Valerie

Chapter Seven

Growth of Pain

Sally woke before Valerie, but had no desire to leave her lover. She rested against Valerie's body and took in the sight and sound of the sleeping woman, bound, yet free to be who she really was. The smell of old sex was thick in the air, acrid with time. Her hands absentmindedly caressed Valerie's arms and legs, belly and face. Valerie woke up gently in the arms of a lover, moaning in pleasure.

"Is that Mistress or Sally back there?"

"Sally this morning. How are you?"

"Relaxed. Horny. Eager for tonight."

"Me, too. Do you have to work?"

"No, I took some personal days."

"We need to shower. First or second?"

"You go first. I want to lie in my bonds a little longer. They feel…safe."

"I know what you mean. What are we going to do if we both want to sleep bound?"

"Ask Francine?"

They chuckled at the thought, both thinking that every submissive should live with a dominant.

Sally showered first, changing back into her clothes from the previous night. Valerie followed, grateful that the hot water heater in the apartment had a large capacity. Sally had thrown together some country gravy and was baking some pop and fresh biscuits.

"That smells good. I've never been able to make decent biscuits and gravy. If that's as good as it smells, I'll keep you."

"So that's your plan, shack up with a good cook. I see it all now."

The two ate, the gravy living up to its aromatic promise. Valerie checked her email, finding nothing from work or Master. She tried calling Francine, but there was no answer. Assuming her friend had to go to work, she left a message that she would look at the other houses on their list.

Sally had to get home and change. Her email had a note from Charles with instructions to pick Valerie up and what special steps to take on the way. "Val, I'm supposed to pick you up tonight, so we should probably not spend the day together. Be sure you're ready and naked by 6:00. Can you drop me off at my place?"

"Sure. I have to go that way anyway to look at one of our potential houses. I have the day off from work, so I'll be able to be home in plenty of time. What should I be ready for tonight?"

"I can't say. It'll be different in many ways, though there'll be some familiar play."

After dropping Sally off, she took in the other houses and apartment on the list. After the perfect house from yesterday, all these seemed to pale. The one she first had high hopes for was a disaster. Painted (!) hard wood floors, cracks in the walls, water stains in the basement. She estimated there was at least $200,000 of repairs that needed to be made. They didn't need a money pit.

It was 3:00 by the time she had finished the rounds. She ate a late lunch, splurging on a grease burger and fries at one of the local burger joints, then headed home to get ready. She took another shower, not that she needed one, and set a selection of toys on the table in case Sally needed any for the trip. It occurred to her that Master could demand that she travel the entire distance unclothed. She shuddered at the thought. "Could I deal with walking down to the street and getting into Sally's car, naked, except for a collar and cuffs?" The thought was tantalizingly erotic, yet frightening and humiliating.

At 5:45, she made one last email check before the weekend started. Nothing was there that needed to be dealt with before the weekend was over. The last bit of waiting was almost torture. Valerie had never been very good at the waiting games. The doorbell caused her to practically jump out of her skin (there being nothing else to jump out of). She walked to the door and opened it, seeing Sally standing there, dressed in a delicious leather outfit that looked like it had taken a paint brush and a crowbar to get into. The biker's jacket was worn loosely over a bustierre that made Sally's breasts appear to be twice as full as they really were. The pants fit tightly enough that you could tell exactly what wasn't being worn underneath. Knee high boots with a one inch heel fit snuggly over the pants, zipped up on the sides. The studded collar, her symbol of submission, was a perfect accompaniment to the outfit.

Valerie's nervousness fled, faced with the ability to be who she was. She knelt and, head bowed, greeted her friend, lover and Mistress, "Mistress, welcome. I hope this humble slave meets with your approval. Is there anything you require of me?"

"Quiet. Remain on your hands and knees. Lead me to your bedroom."

Valerie crawled on all fours through her apartment to the bedroom. Inside, she turned around and waited for further instructions from her Mistress. Sally followed her slowly, picking up some of the toys that were lying on the table. In the bedroom, she stood in front of Valerie, simply looking down on her. The silent scrutiny weighed on Valerie, a weight that was both pleasant and unnerving. Crouched at the feet of a dominant, waiting for orders or guidance, she was unsure whether she had Sally's approval. Was something expected of her? Nothing in Sally's stance gave any indication.

