What She Needs

TRIGGER WARNING

This story contains elements that some may not wish to read. I will list them below.

Degradation

Pain

Piss

Depictions/allusions to mental health, trauma, and self-harm

Along with these I have included healing, love, and aftercare

I left work with one thing on my mind. Not really a surprise I guess, who can blame me considering what was waiting for me at home? I defy anyone to know what awaited me and be able to think about anything else after a long day of meetings and repeating myself time and again to rich arrogant douchebags who refused to admit that they had no idea what they were talking about?

Anyway, as you can probably guess I drove home with visions of her in my head. Soft gentle curves, long brown hair, the biggest brightest eyes you've ever seen looking up at you. And that mouth... the single most perfect set of lips to ever slide around a cock and a teasing tongue to match. I could feel my pants tightening as I imagined running my thumb across those lips, seeing them open eagerly for me.

My attention was suddenly brought back to the road in front of me as a sea of brake lights suddenly sprang to life and the flow of traffic ground to a sudden halt. I didn't bother suppressing the growl of frustration that sounded from my throat as we inched through a seemingly endless line of orange cones. Construction seemed to be a constant thing around here, but it was still the best way home. Honestly, I didn't usually let it bother me, but today it was holding me up and I was just about done with delays.

At least I was in my air-conditioned car rather than sweating my ass off with the guys I was passing by in their bright orange vests. I grabbed my bottle from the holder and took a long gulp of the icy water as I waited, though impatiently, for traffic to pick up. It didn't. By the time I got home the bottle was empty and the pressure in my pants was from something more urgent even than my hunger for her. I cursed the heat and my tendency to drink during long boring car rides, realizing my plan of walking in the door and claiming her mouth immediately would have to wait for another time. I felt bad, thinking that she was probably waiting there by the door on her knees hoping exactly for that and would be disappointed when I had to pass by.

She wasn't there. For the first time I can remember I was actually relieved to not see her on her knees, perky tits on display, waiting for my arrival. At least I wasn't going to have to let her down and could take care of my business before returning to find her. Setting down my briefcase I turned to walk through the house. Passing by the living room I glanced in and saw here there, and the sight made me freeze in my tracks. She wasn't waiting for me, displayed and eager for Daddy's attention. She was sitting on the couch, looking out the window, apparently lost in thought. It was the tenseness in her body that stopped me though. Shoulders hunched; legs brought up under her rather than swinging lazily.

My urgent need forgotten I stepped into the room towards her, though she appeared to not notice me. I could almost feel the waves of tension and anxiety rolling off her and knew that something had happened. I was about to speak up to ask her what was wrong when I caught the motion of her hand idly rubbing back and forth across her upper thigh. My breath caught as I was instantly taken back almost twenty years, standing in another room staring at another girl rubbing her thigh in the same way.

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"You should go Alex."

Julie's voice was quiet as she said it, refusing to look in my eyes as she sat there on the couch looking like she was trying to disappear into it. Her long brown hair covered her lovely face and her hand kept coming back to her thigh, her thumb brushing across her jeans above the scars I knew hid beneath. I had seen them there, thin white lines crossing her thigh, each one the reminder of one of the bad days.

"No Jules," I begged, knowing what she was going to do and desperate to stop her, to protect her. "Let me stay. Let's do something, play a game, anything!"

"No... I need to be alone." Her voice was small but stubborn and she still refused to meet my eyes.

"Please," I said again, stepping toward her.

"You can't help me Alex, just go." Her voice was colder now, trembling with emotion. "I don't need a teddy bear right now."

That's all I was to her. Just a big teddy bear to comfort her when she wanted it. It didn't matter if I wanted more, didn't matter if I ached to have her as my own. Because I could never tell her how I felt. If she knew the thoughts and feelings I kept shoved down, she'd be terrified of me. So, I was her teddy bear. Big quiet comfortable Alex watching by as she dated jerks and fuck boys who never treated her right. I felt it inside me at the thought, burning in my chest growling that she should be MINE. That she'd be safe from them with me. Then I could take her, have her... Shaking my head I shoved down the beast and bit back the retort that had been inches from leaving my tongue. She might be safe from them with me. But who would keep her safe from me? Shaking my head I left the house, knowing that when I saw her tomorrow, she'd have another scar written into her flesh with the razor blade she kept hidden in her room.

