Trainingware

Eighth of nine parts.

Copyright 2009 by F. Diriger

-15-

David

Gwynn was talking enthusiastically to Diane when I came into the kitchen for dinner on Tuesday. She gave me a significant glance as she finished recounting her triumph with Charlie O'Hara, who'd just asked her to his house for a study date. Diane seemed happy, reminiscing that it seemed Gwynn had been in diapers just a few years ago, and now she was starting to date, and Yadda-Yadda-Yadda, like parents do. She gave me a funny look at one point, but I couldn't figure out why; she certainly wasn't upset with me. Maybe Gwynn told her about my part in this. Or maybe Judy had told her, it suddenly struck me. I flushed at the thought, since I felt a strong need to keep all my interactions with Judy private!

When I got upstairs after dinner I thought hard about what I had to do to keep getting my homework in on time. I didn't want to be punished for missing a deadline, but what I really wanted most was to spend the rest of the evening going over the things Judy had given me. I didn't have any assignments due until Thursday, and I finally decided I could get my two assignments done by then if I worked extra hard tomorrow -- Wednesday.

I started reading Judy's diary, since I wanted to save the sensie ADT for last. The diary extract began when Judy was fifteen, with a preface that was so formally phrased that it must have been written by her homebrain. The preface explained that at the beginning of the extract, Judy's mother, Janice Price, had just divorced her stepfather, Richard Caspar. Judy always referred to him by his last name after that.

Then, I got a shock! The grounds for divorce were that Caspar had been abusing Judy!

It wasn't completely clear at first what he'd done to her, a lot of inappropriate punishments when Judy's mother was out of the house was what I figured out after I read a lot more. Actual rape was ruled out by the charges brought in criminal proceedings stemming from the divorce. Caspar was sentenced to criminal conditioning, so he'd be unable to abuse children. It wouldn't affect his desire to perform that kind of abuse though -- he was much too old and inflexible for the kind of psychological training I was getting, which was actually intended to change my motivations.

Judy was in deep therapy for almost a year after the divorce. In her diary, she talked about her feelings and what she learned in therapy. It seemed a lot of things had been edited out, but she left in how she remembered feeling ashamed when Caspar punished her, believing all the bad things that happened were really her own fault: that she deserved punishment and her Mom had agreed to it! I'd asked for Judy's diary earlier because I wanted to understand everything I could about her background, but I'd never expected anything like this! No wonder Judy was so insistent that I not tell anyone else about it!

I read through the diary carefully for about an hour. After Judy felt better about herself and entered adolescence at seventeen, she started visiting the same BDSM VirtSites I used myself. If I'd had lucky timing I could have been BDSM Top to her bottom in some Virtual Encounters! Of course Judy wouldn't accept any worse than a sixty-forty chance on the toss-up, so I would have had a forty percent to be the Bottom myself. But still! The thought of giving Judy a virtual whipping gave me a tremendous thrill.

Judy's best friend was Maureen O'Hara, and she was probably the one who introduced Judy to BDSM, but the diary had too many deletions for me to be sure. When I was nearly at the end of the diary extracts, there were some entries about me! Judy recounted how Diane hired her to be in charge of my discipline, and she explained that she'd always been attracted to me, so she was turned on about taking the job. She said that she'd been worried she was reacting selfishly, but mentioned Ms Fechtenbaum had convinced her that I really needed the discipline. There were a few rather explicit plans for punishing me that she'd written into the diary. I got very self-conscious reading this part, but there were only a few paragraphs of it before the diary came to an end.

After I finished, I tried to relax and think about what I'd just read as a whole, and I got a weird feeling! Here I'd been thinking Judy was so mature! That's what Diane thought and what everybody said at school, but in her diary she sounded pretty mixed up to me. She'd had a lot of personal problems, and they weren't completely cleared up even now! Just a few weeks ago she'd noticed her hips had grown too wide for her gym shorts, and she'd felt ashamed of herself because Caspar used to punish her when he said she was flaunting her body. Another recent entry had Judy realizing she hated when her Mom went out in the evening and left her in the house, because that had always been when Caspar would find an excuse to punish her.

