My very own slutty milf.
"Would you like a cup of tea? I could run to a slice of fruitcake as well or a sandwich if you're hungry."
Mrs Lacy was a very attractive woman for someone of that age, that age being somewhere around mine. So having just spent the last 4 hours or more working hard on her boiler, I was ready for one.
Not that she hadn't offered before, she had, several times. That superb rear end of her's was a constant distraction to me, I kept thinking my sooty hand print on the cream cloth of the tight skirt covering her bum would look lovely. Well it would to my eye! It was distracting me and in boiler repair work distraction is a very bad thing.
"I'd love one now and I'm starving I said is there any chance of that sandwich."
"Will ham and salad do? To be honest, it's all I have at the moment", she replied.
"It will be perfect Mrs Lacy, thank you."
With a big smile, she said. "If you get those stinky dirty overalls off I will allow you in my kitchen to eat it."
"I don't think that's going to work Mrs Lacy, I'm afraid the soot has got up my arms, down my neck and up my trouser legs as well. I'm not fit to be let into a pigsty at the moment."
I'd been asked to help out by a mutual friend in Mrs Lacy's hour of need. All I was told was Mrs Lacy, a widow, was stuck with a broken boiler and was being told she needed a new one. So I came over, just for a look but I went in my van, just in case.
I am supposed to be retired due to a serious permanent back injury that has just confounded my doctor, and "got better" I'm an embarrassment to the old company I am on paper their senior regional engineer. I had precious little to do before, I'm bored to tears now.
They thought I was gone for good. They promoted the best man on my team so although I'm employed and the check comes in every month I don't have a job to do. I need to be busy, I'd love a job but I cannot get past a medical examination. I had a meeting with my director and someone from the HR department. I think they are going to offer me early retirement on medical grounds.
I need another hobby, I tried golf, and that interested me for at least five minutes, like the great man said, a good walk spoiled! Anyone want to buy a nearly new set of golf clubs?
Calls like this are a blessing, it's something to engage me, I can only go fishing so many times a week. My bowls game has got so good now with the extra practice I get, no one wants to play with me.
The boiler was a bit of a surprise. It was an oil boiler, in an old outhouse, it had been set up incorrectly, purposely I think. Mrs Lacy's fly-by-night plumber was trying to trick her into scraping it so he could con her into buying a new one.
It was solid with soot and my not having the vacuum cleaner I used for servicing oil boilers didn't help. I had scraped, hacked, shovelled and managed. It took me ages but I cleaned it up and set the air and oil adjustments to burn correctly and prevent any more soot from forming.
"You simply cannot eat out here in my outhouse, it's full of the dead plants I've cursed with my dreadful gardening abilities."
"I cannot come into your home like this," I said.
Her reply "then go and shower, in there, leave your clothes and I will wash and dry them."
When I got out my clothes were still in the washing machine and a white terry bathrobe and a pair of hotel slippers were waiting for me.
"I'm sorry, there is tea but I'm afraid the ham is off, it smells funny. I was going shopping today but when Jenny told me you were coming I waited in." Then came the dreadful news, the milk was off, no tea.
"Look you have saved me from the plumber from hell." Your clothes will be another hour yet. How about I drive you around to your place so you can change and then we can go to the pub for something decent and if I guess correctly a beer or two. I absolutely insist on paying."
I agreed, "if we are going for a drink and a meal together I cannot keep calling you Mrs Lacy. "You can call me Vee, my name is Vera but I hate it."
"OK. I like Vee, it suits you, please call me Garry.
When we got to my place I was shocked to see the time was nearly 7.30 pm. I said to Vee I didn't realise it was so late, we are looking at dinner, not lunch."
"Yes, do you still want to go to the pub or have you other plans?"
"I did have, Vee but they are nowhere near as attractive as taking a gorgeous woman out for the evening. Quite frankly no one there will miss me much. So if you will allow me I'd like to take you out to dinner."
"But it's my treat," said Vee."
