Author's note: many apologies for the unacceptable delay in getting this chapter up. The next (and final) chapter will be out within a week. Thanks again to everyone for your support.
*****
"You're not going to want to hear it, but most of this is your fault." Trina said, then raised the mug of coffee to her lips.
"My fault? Robert is the unreasonable one." Grey protested.
The two were seated facing one another on a leather couch, sipping Trina's excellent coffee.
Grey had tearfully dropped Robert at the airport early that morning, then made the drive to Trina's country home for a long-awaited chat. Trina had been kind enough to welcome her on a Sunday morning and without much advance notice. Bill had tactfully excused himself to the barn shortly after her arrival. Before long Grey had told the older woman everything about her anxiety, Robert and the Gates.
Trina was the only one she could confide in. She couldn't speak to Robert; he was the source of the problem. Her conservative family would be horrified to learn the extent to which she'd already submitted herself to him, so she couldn't share with them either. But Trina would understand, being submissive herself.
Or so Grey had assumed.
"Your fault." Trina repeated firmly, "You've completely abdicated your responsibilities in the relationship."
"What responsibilities? I've done everything Robert wanted. Isn't that enough?"
Trina took another sip and regarded Grey evenly.
"You didn't communicate. That was your number one job, and it sounds like you blew it."
Grey took a moment to down a mouthful of coffee and to consider Trina's words. She felt they were unfair, but didn't fancy the idea of an argument with a practising lawyer.
"Trina, I did communicate. He knew I didn't like the Gates."
"Did you ever say so directly?"
"Well... maybe not. But I told him the Gates weren't really necessary."
"That's not the same as saying you don't like them. You weren't expressing yourself clearly, Grey."
"I figured he'd be able to pick up on my feelings."
"Yes, men are renowned for their ability to pick up subtle emotional cues."
The obvious sarcasm in Trina's tone stung Grey but she couldn't deny that the older woman had a point.
"Look," Trina's tone softened, "Let's not focus on fault. A better question is: what next? What is it you need from this relationship to make it rewarding for you?"
Robert had asked her something similar in the car the previous night. Grey brought the mug to her lips as she considered the question.
"I love Robert. I love his control. I love the ways my life has changed since I met him."
"But you don't like the Gates, even though they're the instruments of that change?"
"I guess I like the results of the Gates, but not the idea of them. Does that make sense?"
"Maybe. You're saying you don't like the process, but you do like the outcomes?"
"Yes... I guess."
"So what about the process upsets you?"
"The unpredictability. The lack of control. I don't get any say in the matter. And it annoys me that he thinks he can just decide things without discussing them with me."
"Okay. So if the Gates were the result of discussion, you'd be more comfortable with them?"
"I think so, yes. I also want to know where the whole thing is leading. Learning his intentions one Gate at a time is frustrating and a little unnerving."
"Then Robert needs to hear that from you. Directly and clearly."
"What if he doesn't want to change?" Grey asked, afraid of the answer.
"Irrelevant. He isn't changing. You are."
"But... he said these Gates are very important to him."
"To be blunt, that's his problem, not yours. You need to start thinking about what's important to you."
"That doesn't sound like a very submissive attitude."
"I disagree. Clear communication of your wants and needs is an essential aspect of submission."
Grey sat in silence for a few minutes, finishing the coffee and digesting Trina's words. It seemed contradictory to Grey to think that she could oppose Robert's will and still be submissive to him. But Trina's long relationship with Bill seemed to demonstrate the effectiveness of the approach. For them, at least.
"Is it weird that I want him to have so much control over me?"
Trina laughed.
"Weird? I know a man who can reach orgasm by pouring a litre of milk over his wife's naked body. I know a woman who voluntarily sleeps in a dog kennel on the weekends. I know a twenty year old who chooses to wear a diaper all day and all night."
"Uh... okay, that's pretty weird."
"I'm not sure there's any such thing as 'weird'. You need to live the lifestyle that suits you and meets your needs. If you want Robert to control some or all of your life, that's just fine. But you must ensure it's happening in a way that makes you comfortable and happy.
"So what's the best way to communicate this to Robert? Do I just come out and tell him?"