When Judy noticed inappropriate feelings, she'd do mental exercises she learned in therapy to extinguish the traumatic connection. Then she wouldn't have the feelings anymore. But sometimes the feelings returned later; she still hadn't extinguished all of them! So I was beginning to wonder if Judy was really an appropriate person to be in charge of my discipline. Maybe she was just turned on by punishing me because she was copying what her stepfather did to her! And she'd needed a year of therapy at the end of that! Judy suddenly didn't seem as responsible as everybody thought.

I wanted to play the ADT now, so I put it in my player, then put on my headband and sensie suit before I started it up. It began at low intensity of course, which was a good thing since there was a weird double image in what I was experiencing. The player paused when it detected a problem in my feedback, and a status message come up that said I should remove one of the receivers I was wearing. I had no idea what that could mean, but then I got an idea and took off the sensie headband. When I started the ADT again, I got perfectly sharp sensie playback, and I stopped the sensie again so I could think. I was obviously wearing a sensie receiver without knowing it. How was that possible?

Ah. It was something Judy did. And I suddenly realized that since I could receive a sensie through whatever I was wearing, Judy would probably be able to record a sensie of me as well!

I flushed as I realized Judy was probably recording me while I was being whipped and tantalized so she could play it back later and experience what I was feeling! She'd reduce the intensity of the whipping part, but keep the erotic parts to help her get herself off. My face got very hot as I pondered my complete lack of privacy. But I had to admit it was a very sexy idea. I would have wanted to do the same thing to Judy if I were in charge. But then I'd never pretended to be the most mature kid in the school!

I started running my fingers over my head and the sides of my neck, everywhere I might have a sensie transmitter attached, and when I concentrated hard I realized there was a spot near the top of my head that I couldn't touch -- my fingers seemed to skip over the area like there was an invisible bandage there. So that's where it was then, a microbead probably, and I couldn't feel it because of a minor compulsion. I considered this for a moment, then closed my eyes to blank out things around me and started the sensie playing again.

I was Judy, walking around my apartment, and I could feel my breasts and the sensitive swelling between my legs that I was aware of in the background, feeling the friction against the crotch of my shorts. I was quite horny in a sort of genteel, drawn-out, female way that I-David had experienced in several X-rated sensies from the woman's viewpoint. When the front entrance chimed, I opened the door and saw David standing there, looking apprehensive and aroused, and it was a real turn-on! I thought how cute and vulnerable David looked this way, and when he came in and handed me the punishment wand I got even more excited, looking at his flushed face.

David acted like he was too weak to stand up, but I suspected he was just trying to get sympathy. I had him sit down and put him in Deep O-Mode, then left to do something -- there was a kind of glitch in the sensie feed then, obviously an edit deletion. When things started up again I felt something close-fitting under my outer clothes, and I was aware it was my-Judy's sensie suit!

David was trying to talk his way out of punishment, but I told him I thought he needed this training, and at the end I intimidated him by telling him what he'd get if he didn't do what I said. Then I ordered him to undress, and I was surprised at how humiliated he felt through the sensie I was experiencing. I tried to imagine some situation that would make me that embarrassed, and I thought I'd have to be caught masturbating naked in the school gym by a group of boys! Once I had David's clothes off, I took my time teasing him, ogling his naked body from various angles to increase his embarrassment, enjoying what a cute bundle of boy flesh he was and how much power I had.

After a few minutes of teasing, I made David walk into the exercise room and get into the positioner. He was very scared at this point, because of the traumatic whipping he remembered Linda giving him, so I thought it was best to move forward quickly since the reality shouldn't be as bad as he imagined. During the whipping I focused carefully on the task at hand, putting myself in an almost clinical frame of mind to be sure I did it right. At the end of the first round David was bawling, and once I was able to relax my concentration I got turned on listening to him and looking at his red butt. And then there was another glitch in the sensie.

