A Message To A Future Lover

This is the realest story I'm going to write because it's basically a letter to all future lovers of mine and at some point if you are the girl that marries me you will read this. This is a basically a how to for loving me in the erotic manner.

I have used my stories as an outlet.

I knew by middle school that I had these fantasies of being tied up and dominated. I would see these pictures online of people tied up and there was a website called Men in Bondage and many of those shoots became masturbatory material for me.

But this isn't the kind of thing you can talk about at all.

My first semester of high school I developed a crush on a girl but did nothing out shyness and discomfort about this part of me and the thing is my senior year a girl who I had homeroom with signed my yearbook as "I loved dominating you" because we had talked every morning and I wonder if she knew, if she had sensed and it's one of those things I wonder about even today because if she did know and she was that way I would have loved to be dominated by her.

To be clear I am perfectly fine with vanilla sex and in a relationship I am going to want it and I will want plenty of nights where we are a normal couple just having dinner, talking, doing what couples do but there will be nights where I will want to be tied up at my woman's mercy and while I generally prefer to be tied by the pretty girl yes there are nights where I'll want her tied but generally I want to be the one tied.

I wish that 50 Shades had come out back when I was younger, not because it's a good representation because it isn't but because it made it acceptable especially for women.

Most of the stories I have written have been an elucidation of my femdom fantasies rather than my vanilla fantasies because well having watched femdom films and read stories I notice a cruelty often, like the concept of cuckolding or cock torture, or things like that and I don't want that.

If I had a partner who wanted to swing I can do that but when I am married if there are any kids they had damned well better be biologically mine and the idea of being in a relationship where I am cuckolded and am not fucking her while the woman fucks whoever she wants is so unacceptable but so many dominant women are into that and I'm not into financial domination either, I want a woman who is successful and as ambitious as I am and if possible as intelligent as I am. I for one am turned on by smart girls.

And so it's going to be so hard because I'd also like to say spend a week tied up by a girl and how do you find someone who is into that?

I am being this honest because I kept this bottled up for so long and didn't pursue it and I realize it has caused much unhappiness. I once told a girl in college drunk about it knowing she was a bit of a gossip hoping that she'd spread it around to someone who was interested in this and maybe she'd find someone to truss me up.

It's so awful to be this way especially when I grew up.

And I do have the foot fetish. I do have the fetish about being tied up and forced to smell the inside of her heel (which is why it makes it into so many stories of mine.) I do like being hogtied. I like soft gags. I have bought a ballgag and I don't like it in part because I have a physically small mouth but I know the ball gag has its purpose and if there was say a softer form of ballgag and not a hard plastic one maybe that could be easier to take.

I have done self-bondage on myself since middle school.

And I have wanted to be double dommed and I realized when I used this shower head to clean out my rear a few years ago and the jet of water went in and I felt a pleasurable sensation that I might like that and I had always read these domination stories where the girl would use a dildo or otherwise anally stimulate but once I felt that jet I realized I might be into that too.

And I am a strong ambitious alpha male, so how I can be into that?

And can I find a woman who'll do the dominant things I want when I want her to while respecting me, loving me, and treating me right?

That's why I write these stories. To clearly elucidate the submissive things I'm interested in and would like to experience because I feel like at least once a week I need to be tied at her feet, gagged, and I don't like cruelty. I want to be dominated but I want her to be sweet. Like on TV when they have those episodes where the mascot from the rival school is kidnapped and there is always a girl who is sweet to that mascot while not letting go.

That has always how I've wanted to be dominated though again the banter I have in my stories is the banter I'd like to have.

I wish I didn't have a foot fetish but I do. I wish I didn't have a bondage fetish but I do. It's always made me feel so weird. But I realize if I am to have a happy marriage I'll have to have a wife who'll do this for me and so I write these stories.

And I'd like to be tied at least once a week for a few hours, tied so I can think of nothing but the moment.

I wish I wasn't such a sick pervert but this is a part of me and anyone who loves me will accept it and indulge me in it.

There will be times when I want to be gagged with stockings or socks or panties. There will be times when I want to wear a ballgag or a ring gag or bit gag. There are going to be times when I want to be dressed like a girl (and when that happens it'll always been when I'm tied) and there will be times when I want other women to join in.

The submissive side of me is a part of. But it doesn't mean I'll accept abuse or disrespect. The place for the expression of it is in a truly loving relationship and again, I would not want to submit to anyone who would not be willing, at least on occasion, to let me take the reins.

Having said that yes there will be times when I would want to be in control and then just times where it is normal vanilla activities and then even beyond that in terms of a relationship I want the same kind of loving relationship most people have, which means long walks on the beach, romantic dinners, and all that other stuff, I'm turned on by letting a woman have control obviously but I'm not interested in being a "slave."

I have been doing this simply because I realize when I am married I want to be happily married, I look at marriage as a partnership, and I want wifey to at least share the same goals and ambitions for the partnership as I do and I am not going to hide this from any woman I want to marry, in fact I'll have her read this and all the stories because if I can't be accepted for who I am, all of me, then there's no point in being in a relationship.

A relationship is where you should be able to be loved and grow together, and that's ultimately what I want.