Time passed. After five minutes of perfect silence, Valerie was feeling incredible arousal with no idea why. No words had been spoken, no touch had taken place. She wanted desperately to please her Mistress, but couldn't tell if she had or not. The not knowing increased the feeling of dread, like gravity being turned up. She wanted to plead for reassurance, for a reprimand even, yet she knew she had been told to be quiet.

Fifteen minutes of silence, of no movement from either lady. Valerie was crying tears without sobs, her heart pulling in multiple directions, wanting to please so badly, yet knowing she was doing what she had been instructed to do. Never before had nothing felt so horrible. Overwhelmed with the need to show her submission in some tangible way, she bent her head to Sally's boots and kissed them, gently at first, but with increased passion. She covered every inch of the boots with kisses and tears, the action filling a gaping void in her. She would accept any consequence of this unasked for action.

Sally let her kiss the entirety of both boots, smiling at the abject humiliation that Valerie was willing to put herself through. She knew that Master was able to see this on the micro-camera fitted into one of the studs on her collar. Pleased at Valerie's continued silence, she reached down and grabbed her hair.

Rustling from above her let Valerie know a second before that something was happening. She felt the hand grab her hair and she gasped, not in pain, but in relief at some attention, any attention, being directed her way. Sally bent down, holding the hair and a finger to her lips. "Shhhh. Do you love Master?" Vigorous nodding. "Will you do anything to please him?" More vigorous nodding. Tears flowing freely. "Would you go away if he ordered it?"

Valerie's mouth opened, silent sobs wracking her body. She didn't know how to answer. She wanted to be with Master so much and please him. "What if Master could only be pleased by my leaving? Could I do that?" The question tore at her. "What really would I do for him?"

Sally repeated the question softly, "Would you go away if he ordered it?" Valerie's head was held up, unable to look away from Sally's eyes. Unlike last week, these eyes were not empty, denying access to the heart within. In those eyes Valerie saw love, yes, but even more, confidence, confidence that this submissive would do the right thing, would know how to answer, understanding what that answer meant for her and for Him.

In her mind, it clicked. Her submission was all about pleasing her Master. She had no pleasure if he didn't. That's why true punishment does not arouse. That's why she knew that the only answer she could give was to nod her head; all the while, sobs wracked her with the knowledge that she would accept such a horrible command.

Sally released her hair, grasped Valerie's head between both hands gently and kissed her on the forehead. "Your Master is very pleased with you, more pleased by this gift than in any other you've given him. You're willingness to accept the worst possible fate to please him is a treasure that He, and I, will treasure. Know that you are

not

being sent away. Instead, your presence before Master is being commanded. Speak your heart, Valerie."

"Oh God, please hold me. I need to feel you hold me." Valerie collapsed into Sally's arms, the tension of the last twenty minutes pouring off of her. "I…want to…please…Him…so bad it…hurts. Even…if it's…the last…thing… I'm allowed to…do…for him! How do…How do I hold up when I don't know?"

"Trust Him. Trust that he'll tell you when you fail. Sometimes, and this will be hardest on you, I think, what's pleasing to Master is to wait at his feet, accepting his silence as you would accept his caresses and his pain."

"It was so hard, the waiting, your not acknowledging me. I need…I need to know that I've been pleasing or not. It's like waiting for the beating to start. It tears me up inside so bad."

"I know, little one. But think on this. One week ago, two minutes of waiting for me to start whipping you was intolerable. Today, you waited 15 minutes in total silence and still did not speak or beg, but instead humiliated yourself even further. Look at how much you've grown! Tell me, what were you feeling when you nodded your head that last time, telling Master that you would leave if ordered to?"

"There was horrible gut wrenching pain. Oppressive sadness. A bittersweet happiness."

"Yes, the bittersweet happiness, what caused it?"

"Because…I would please him with my last act as his slave."

"Yes! When I asked you this last week, your answer was about how you would feel to be bereft of Him. Today, your answer included a willingness to obey for his pleasure, in spite of your pain. I think that Master would only send away those slaves that wouldn't be hurt by being sent away. Enough of the hard. It's time to play."

"Yes, Mistress." Valerie answered with a smile.

