Author's note: many apologies for the unacceptable delay in getting this chapter up. The next (and final) chapter will be out within a week. Thanks again to everyone for your support.
*****
"You're not going to want to hear it, but most of this is your fault." Trina said, then raised the mug of coffee to her lips.
"My fault? Robert is the unreasonable one." Grey protested.
The two were seated facing one another on a leather couch, sipping Trina's excellent coffee.
Grey had tearfully dropped Robert at the airport early that morning, then made the drive to Trina's country home for a long-awaited chat. Trina had been kind enough to welcome her on a Sunday morning and without much advance notice. Bill had tactfully excused himself to the barn shortly after her arrival. Before long Grey had told the older woman everything about her anxiety, Robert and the Gates.
Trina was the only one she could confide in. She couldn't speak to Robert; he was the source of the problem. Her conservative family would be horrified to learn the extent to which she'd already submitted herself to him, so she couldn't share with them either. But Trina would understand, being submissive herself.
Or so Grey had assumed.
"Your fault." Trina repeated firmly, "You've completely abdicated your responsibilities in the relationship."
"What responsibilities? I've done everything Robert wanted. Isn't that enough?"
Trina took another sip and regarded Grey evenly.
"You didn't communicate. That was your number one job, and it sounds like you blew it."
Grey took a moment to down a mouthful of coffee and to consider Trina's words. She felt they were unfair, but didn't fancy the idea of an argument with a practising lawyer.
"Trina, I did communicate. He knew I didn't like the Gates."
"Did you ever say so directly?"
"Well... maybe not. But I told him the Gates weren't really necessary."
"That's not the same as saying you don't like them. You weren't expressing yourself clearly, Grey."
"I figured he'd be able to pick up on my feelings."
"Yes, men are renowned for their ability to pick up subtle emotional cues."
The obvious sarcasm in Trina's tone stung Grey but she couldn't deny that the older woman had a point.
"Look," Trina's tone softened, "Let's not focus on fault. A better question is: what next? What is it you need from this relationship to make it rewarding for you?"
Robert had asked her something similar in the car the previous night. Grey brought the mug to her lips as she considered the question.
"I love Robert. I love his control. I love the ways my life has changed since I met him."
"But you don't like the Gates, even though they're the instruments of that change?"
"I guess I like the results of the Gates, but not the idea of them. Does that make sense?"
"Maybe. You're saying you don't like the process, but you do like the outcomes?"
"Yes... I guess."
"So what about the process upsets you?"
"The unpredictability. The lack of control. I don't get any say in the matter. And it annoys me that he thinks he can just decide things without discussing them with me."
"Okay. So if the Gates were the result of discussion, you'd be more comfortable with them?"
"I think so, yes. I also want to know where the whole thing is leading. Learning his intentions one Gate at a time is frustrating and a little unnerving."
"Then Robert needs to hear that from you. Directly and clearly."
"What if he doesn't want to change?" Grey asked, afraid of the answer.
"Irrelevant. He isn't changing. You are."
"But... he said these Gates are very important to him."
"To be blunt, that's his problem, not yours. You need to start thinking about what's important to you."
"That doesn't sound like a very submissive attitude."
"I disagree. Clear communication of your wants and needs is an essential aspect of submission."
Grey sat in silence for a few minutes, finishing the coffee and digesting Trina's words. It seemed contradictory to Grey to think that she could oppose Robert's will and still be submissive to him. But Trina's long relationship with Bill seemed to demonstrate the effectiveness of the approach. For them, at least.
"Is it weird that I want him to have so much control over me?"
Trina laughed.
"Weird? I know a man who can reach orgasm by pouring a litre of milk over his wife's naked body. I know a woman who voluntarily sleeps in a dog kennel on the weekends. I know a twenty year old who chooses to wear a diaper all day and all night."
"Uh... okay, that's pretty weird."
"I'm not sure there's any such thing as 'weird'. You need to live the lifestyle that suits you and meets your needs. If you want Robert to control some or all of your life, that's just fine. But you must ensure it's happening in a way that makes you comfortable and happy.
"So what's the best way to communicate this to Robert? Do I just come out and tell him?"
"That's one way. That's how Bill and I do it."
"What about a contract?" Grey said, revisiting the idea of the slave contract she'd seen on a blog.
Trina paused to consider the question.
"A contract would work to establish a starting framework. It isn't a substitute for clear, regular communication but it would get the ball rolling."
Grey nodded as the notion took hold. "I like the idea because I could take my time and organize my thoughts. When Robert is near me it's sometimes hard to think clearly."
"From what I've seen, you have a similar effect on him." Trina said.
Grey blushed, recalling the erotic photo shoot and its passionate aftermath.
"So what kinds of things should go in the contract?"
"Depends. What kind of relationship are you looking for?"