When the tape glitch was over, I realized that I felt different. I was somewhat less horny, and I was wet between the legs. I could feel my pussy squelching against the crotch of my sensie suit, and I-David realized that Judy must have masturbated during the glitch in the tape! There was something else too -- I felt a tiny stinging sensation on my behind, like I'd just been spanked lightly. Or, the thought came, like I'd just been playing a sensie of what David was feeling while he was being whipped.

I paused the sensie and quickly felt like myself again. I had a throbbing erection because there was a lot of sexy stuff in what I'd been playing, but I was really mad, and I lost the erection quickly. Judy was being such a bitch! She thought I was attractive, but she didn't have any respect for me at all as a person. It was like my wishes didn't matter at all! She had me under her power, so that meant she could do anything she wanted. When I thought about how awful it was for me in the positioner while Judy was getting turned on, I wanted to scream! She was stroking herself off between my whipping rounds, and most likely staring at my red ass as she did it. She'd probably masturbated in the room behind me, where I was up on display, and played the sensie of my pain and arousal at low intensity to get herself more aroused. No matter what anyone said about the therapeutic value of this training, I didn't think Judy could possibly be acting appropriately demeaning me like this, trampling on my dignity for her own pleasure.

I was really angry, and when I thought how I'd been trying to be a good slave for Judy, it was all I could do to keep from phoning her and telling her what a bitch she was for fooling me into thinking she was my protector. But I didn't want to be whipped for cursing at her, so I told myself I needed to think of a better way to handle this. The idea I got after a few minutes thought was to just try to avoid whippings if I could, live through them when I had to, but to preserve my dignity from now on. Certainly I'd never act like a puppy dog to get on Judy's good side again. I cringed as I remembered how I'd told her she could punish me more if she'd enjoy it while she was getting me off. And how she'd loved doing that! Never again! I'd take what she dished out but I wasn't going to abase myself from now on!

I decided I wanted to play the sensie to the end, so I started it again.

I was giving David his second whipping round. He sounded kind of desperate at the beginning so I felt a little sorry for him, but I gave him what he had coming. Then I left him to regain sensitivity again and took a break in the next room, thinking about a humiliation punishment I could use where I'd take him outdoors near the pool and made his shorts drop off. He wouldn't know it was screened from observation, so he'd be embarrassed about being naked outside the house. When I got back to what I was beginning to think of as the punishment room, I walked up to the positioner and started whipping David for lies and disobedience. I knew this was the part where he'd start to understand he had to do everything he could to please me. It was a turn-on thinking of him being conditioned this way, but I also knew that this conditioning was a crucial first step of his training.

When I was done with that round, I frightened him by saying he'd be getting more whipping in a moment, then asked him if he wanted me to use humiliating punishments instead, and he begged me to do that. Max! He was so afraid of whipping now he'd beg me to do anything I wanted. I went and got the Hubba, all silver tentacles, and put it on David's thigh -- then there was another part of the sensie edited out. In the next scene, I was moving my fingers in a strobing pattern on David's erection that Hubba was showing me. Once I stepped back I knew Hubba was duplicating that pattern, and would always duplicate the sensations whenever David felt friction against his cock. I-David recognized why I always felt Judy's fingers on my cock, even when I was masturbating! As I stood back, I saw Hubba scraping its tentacles across David's bottom and thrusting a pencil of tentacles in and out of his anus, and of course David was terribly excited, with his bottom bobbing up and down as he tried to get off. And then there was another part edited out! What the hell were all these edits for?

In the next scene, David was shrieking with excitement and struggling frenetically to thrust his hips against the positioner. A video status pad in the left part of my visual field showed David had an Arousal rating of NINETY- FIVE! It was dropping quickly now, and I could see the Hubba had stopped stimulating him, but David was still screaming with frustration. I felt kind of bad, thinking that this was too hard on David and it was really my fault, so I tried to be a little comforting when he was able to talk again. I got him out of the positioner and let him go to the bathroom -- another missing part in the sensie -- and when he came back I went through the game where he got tantalized whenever he came near me, and I paddled him pretty hard bending over the table. Then I finally put him over my knee and paddled him while I let him get off. I was feeling super horny myself at that point, hearing David beg me to paddle him harder, and I was looking forward to getting into my bedroom later to stroke off.