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With a jolt I was back in my house, years older and much wiser than the scared eighteen-year-old me had been. Once again, I was looking at a girl poised above a ledge and ready to fall off, but this time I was not powerless. I knew what she needed, knew that this wasn't something I could cure with comforting hugs and kisses, even from her Daddy. She didn't need a Teddy Bear, but a beast. I understood a little of the need that had driven her to create her own scars in the past and knew that need had to be fulfilled. But I also knew that it wasn't as easy as pulling her over my knee and spanking her until she cried, and her ass was bruised. That pain would not sate the need she felt, in fact I doubt she'd even feel it at this point. She was lost in her world, and I would have to forge a connection to that world before I could give her what she needed.

Looking inside I allowed the beast to waken in my chest. It's been a long time since I learned to accept and embrace the monster that I had always feared and kept hidden away and I no longer felt shame as I welcomed the fiery possessiveness, the sadistic and selfish need, the insatiable ravenous hunger that burned in my chest, swelling my body with power and passion. I know that physically nothing had changed in my body, but I know of no other way to describe the experience. I looked at her and it was as if I saw her with new eyes as I stepped into the room.

"Snap out of it little slut, get up!" I growled at her as I stepped to the middle of the room, watching her eyes snap up to mine. "Get over here, you have a job to do."

"Y...Yes Sir," she stammered softly, and I could see her struggling to pull herself out of her world of anxiety and fear. If only I could let her... but I knew it wouldn't last. It would just be a distraction. She stumbled to her feet, looking at me uncertainly, not used to my harsh tone.

"Did I say you could walk?" I growled at her. "Vile little creatures like you don't deserve to walk. Crawl."

Immediately she sank to her knees and crawled over to where I waited. As she looked up at me, I could see in her eyes as she started to sink back into the cloud of haze in her mind. Without a word I walked away, knowing she would follow. "In the bathroom little bitch. I said over my shoulder as I walked to the closet and pulled off my jacket and tie. "I need to piss."

I saw her freeze just for a moment, her cheeks flushing in shame. And probably excitement knowing her.... She didn't dare question me though. She'd recognized the beast in my words, in my bearing, and she knew better than to provoke it. When I walked into the bathroom, she had put herself on her knees between the shower and the toilet, her face hidden by her hair as she looked down in shame. "Look up whore. You know you like it. Come on, give Daddy a smile." My voice was harsh and cruel, mocking even as she looked up at me smiling as she watched me unbuckle my belt and open my pants.

"You know," I said with a smirk. "I almost bought it. That sweet innocent smile you plastered on your face. Well, it wasn't enough to convince me. Because we both know what a pathetic little bitch you are don't we? Open up slut."

Her mouth fell open immediately and I could see it in her eyes. So filled with self-loathing and despair, yet so desperate to be useful, to somehow make it right by serving me, by fulfilling my needs. Her breath coming in sharp gasps as the first stream of piss splashes across her face and her eyes closed in shame and bliss, her body shivering.

"Tell me what you are," I commanded, watching as my piss soaked her hair and face, filling her mouth as she fought to answer.

"Your pi..." she choked as my stream hit her tongue, cutting off the response.

"I can't hear you. I said tell me what you are" I said with a menacing growl.

Somehow around a mouth full of my piss she managed to say it, the words slurred and garbled. "I'm your little piss slut" she moaned. I could see her eyes on my cock, watching as it thickened and strengthened despite the piss splashing over her. Directing my stream away from her mouth I heard her whine at the loss, trying to follow it to catch more on her tongue.

"I couldn't even hear you with how eager you were to taste my piss. Such a pathetic whore" I said it as I turned and walked away, leaving her kneeling there covered in my piss and closing the door behind me. Just on the other side of the door I stood and waited as she sank deeper and deeper, knowing that she wouldn't think of moving. She knew that she was exactly where she needed to be, kneeling on the floor with my piss drying on her skin, still tasting it with each swallow.

Eventually I walked back in, noting that she didn't even look up, as if she didn't hear me.

