infamous scene in
Deliverance
, and cringe every time they hear "Dueling Banjos". For every person who loves anal, many more tell cautionary tales, relating bad experiences because of inconsiderate partners, wrong or insufficient information, little or no preparation and impatience. The good news is that, with consideration for her, communication, trust and preparation, you can avoid all of this, and hopefully win another over to the dark side of the moon.
Anatomical basics:
"Woe boy, the butt is not just a tighter pussy!" While the vagina can
expand like a balloon to accommodate girth - baby's pop outa there after all – the tissues of the rectum are some of the most delicate in the body. They are not supposed to stretch far, and do
NOT
lubricate themselves. This last bit is most important. Do not believe what you read or see in porn; it is a myth that a little spit on your dong will make it all good. It won't! A little transplanted pussy juice won't sufficiently combat the "ring sting" either! Think about it. We've probably all had a big bowel movement that either hurt coming out, or caused pain we noticed later on. "Hmm, I think I can see the stitching on the baseball!" Blood is not a good lubricant for anything!
Condoms, to use or not to use:
If you're using condoms, do not use those coated in spermacide as the delicate tissues where we're going are easily irritated. Be careful with products containing perfumes, dyes, and sugars. Smucker's Plumb Preserves are not the right lube, despite what Little Jack Horner may have told you. If you're using condoms, also use a water-based lubricant, and lots of it! More than you think you need is almost enough.
If you're not using condoms, assuming things have been nicely inspected, cleaned, prepared and gently probed, and neither of you have STD's or hepatitis, you can use oil-based lubes. Believe it or not, a clean anus is probably no dirtier than the average human mouth, which is actually teeming with nasty bacteria. Personally, I love good ol' baby oil back there. It's delightfully slick and slippery, and it doesn't disappear like some of the water-based lubes do. Besides that, its innocent smell contrasts nicely with the rather raunchy taboo activity you're about to engage in. Cleaning and preparing is a necessary part of it, so enjoy it and think of it as a cleansing ritual. Cuddle in the bath together.