"Get dressed. Put on something to show off the slut inside. Be sure some of your punishment shows."

Valerie, quickly transforming from the devastated slave to the playful sub, went for slut with a capitol S. Getting out a one-piece bathing suit that she'd gotten a little too large to wear comfortably, she squeezed into it. Her pussy and ass were threatening to spill out the sides and her breasts were squeezed tight by the built-in breast support. The backless design let a wealth of fading marks show and, of course, her legs were totally uncovered. She knew that any neighbor who saw her would be asking questions later, if not of her, than of every other neighbor. She slipped into the highest heels she had, a mere three inch shoe. She finished her look by clipping her leash to her collar and holding her arms out before her. "Mistress, would you bind me?"

"It would be a pleasure. You realize that we'll be walking in public like this?"

"Yes, Mistress. It's frightening, but exciting."

"I can see the excitement." Sally commented, looking down at Valerie's crotch.

Seeing that she had already created a wet spot in the suit, Valerie blushed; mortified at the thought of someone she knew seeing her like this. "What have I done?" she thought to herself.

Sally put the toys she had gathered into her handbag and tugged on the leash, leading Valerie to the door. "You may only speak to a direct question, understand?"

"Yes, Mistress."

The door opened and they went out. Normally, the only good thing about it being Friday after 6:00 is that most people who were going out, had already done so, or were taking in a late show. Luck was not with Val this night, however (or was it with her?). As they stepped from the stairwell to the lobby, a couple was entering, and Valerie knew them. The man, Mel Halk, spoke the question on both their minds as he pulled his cell phone out, ready to dial 911, "Valerie! What's going on?"

An adrenaline surge sparked a memory, a cousin and a game. "Hi, Mr. and Mrs. Halk. It's part of a LARP, live action role playing. We dress up in roles and pretend that's who we are. It's kind of fun."

"Oh. You don't look like one of the Camerilla."

"Oh, it's not Masquerade. It's a new one."

"What game?"

Valerie hesitated, not sure what to say. The last thing she had expected was that they would know of LARPs. Sally, quite enjoying the exchange, rescued her. "It's called

Captive of Gor

."

"So you're the captive, I assume. How long did it take to put those stripes on? The make up work looks fabulous."

Sally could barely contain the laughter as Valerie smiled and said, "It took over two hours. Very hard work, almost painful. It was nice seeing you."

The two ladies broke out in riotous laughter once the couple was out of sight. "Yes, great make-up job." "Hard painful work." "Live action role playing." "Really intense LARPing."

The laughter settling to giggles, Sally asked, "Val, where in the world did you hear of LARPs? You don't strike me as the role playing type."

"I have a cousin into it, Sal…Mistress. She sends me reports I barely look at regularly, trying to get me interested."

"Come along, Captive of Gor."

Sally had parked two blocks away and led Valerie down the sidewalk to her car. After the encounter with the Halks, the passing cars were not too hard to handle, cloaked, as they were, in anonymity. In the car, Sally buckled Val in. Looking at her with a mischievous smile, she said, "You do realize I'm going to have to punish you, don't you?"

Thinking back, she realized, "Oh, I responded to a non-question didn't I, Mistress? I'm sorry; I should have waited for one."

"That's right." Unbinding her hands, she ordered, "Put you hands behind the seat." Once there, Sally reached back and re-snapped the cuffs together. "For disobeying, we will do this." She reached over and pulled the straps to her suit down, popping Valerie's breasts out for all to see. "For starting to use my name, we'll do this." Valerie's gag and blindfold came out and were placed on her. "Your safe word signal is to hit your head against the headrest three times. Understand?"

Valerie nodded. Her entire body was turning the most fascinating shade of red, as she realized just what she must look like, bound to the seat, blindfolded, and gagged and her breasts showing. Even worse, she had no idea who was seeing her in this humiliation. At every stop, she imagined people looking and pointing at her, calling her a slut and whore from the safety of their own cars. The car felt warmer than it actually was, her own body heat reinforcing the warmth of the night.

With great relief, she heard the grating sound of the gate to Master's property opening. The car slowly drove up the drive and parked in front of the house. She felt her hands being released and the seatbelt removed by Sally. "Wait here." Sally's door opened and then shut. Then her door opened and her collar was pulled, forcing her to get out of the car. Standing, her hands rebound behind her, the gag was removed and the leash was pulled again.