The sensie came to an end, and I was surprised Judy hadn't edited out her thoughts about stroking off at the end. I'd known exactly what she was thinking, and there was a hint of body memory of what it was like in the past when she stroked off, so it was very erotic. But why had she left that in? Didn't it embarrass her? And all the other sensations earlier in the sensie, like when her pussy felt wet against her sensie suit, or just the fact that she had the suit on! After a moment's thought, I realized she probably hadn't experienced her own sensie -- everybody knows that's a bad idea -- so she'd just told the homebrain to edit out certain parts, and she hadn't realized how I could fill in what happened from sensations and vagrant thoughts shed had that weren't deleted by those edits.

OK, so now I knew how much Judy enjoyed punishing me and that she got turned on intimidating me so she could make me do humiliating things. She was conditioning me to be her slave! And she'd pushed my Arousal rating up to 95, which HAD to be dangerous! I'd never HEARD of such a high rating! I figured she'd screwed up, like I had with Diane when I left her Arousal at 89 after she'd finished coming, but even worse! So Judy had been scared she'd hurt me, which is why she was so solicitous afterward.

That part made me nervous, because I was going to try to resist Judy's brainwashing from now on, just treat her as what she was, a screwed up girl barely older than I was, getting cheap thrills from having power over me and causing me pain. But if she brought me up to 95 Arousal again, I wouldn't be able to resist doing anything she wanted. I remembered how I'd felt as I was being stimulated on the positioner, willing to sell my soul if I could just get off!

But okay, no matter what happened or how bad I felt while Judy was punishing me, I could get my dignity back after it was over. Nobody could do anything more than that under torture, which is what this was. And I wasn't going to act like her lap dog again unless I was being tortured so much I couldn't stop myself. It didn't count if I didn't cooperate and she had to force me!

It was almost ten o'clock, nearly my bedtime, so I went downstairs for my milk. My behind was definitely a lot less sore now, so at least Judy had told the truth when she said she hadn't bruised me when she was "rewarding" me. I flashed the milk and sat down in the kitchen, feeling only slightly sensitive where my behind contacted the seat, and thought about how to act with Judy. The hardest part about trying to act dignified was how badly I needed to get off every day. In fact, I was pathetically eager when I could only climax once a day! If I could just wake up late every night, I'd take my chances losing the hurdles and getting punished. I figured that with two tries at guessing odd or even, I had three chances out of four to get off one of those times.

I went back upstairs and got undressed. I had to be naked to get in bed of course, but when I felt like I was going to start blushing I tried to remember this wasn't a feeling I wanted to give in to. OK, I had an erection and it was embarrassing, but I didn't want this to be a lot of fun for Judy if she was watching me. So I did mental exercises before lying down, and soon felt my erection go down. I wondered what she'd think of that! Then I got under the covers and lay on my back -- I didn't have to lie on my stomach tonight -- and started to do a mental exercise I hoped would make me wake up late at night, the way I had the previous night. Eventually, I went to sleep.

But I didn't wake up during the night, and in the morning at seven o'clock I was on my stomach with the covers kicked off, humping against the mattress.

I got myself under control right away, then went and took a shower. I went downstairs and ate quickly with nobody else around, then jogged to school to start my aerobic workout. When I got to school it was still only seven-thirty, so I put on my gym clothes and dropped my street clothes into the fresher, then went out into the gym for the rest of my workout. I had to call up a help screen to remember the exercise sequence, but it was pretty straightforward; the sequence started easy the first few days, but became more strenuous as you developed more stamina. At the end of the workout I was panting and exhausted, so I went back into the boys locker room and took another shower, then put on my freshened clothes.

I made progress on my homework Wednesday morning, and skipped my normal lunch time so I wouldn't have to sit near Judy. She'd been ignoring me in class again today, and that was just fine with me. I figured I'd have lunch during my free period right after my regular lunch time, and I had one of my assignments almost done by then.