"Little one," I said softly and watched as her eyes shot up to me, her mouth falling open as if to receive more. "Damn, you really are gone, aren't you?" I admired her open mouth, the hunger burning higher inside. "Well, I guess I might as well make use of it." I said with a chuckle as I pushed my cock into her mouth. "You know this is all you're good for, right?"

She moaned deeply as I fucked her mouth and throat, her body relaxing as my words took root in her empty mind and she gladly accepted it. She knew she was in her proper place, nothing but a weak, pathetic, disgusting whore. Tears fell from her eyes even as her lips curled in a smile around my cock, so happy to be useful.

I fucked her throat harder, deeper, my hands tightening into fists in her crusted hair, letting the beast feed on its prey. Finally, I felt myself swelling, felt the tightening in my balls as I got closer. "This is what you're good for isn't it? Just a hole to put my piss and my load. Isn't that right little whore?" And with that I came, flooding her mouth with my load. She choked and swallowed, her eyes looking up but unseeing, her body instinctively trying to get more of my cum to swallow down. Again, I walked away leaving her kneeling there covered in piss, spit, and cum. Again, she didn't follow, didn't speak, she just knelt there. Taking a moment to calm the beast I felt the hunger lessen and my concern return. When I came back in, I knew she was ready, finally sunk deep enough to accept what she needed, but now I was there with her, it was my voice ringing in her ears, filling her mind. And it would be my hand that delivered the blissful pain.

I pulled the clothes from her body, and she moved automatically, raising her arms and stepping out of her soaked jeans. Finally, she stood before me naked, shivering slightly from the cold. I reached out, sliding my hand down her side before gathering her skin between my fingers and pinching sharply. A gasp rang out in the bathroom as the pain jolted through her mind. Moving my hand, I did it again, sharply pinching and twisting her skin, knowing I'd leave a mark behind. She gasped and whined, her head shaking slightly.

"I know this is what you need little one." I said softly. "Let me be the one to do it. Let me help you feel."

Next, I pinched under her tits, sending sharp stings of pain through her body and mind. I could see her responding, whimpering at the pain, and the release. Pulling my belt from the floor I bent her over the counter and ran my fingers across her ass, exploring the soft skin. The first swing of my belt came down across her ass with a whistle and a crack of leather on skin. She moaned and arched back, her eyes closing.

Again, my belt came down on her ass, leaving a red welt across the pale perfect skin. Again, she moaned in pain and release, her eyes opening again and falling on her reflection. Giving her ass a break, I reached down to her leg and pinched sharply, making sure to keep the pain flowing through her body.

I continued to punish her body, my hands and belt leaving her striped and marked, the pain building higher and higher. Finally, I twisted my wrist and brought the swinging belt down between her legs, the leather cracking against her clit. She screamed in pain and her body shook in release. I saw the flood of her cream sliding down her thighs and held her up as her knees shook.

"Baby girl. My good girl. Daddy's here. Daddy's got you. I'm here." My voice was low and soft as I held her quivering body in my arms, her head on my shoulder. I kept repeating the words, whispering them into her ear until her mind cleared enough to hear them. Finally I found her eyes lifting to mine. her body was loose, relaxed and I could see how drained she was.

"Shhh baby girl. It's ok. You're ok. Look at me Princess," I said soothingly as she started to look around. I tilted her head up to look at me, my eyes looking down at to meet her gaze with love and concern. "You did good little one. So good. My perfect little one. My favorite little princess. So good for me.

I slid my thumb across her mouth, and she looked up at me, her eyes pleading.

"Go ahead," I said with a smile.

Eagerly she started sucking on my thumb, her tongue sliding along the pad of my thumb as she suckled it. I watched as she came back to me, coming back to the surface. "That's my girl," I said with praise. "Take your time little one. I'm not going anywhere. Daddy's got you."

Finally, she looked up at me letting my thumb fall from her mouth and she smiled at me. "Hi Daddy," she said shyly. "I'm back."

"Welcome back little one." I said softly and kissed her lips. "How do you feel?"

"Free Daddy.... I feel free."

My heart melted and I held her to me. "Thank you for letting me be the one to hurt you rather than hurting yourself. Thank you for being mine."