She found it very hard to walk in heels while blind. "Mistress, I'm scared."

"What is it?"

"I feel like I might fall at any minute. I know there are steps, please don't let me trip."

"Would you rather crawl?"

"What ever pleases Mistress. I'm just scared."

"I understand. Keep walking. Walking. Step. Step. Step. Walking. Walking. Stop."

Valerie heard the main door open and then the leash tugged. Once inside, she was less frightened, knowing that the only steps would be at the stairs to the basement. She hadn't realized how dependant she would feel, being led blind. The intensity of feeling was on par with being whipped. Her safety was totally in the hands of her dominant, who could choose to lead her into obstacles or not. She wasn't sure that she could've trusted anyone but Sally or Charles to lead her at a walking pace through the house.

"Stop." Valerie heard the sliding doors of the elevator, breathing a sigh of relief that she wouldn't be asked to negotiate the stairs. As the doors opened in the basement, she heard cries of pain and pleasure in the near distance. The others had started without her. Led again, she walked into the dungeon, listening to the sounds of play around her. Someone was being whipped, she couldn't tell with what. Someone else was being aroused, very aroused. A third person, Steven, was begging for an orgasm. She was stopped again.

Master's voice brought her heart into her throat. It had been so long since he had communicated with her. "Valerie. Kneel down and remain perfectly quiet and immobile until I address you by name again."

She knelt and waited. The tension of being ignored once again began to build, as time passed with sounds of pain and pleasure surrounding her. With no frame of reference, she couldn't tell how long she sat immobile, not even sure that Master was still beside her. The impetus to

do

something to please him grew stronger and stronger. She remembered Sally's words from earlier, "Sometimes, and this will be hardest on you, I think, what's pleasing to Master is to wait at his feet." This is what he asked of her now, this hardest thing.

"I trust Master," she told herself. "I'll give him what he asked, my silence, my stillness. I'll please him." The pain of the stillness grew, forcing tears out of her eyes. Yet, she held herself, not moving or making a sound. Her determination to obey, to be pleasing, giving her the endurance to withstand this very different sort of pain, as it did when she was being whipped.

Only later would she know that she knelt there, tears dripping slowly down her cheeks, for 90 minutes. The sounds of the others faded. She couldn't tell if there was anyone even present, her own breathing sounding like a hurricane wind in her ears. She couldn't see all of them, sitting around her watching as she endured pain that was, for her, greater than a whip or crop. When His voice came, her heart leapt for joy.

"Valerie. What would you do now?"

"Master." Her throat, silent for so long, rasped, "I would so love to please you. Anything, Master, as long as it pleases you."

"So if I asked you to remain here, silent and still for the rest of the weekend, you would?"

"I would try, Master. But it is so hard, I don't know if I could."

As he spoke, someone was untying her hands. "I'll not ask that hard of a thing now, though I may in the future, when you're more able. I have a timer, do you hear it?"

The ticking was almost loud. "Yes, Master."

"I want you to remain still and silent until the timer finishes. When it does, you may remove your blindfold, your clothes and crawl to the lounge where I will be waiting. You'll be alone; no one will be here at all. Only you will know if you are successful in this test. If you understand, nod your head." Valerie nodded. "Good. Please me in this."

She heard several people get up and walk away. Her hands at her sides, she knelt, the tears returning, as she felt the loneliness crush in on her again; her only companion the ticking of a kitchen timer. She cried in her head at the pain of being alone, of not having that reassurance from her Master. She clung to Sally's words, "Sometimes, and this will be hardest on you, I think, what is pleasing to Master is to wait at his feet." "Sometimes, and this will be hardest on you, I think, what is pleasing to Master is to wait at his feet." She waited at his feet, her heart crying out for contact, any contact.

He hadn't told her how long the timer was set for, and it would've been useless to know. Tine passed at a rate she couldn't comprehend, slowly fast. Fear of failure warred with that corner of her mind that told her, "No one will know. Look. Speak. It's not failure if he doesn't know." She wanted to shake her head, yell at temptation's voice to shut up, but that in and of itself would be failing. Her devotion to Him and her need for sensation warred, leaving her heart a mangled battleground of despair.