She sat at the airport gate, her composed face pointed at the window, her gaze looking out into the middle distance. Outside the rain fell steadily, from roiling, dark-gray clouds. The near-darkness gave all of those at the gate reason for hope, since their flight terminated at St. Lucia in the Caribbean. Their weather there was a far cry from this rain stuff.
She shifted in her seat. She was dressed well, with sensible black ballet flats, a trim pair of slacks that hugged her rather curvy bottom, and a conservative top that tried but ultimately failed to hide her bustline. She wore a scarf around her heck, a colorful paisley, and her overall attractiveness drew everyone's eyes. More than one person wondered what a beautiful woman like her was doing flying to St. Lucia alone.
It was good that no one could read her thoughts, because the composed exterior she projected hid a mental state closer to panic. How many times had she asked herself what the fuck are you doing, Rose? How many times had she second-guessed a decision snap-made right in the aftermath of all the upheavals her personal life suffered a few months back. Not that things had improved for her on the personal front all that much. But this trip, completely out of character for her, still held her in equal parts of terror and lusty allure.
She turned her wrist and checked her watch, and flicked her eyes to the phone. There, on her mobile app, was the entire reason for this trip. This virtual world in which she lived, practically daily, and for over a decade, had led her to this. The name that had so often been a central point in her life was there - offline, but still there. She let the hand holding the phone drop into her lap, and once more her attention focused outside. Where was she?
Over a decade ago, she had discovered a virtual world system. She had been a common resident of text-based chat rooms for a while, and was used to the somewhat guilty pleasure of such roleplays. She could be anything she wanted online - a young little seeking a Daddy, or a strong Domme desiring a submissive. In the real world, she was a staid, conservative homemaker who diligently supported her husband in his affairs. She raised the kids and raised them right. She and her husband had met and married young, and had kids young; being in her early forties when the kids left home to go into their adult lives left her somewhat at wits end.
They were not rich but affluent. She controlled the household spending carefully and as a result, once the kids were beginning to grow more mature, she and her husband realized that they would have some cash to spend. They were not lavish but at the same time could afford to treat themselves how they wanted. They traveled mostly, and in a good way.
But age and the weariness that raising children brings badly afflicted their sex life. Whilst young they often made love four or five times a week. As the children came and their needs began dominating their day to day, such tender moments of affection dwindled. From four times a week down to one. Then down to maybe twice a month. Then down to once a month. They managed to hover there for many years, occasionally enjoying a second intimate moment. But as much as they looked at each other and promised more such moments, life interrupted.
Rose fidgeted in her seat again. As before she checked her phone, and still the name she was hoping to see appear as online had not yet appeared. She checked her watch again. Even though there was ample time, her edginess in general could easily slip into panic. Once more her hand fell into her lap, and she returned into her mind. How did I get here?
She chuckled, aloud, then looked around guiltily. But everyone was far too focused on their own selves to worry about a soft noise from her. She settled down a little.
The chat rooms had been the start. Oh, how guilty she had felt that first time that she had interacted with another person via chat. In that moment it had been the hottest thing she had ever done. The children, away at school, the husband, away at work, the clothes cleaned matching the floors, leaving her idle and bored. In such moments, her strong sex drive that was normally tucked neatly away, would push through. Porn seemed so cheap to her; the desire to interact with another person brought her to the computer.
And so that first time, her right hand busy rubbing her sex furiously, her left inexpertly replying to his crude come-ons, she came and came hard. Harder than she had come in a long time. And in fact, she realized that her husband had not managed to get her off the last two times they'd made love. He had gotten his fun, she recalled. She had been left to touch herself under the covers listening to him snore, and her orgasm had been unfulfilling. But this one, the one just experienced, left her heaving in her office chair. Her sweater had been pulled up, and she'd yanked her breasts from her bra. Her nipples were so stiff they were almost sore, and her pussy was sodden yet satisfied.
That night she had stumbled so often in front of her husband while they talked. But the longer they talked, the more she realized that he had no idea. Still, the guilt remained strong for a few weeks. But like any strong drug, her libido demanded satisfaction and she found herself once more in front of the computer.
It became a habit. And once the virtual worlds opened up, and brought with it the pleasure of the visual imagery to go with the tawdry words, the habit became an addiction. She had always had some money of her own, from long ago. She had always tapped it carefully; she scolded herself for spending on an online computer game but at the same time she wanted - needed in fact - to represent herself well.
She shifted again in her seat. After cycling through the same worried glance at her phone, she resumed pondering what brought her there.
It was the BDSM. In her real world, she made love to her husband the way they thought society expected of them. It was limited to missionary, the occasional doggy-style and even less occasional oral. The first time that she found herself - or rather, her virtual avatar - tied to a bondage post, she gaped at the computer screen. It happened to be that her pants and panties were off and her fingers were so busy. That day she came four times; had her husband touched her that night she might have whimpered in pain and have the whole thing come undone.
She understood the allure. It was an act that she could never do in real life. But it stoked the imagination, and engaged her mind; both elements led directly to real arousal, and real arousal led to real, and powerful, and satisfying, orgasms. In her virtual world she took baby steps into that life, and at various times found herself owned, or owning another. She began researching BDSM concepts offline, sometimes at night with her laptop or iPad while her husband was snoozing or off puttering about. She became fascinated with the concept of control - ceding it, or taking it.
But as partners came and went she soon realized that her virtual world was identical to the real in one key way - the avatars were driven by people, and those people had varying degrees of commonality to her. She grew picky, both with potential subs and potential Dominants. There was a lengthy dance to undergo before the ritual of ownership was completed. And when such relationships collapsed, which unfortunately they often did, she was left to handle real life heart ache. The sense of guilt had been dashed long ago. It was replaced by genuine human emotions, and that made the virtual world seem much more real.
It did not take her long to realize that the vast majority of avatars in her world were driven by men yet the overall sex makeup within the world was skewed heavily female. Sometimes the men driving their female avatars were easily discerned. Others took much longer. One tell-tale was that a gorgeous woman sported a big, thick cock. That was very nearly a guarantee that the avatar driver was male in real life. Yet she played along, because it was more fun that way. And besides, she thought, if the avatar driven managed to arouse her in real life then more power to him. Or her. She realized that she did not care.
