Most people won't understand my story. They will think there is something wrong with me or that I'm somehow mentally ill. I'm sure that most will call it Stockholm syndrome and dismiss the feelings that I have. At this point in my life, I cannot care what others think of the choices I've made. I'm happier than most and it all comes back to this one story. This one instance of chance, fantasy, and adventure. Other people may have experienced things like this, but they usually end or begin by saying "what I wish I'd known before" or something to that effect. You won't hear me crying over buyer's remorse. You won't hear me wishing I'd known something in advance or that I wasn't fully aware of what was going to happen. I can assure you that it isn't Stockholm syndrome – how could it be when I wanted everything that occurred? Without it, I don't know where I'd be.
It started as a joke.
Horny. That's the only word I can use to describe the month of August. I had recently broken up with a boyfriend and realized I was interested in BDSM. I'd read tons of erotic literature, but never made the connection that I was interested. Heavily interested. I created a new email address with a fake name, put up a profile on a dating website, and began reading personal ads for fun. Occasionally, one would catch my eye and I'd respond from the fake email. All the while, I continued to be horny. So horny that I would have to fix it two to three times a day.
After reading several ads, I decided I should post my own. I had seen a guy at the store that I was interested in, so I went to "missed connections" and wrote a little blurb about him. I received several responses, none of them were the guy, but one day, a response caught my eye. He was witty and ridiculous – just like me. We started emailing regularly. I never realized how far it would go.
Will was a business man. We agreed to keep our personal lives a secret, so we never discussed where we worked. When we sent pictures, they were always from the neck down. He seemed to be a well built guy and a very interesting person. He made me laugh. We laughed about how he was stalking me, I joked that it would be cool to be kidnapped. As I said, I'd been reading a lot of erotic literature. The idea of an anonymous encounter that started as a kidnapping just tripped my trigger for some reason. I never really believed someone would accommodate my wish...
I was walking briskly in the fall air. Work had ended for the week, I was overjoyed. Added to the joy of the inevitable weekend, I was pleased that this was a rare freebie for me. My children were scheduled to be away from home for the next two nights. I smiled as my phone chimed with an email. As I said it had become a regular thing – him messaging me throughout the day, making me smile, discussing our deepest darkest thoughts. I opened the message and stopped dead in my tracks, heart in my throat.
From: Will
To: Me
Subject: Re: Re: Hey
Message:
Turn around, pretty girl.
The joke about kidnapping popped into my mind. I tried to shake the instant panic that filled my stomach, but what if he really was behind me? He knew that my mother was keeping my children tonight and mother in law had them tomorrow. Maybe he decided to make fantasy a reality? Would that be so bad? I started walking quicker; head down, with my jacket tucked around my body. I heard the rev of an engine before my phone chimed again. I opened the message before reaching my car door.
From: Will
To: Me
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Hey
Message:
I said... turn around. If you won't... I'll just come to you.
As I read the last word, I heard the slamming of a car door. I glanced up to see a dark van parked behind my car – I wouldn't be able to reverse out of my spot. A man stood off to the side of the van. He was about 6'3"; a dark knit cap was on his head, his leather jacket zipped to the chin, and his hands in his pockets. Aviator sunglasses covered his eyes and his mouth was set in a hard line. The panic I had been trying to breathe past was suffocating me now. My heart was pounding so hard I couldn't hear anything but the blood rushing in my ears. I had worked late, so there was no one around. The man beside the van slowly walked toward my frozen frame. He smiled when he reached me, but it wasn't a friendly smile. I tried to swallow, but it sounded more like a gulp.
"Come along," the man said in a deep voice.
"Who are you?" I asked breathily.
No more words were spoken as he grabbed my arm and slung me into the open van. The door slammed behind me before I could think to do anything else. He climbed into the front seat and sped out of the parking lot. With the jerking movements of the vehicle, I was slammed into the far wall of the van. A sharp pain radiated through my head, but seconds later the world went black.
When I came to, the van wasn't moving. I was disoriented as I took in my surroundings. I listened for any tell tale sounds to indicate where I was, but there was nothing. Twilight was moving across the sky at a steady pace and I knew it must be after 7. I heard shuffling outside the van door. I pressed myself against the wall that I'd been slammed into. A mewling noise was coming from the back of my throat, but I couldn't seem to control my fear. When the door opened, the street lights flooded the interior. I blinked a few times to clear my vision. The man, my captor, grabbed me bodily and pulled me from the warmth and safety of the dark van. He was chuckling softly as he led me down a concrete pathway. I stumbled once and he steadied me. That was the first kindness he showed me. The panic in my throat subsided for a moment as I considered it.
At the end of the concrete pathway was a modest ranch style house. We came to a door at the side of the home and he quickly unlocked the door to usher me in. The foyer was small and steps directly to the right. After flicking a light switch, my captor led me gently down the stairs. Once we entered the basement, I felt my breath catch in my throat. The basement to this modest home was a play dungeon. My heart began to pound and a small smile played at the edges of my lips. The phrase "be careful what you wish for" resounded in my head, but I couldn't be mad at myself. I actually felt the beginnings of excitement tingle throughout my body.