"Ohh no! You don't get off with putting up with me one outing. The amount of time I spent shovelling shhhh er soot out of your boiler has to be worth two dates at the very least."
"Well, no one has called me gorgeous for a long time. Two is, the very least I can do. If you can put up with my non-stop chatter. I do wish you would let me pay though."
We decided on dinner at a pub come restaurant nearby. While we were eating Vee asked me where I intended to go that evening. I think she was expecting me to say darts in my local or something like that. She was a bit surprised when I said there is a Rock 'n' Roll club that holds a weekly meeting nearby at the British Legion.
"Do they dance there," she asked."
"Yes we do", I replied, "that's pretty much the point of it."
"Do you dance", she went on.
"Oh yes. I love it, love the music, love the culture, wish I was a bit better though."
"Will you take me? I love dancing, I assume it's all jiving."
"I'd love to, when do you want to go?"
"Can we go next time?"
"We can, but I DJ every other dance and it will be my turn next time."
"Can I be your DJ groupie?"
"If you want to go and see it, it doesn't stop until midnight, it's not 9 O'clock yet."
"Can I go home on the way, I can't jive in these shoes."
"Of course, we can but we have to go to mine as well, I could probably dance in what I've got on but if I have the right girl, I need to look like the right boy!"
"What look are you going for Vee asked" as we parked on her drive. "You will have to wait and see. It's just that I always go there in my old car."
"Oh," after seeing my stinking dirty van she was a bit apprehensive. "what is it!"
"You will have to wait and see!" I replied mischievously.
When she came out she looked perfect. I know most people laugh at anyone who lives a lifestyle but in my eyes, she was near perfect.
Crimson red under-the-knee dress with one-inch white polka dots. Black seemed stockings, God, please let them be stockings. Strappy stilettos that looked four-and-a-half-inch at least. Red to match the dress and a red rose in her blond hair.
Then she proved she was perfect. A quick twirl with a dress hem designed to fly proved to me they were stockings. I saw quite a few black suspenders daring those stocking tops to try to move. that quickened my pulse.
"I haven't been to a dance for five years, I'm so glad it all still fits I'm afraid the stockings aren't quite authentic. I haven't any in tan that aren't laddered. My underwear is more 21st-century slutty milf than 50's teenage girl.
I do hope that after all this trouble we are going to park on the way home. She gave me a theatrical wink."
"You are as my poor old mum would say not backwards in coming forward Vee are you."
"I can't afford to be Kevin. If you will forgive the language I haven't had a good fucking since my husband died 9 years ago, to be honest, I haven't even had a bad one for five years. I know jive clubs very well, Roger, my old man and I used to dance in a show troupe called Ready Steady Jive".
Oh good god, I remember you now. I saw you dance a few times. You're good! A lot better than I am." My heart sank for a moment or two. I thought I'm going to get the elbow here.
"That's as maybe. But have you any idea how many married men go to jive clubs just to get their hands on a pair of tits and a quick feel of an arse? That's no good at all to me, I have needs as well. If I told you that my hope for tonight is a dance or two then a good rogering in the back seat of your car would you be shocked?"
"No, I'd just be a bit more relaxed about if my dancing was good enough to get me another date."
She gave me a big lipstick-smudging kiss. "If you can manage the basic step, and three moves you can buy a season ticket for the two of us for this club. I've missed my dancing. Over and above that, as long as you don't make a mess on my stockings you get a free pass to my bedroom."
"I'm an old-fashioned girl Garry, I've been looking for an honest-to-goodness old-fashioned man for 5 years. I know you're honest. You didn't try to sell me a new boiler, you could have easily.
You open doors for me, I do like that, and you have been letching after my bottom since you got here without trying it on. I like that as well.
If I were 15 and had all the time in the world I'd be telling my friend to tell your friend to tell you I fancy you. I'm not 15, I'm on the wrong side of 51, I do fancy you, and I love your strong arms. I hope I've read the signs right and you fancy me.
Take me to this dance, buy me a drink or two then bring me home and screw my not-so-little bottom off."