Your Personal Librarian

As I watched him leave, I tried to get back to work but it was hopeless. I felt stunned by his abrupt exit yet extremely aroused to have been used as his toy, a toy he could take or leave at any moment.

I replayed the scene in my head over and over. He was all I could think about. I was completely enamored. This man who was nearly 30 years my senior was absolutely the sexiest man I had ever known. It was more than his statuesque physique, mischievous smile and earnest gaze. He was sensual, creative and kind, with decades of experience under his belt giving him the quiet confidence a younger man could never have.

His enigmatic nature intrigued me. I wanted to know more about him and how to please him. I admired his intelligence and his accomplishments. His stature made me weak in the knees while being near him could easily bring me to my knees. This I knew and on my knees before him was where I wanted to be.

All of this gave him great power over me, power I wanted him to have.

I wanted him in every way imaginable, with every fiber of my being. I wanted him to take what I was offering and demand even more of me than I could think to give.

I was consumed.

Somehow I made it through the rest of my workday and went home. That night I lay in bed and recounted the day's events, my brain no less calm than it was when he left the library, my cunt still as wet as it had been.

I was alternately aroused and anxious, the anxiety caused by my need to plan. While I wanted him to be in control, the lack of knowing the plan drove me a little bit crazy. I knew I would see him again, but he did not tell me when. I could not plan for when I would see him. I couldn't add it to my calendar or my to do list. I just had to be ready for whenever he decided he wanted to see me. It was his game and I was his pawn.

I tried to bat away the anxiety with fantasies about how I wanted him to use me. We had talked a little bit about it, but it was so difficult for me to put my desires in words, I kept a lot to myself. I knew eventually I would have to share those things with him, he would get it out of me one way or another and I wanted him to get it out of me. I wanted to be challenged. I wanted to say the words to him, but...the words didn't always come when I wanted them.

They did come to me in the middle of the night when all of my thoughts were of him. I spread my legs and pulled up my nightgown. I cupped my oversize tits in my small hands, flesh overflowing, imagining his hand twisting and pulling, pulling my breasts away from my body by grasping only my nipples, the gravity fighting against the pull.

My fantasies flitted through my brain in brief scenes. Kneeling naked before him, sucking his cock as he stands looking down on me. Being fucked by him for the first time, Sir standing behind me and sliding his thick cock deep into my slick cunt, pounding my womb, taking possession of it. Being tied spread eagle to a table as he allows his friends to fuck me then cover my tits in their cum. Listening to them talk about me as if I wasn't there, knowing I was his property as they discuss the merits of my different holes and which they would like to fuck next.

I imagined what he might use as he played with his fuck toy, floggers and crops, bits and blindfolds, ropes and chains, clips and clamps, knives and needles, the violet wand and the TENS. The things I hated and the things I loved and the things I had yet to meet and couldn't even imagine.

I didn't know what he planned and that made me anxious, but I trusted him and knew he would take us where he wanted to go. Giving control to him was not going to be a simple game despite how much I wanted to play the game with him.

I was on edge most of the next day as I worked, waiting to see if he would come to the library. I was dressed as he instructed, ready for him should he decide to see me. As the day wore on, I did not hear from him. Agitated, I checked for messages as often as I could throughout the day but there was nothing from him.

I didn't expect to see him everyday, but as obsessed as I was, I held out hope. I felt a little lost not hearing from him which made me feel ridiculous. I was an adult, capable of making my own decisions, running my own life. I didn't need a man to make me feel complete..did I?

The feminist in me kept telling me I was being a stupid, insipid weakling, not the intelligent professional woman I had worked so hard to become. Yet, there I was. Pathetically longing for this man to dominate me and I couldn't help myself. Thinking about him and craving his touch, my cunt dripping, desiring his cock and the feel of his fist twisted in my hair, pulling me where he wanted me when really there was no need to pull - I would go willingly. My need to please him, now unleashed, could not be quelled.

My emotions in turmoil, I did my best to focus on the work at hand and helping patrons. Then, towards the end of my shift as I was outside at the dumpsters recycling old newspapers, finally feeling calm and that I had my emotions under control, he appeared with that knowing smile , "Hi, Eileen. How's your day?"

Relief and excitement flooded through me as I looked down at my filthy inky-newsprint covered hands and shook my head. At that moment, I wasn't sure I could handle the emotional ups and downs I experienced since I last saw him only yesterday. It was exhausting. I looked up at him, still shaking my head and biting my lip, unable to speak the words that swirled around my brain.

He looked at me with care and concern as he placed a comforting hand on my waist. Then, in an instant, I saw his expression change to a devilish grin and I knew he had something in mind that would make it all worthwhile.