Once we were in the center of the room, my "captor" spread his arms gesturing to the toys. "What do you think, Laila?"
I tried to school my features and continue the game, "Nice, why am I here?"
"I think you know," he said softly, turning to face me.
I glanced at the floor and then back at him, "Maybe, but tell me anyway, please?"
An expression passed quickly on his face before it returned to blank emptiness. I believe he understood my reluctance to admit I knew why I was there. Extending his arm, he pulled me roughly to him. "I've claimed you as mine, Laila."
After being roughly handled, my heart started thundering again. I struggled slightly, but he held firm. "Yours?" I asked breathily. "I belong to no one."
"Wrong."
A frown found its way to my face, "What?"
"You're wrong, lovely. You're mine. I have a present for you," he said turning to a box on the table.
Before I could ask what it was, he had fastened something around my neck. My hands instantly went to it, but I couldn't make it budge. The material felt like soft leather with studs. He had put a collar on me. After examining the way it looked, he brought his lips to mine. I tried to pull away, but he held me in place by the collar. His teeth grazed my lips and I felt his tongue force its way into my mouth. Struggling was pointless, but I continued to try. I couldn't seem to get enough of feeling him hold me in place. A low moan escaped my throat and I felt him smile against my mouth. "Eager?" he asked quietly.
I didn't respond, but continued to observe the room he had brought me to. Nailed to the far wall were various boards securing cuffs. There were ones at roughly six feet off the ground, one six inches higher, one six inches lower, and so on. In a box by the cuffs were various utensils. I couldn't discern what all was in the box, but my heart rate spiked again. I felt his hands on my chin as he redirected my face.
"I asked you a question. I expect an answer."
I swallowed past my fear, "What question?"
He sighed and pushed me into a chair. Silently, he sat across from me and seemed to be collecting his thoughts. "I'm going to go over some ground rules, Laila. These will be finite rules and if you break them, you will be punished. Do you understand?"
I nodded wordlessly before swallowing audibly. Goosebumps sprung up on my arms and I felt a tingle growing in my center.
"Speak, Laila," he said with a smirk.
"Yes," I replied softly.
"Yes, what, baby?"
I raised an eyebrow before schooling my features, "Yes, sir?"
"Absolument," he said with a grin. [Absolutely]
"Parlez-vous Français?" [Do you speak French?]
"Oui, et toi?" [Yes, and you?]
"Un peu..." I said glancing at the floor. [A little]
"Well, we'll just have to work on that. Won't we?"
"Oui, monsieur." [Yes, sir]
"Ooo, Laila, j'aime la façon dont les sons!" [I like the way that sounds] my captor said with a smile. He picked me up as he finished his statement. Then he grabbed my hips and slammed himself against me. I could feel how much he liked the way it sounded. We tumbled onto a mattress in the corner of the room. My shirt was over my head before I could register what was happening. The silk sheets brushed against my bare shoulders and I sighed into his mouth. "Laila," he sang.
"Oui, monsieur?" I breathed softly.
He took a moment to grind his hips against me and moaned before speaking. "Do you like the way the silk feels against your skin, ma cherie?"His voice was tight with anticipation.
"Oui, monsieur, oui," I said holding my hands out tentatively. I wanted to touch him, but I was unsure of the rules.
He nodded once, "You may touch me, Laila."
I slid my hands down his muscled back and sighed. He was so soft and smelled so good. "Are we," I started to say before he shushed me. I felt his hands travelling down my torso. I inhaled sharply as he removed the cups of my bra, leaving me bare to the cool air. The tingling in my center spread throughout my limbs and just when I felt I couldn't take it anymore, he flicked his tongue across the tip of my exposed skin. I moaned loudly as he took the sensitive skin into his mouth and worked his tongue. Quickly, the tingling turned to throbbing and I arched my back. I wanted to press as much of me against as much of him as I could. He pulled back enough to look at me before he claimed my mouth with his. The kiss was intense, hands were everywhere, and I felt a pressure growing inside my body. I wanted him to release it; it was quickly becoming an urgent need. "Laila," he said softly, "Laila, call me sir."
"Yes, sir," I moaned when he claimed the nipple again. His hand travelled farther down my body and fumbled with the button to my dress pants. Growing frustrated, he pulled back and grabbed both ends and ripped. I cried out, but not from fear. I could feel moisture accumulating and I arched my back again.
"Just for a minute, love," he said as he placed one of my hands into a cuff. "I want you to touch me, but right now, I need you secured. It may get a little intense for a minute."
I stared up at his eyes as he enclosed my other wrist in the leather strap. He pulled a cord up from behind the mattress and secured the clasp at the end to the ring on my collar. The top half of my body was safely secured to the mattress. I struggled slightly and arched my back.
"You like testing it, don't you, baby?"
I nodded and felt the pull from the cord behind the mattress. I moaned again feeling completely confined and at his mercy. "Please," I whispered.
"Please? Please, what, mon amour?"