"That's one way. That's how Bill and I do it."
"What about a contract?" Grey said, revisiting the idea of the slave contract she'd seen on a blog.
Trina paused to consider the question.
"A contract would work to establish a starting framework. It isn't a substitute for clear, regular communication but it would get the ball rolling."
Grey nodded as the notion took hold. "I like the idea because I could take my time and organize my thoughts. When Robert is near me it's sometimes hard to think clearly."
"From what I've seen, you have a similar effect on him." Trina said.
Grey blushed, recalling the erotic photo shoot and its passionate aftermath.
"So what kinds of things should go in the contract?"
"Depends. What kind of relationship are you looking for?"
Grey and Trina discussed the details over a second cup of coffee and throughout the morning. Trina proved to be an excellent sounding board for her ideas and thoughts; Grey was thankful to have found a friend and mentor in the older woman. When Grey left just before noon, she had a better idea of what she wanted for herself. She hoped that Robert would be agreeable to what she had in mind.
***
A week later, at mid-day, she was waiting when he emerged from the arrivals gate at the airport. The sight of him filled her with a mix of excitement and nervousness. Her high heels clicked on the floor as she walked up to him.
She'd chosen a yellow sundress for the occasion, cut high at the hemline, showing plenty of leg and even a little bit more if the wind hit it just right. She'd been choosing her own clothes for the entire week and had to admit to herself that Robert's tastes had rubbed off on her to some degree; left to her own devices she still chose dresses instead of pants. Today especially she had dressed with him in mind.
She had carefully planned what she wanted to say and how she wanted to say it. She hoped to deliver a message that was assertive but still submissive. Defiant but accommodating.
It had been seven days since she'd dropped him at the airport and each day had felt like a month. At her request their contact had been minimal during the time apart - a few text messages and a phone call every night at bedtime. She'd wanted to focus on her own needs and feelings, not on him. In that regard she'd been mostly unsuccessful; thoughts of him were never far from her.
He saw her and broke into a wide grin, but his eyes held something else. Hesitation? As she approached those eyes seemed to be reading her, trying to determine what changes the week had brought.
She plunged into his embrace heedlessly and he wrapped her up in his arms. She buried her face in his neck and inhaled him, his familiar, welcome scent. Only then did she realize how terribly she'd missed him. She clung to him a little longer than she'd intended. When she stepped back it was only to press her palms to either side of his face and pull him down for a deep kiss.
She felt him relax into her, all sign of hesitation gone. She looked into his brown eyes and now saw only hunger, affection and warmth.
"Please never leave again, Master." she put emphasis on the last word.
"Not unless you're with me, kitten."
She hugged him close again, delighting in the feeling of his arms around her.
They walked hand in hand to the parking lot and he stowed his luggage in the car. She handed him the keys. She preferred it when he was behind the wheel.
As he navigated the twisting, tortuous roads around the airport she made light chatter; how she'd finished painting all the apartments, how the contractors had finished laying the flooring in the coffee shop. He filled her in on his business in Calgary - he'd promoted a manager to junior partner of his moving company to reduce the administrative load, met with his parents and both were well.
It was only when he hit the highway and didn't need all his focus on the road that she brought the conversation around to the most pressing subject. She didn't want to wait until she was at the apartment with him; she knew that once she felt his warm hands on her body, her resolve would be replaced by lust.
She needed to establish some new norms for their relationship before that happened.
"I've given a lot of thought to what I want, Master." she began. She'd rehearsed in her mind the entire conversation at least fifty times over the last week.
"I'm glad to hear it, kitten."
"First, I have to apologize. I did a lousy job of communicating. You asked for the Complete Truth and I never once gave it to you. I'm very sorry, Robert."
His right hand reached over and squeezed her knee.
"I forgive you completely and wholeheartedly, kitten."
"Thank you Master."
"But you're still going to get a spanking."
"Yes Master." she'd expected something similar. A part of her was almost eager to be naked and bent over that bar stool.
"And I apologize to you as well, kitten. I never wanted to scare you. If I'd been paying closer attention I might have been able to read your feelings before everything came to a head."
"I forgive you Master."
"Thanks."
"Do I get to spank you too?"
